Dillinger Escape Plan interview

For about eight hours on October 12th, we gave Lambgoat users the opportunity to ask Greg Puciato, singer for Dillinger Escape Plan, anything they wanted. Some questions were insightful. Some were offensive. Others were just plain stupid. Regardless, Greg answered all of them. Obviously, he was extremely generous with his time in doing so. We can't thank him enough. He's a good dude and we love him. Thanks again, Greg.

LOLZ: Do you take steroids? If so, have you thought about a career in major league baseball?

No. Chris and Brian were both scouted in high school though. Little known fact.

iplayinabandwithafatnegro: I've been going to the Dillinger shows since they played with Dimitri back at the Dixie Tavern. Why hasn't the Dillinger Escape Plan come to clean up New Orleans?

Thanks for supporting us throughout the years. Someone tell that place about sump pumps.

holycitybradley: Has anyone ever had a seizure due to your light show?

Yup.

deframon: Are Mike Patton and Trent Reznor your heros?

Nope. There is music that they have both made that I like but I am more of a fan of the way they have ran their careers than I am of their actual vocals, not saying that I am not a fan of their vocals. It's just honestly more of a coincidence than anything that I happen to sound like them at times.

jesuschristsuperstar: Time table for a new record?

We are shooting for 3rd or 4th quarter 2006 to release our new record, which translates to about 2012. No, seriously it won't be as long this time as it was last time.

jesuschristsuperstar: When are you playing Florida again?

As for playing Florida, I don't know when we'll be back. We couldn't book any dates their for this upcoming tour. Routing just didn't work out or something.

Hox: Given the success they've had and their appearance on the Gigantour, does DEP see themselves moving to a 'major' label? Have any major labels shown interest in them?

Major labels have definitely been expressing random interest for a couple years now, most heavily right before we released Miss Machine. I wouldn't say I would never sign to a major label and we talked to a few for a while at one point but it just wasn't for us and I don't think given their state and our state that they are for us right now. I don't think once you have good distribution and a name for yourself it's really that important for a band like us. Sure if you want money to buy your band onto Ozzfest then yeah, but we don't care about that. Most of those labels are full of shit anyway, they call us because they see that we've sold almost a hundred thousand albums with little to no help from anyone other than a small label that has grown with us, and they want to try and capitalize on it. Then they hear our records and have no idea what the hell is going on, and no idea how to classify it and neatly market it to a target audience. They come see us play and they see us lighting shit on fire and throwing equipment at each other and the crowd. They are still curious so they try to tell us to tone down when we play, or that they would want us to bring in a hit writer so they could have a guaranteed hit single so they could sell at least X amount of records, we tell them to fuck off, and they go away.

Hox: Hummer or Mini?

Neither.

clevelandhardcore: With all the time changes that Dillinger has in most songs, is it difficult to keep time while singing? In other words have you ever gotten lost during a live show?

No, we have played these songs a thousand times each. We tour relentlessly so the timings are all instinct at this point. Which is good because not having to think of them allows you to put all of your focus on the intent of the lyrics.

LOLZ: what inspires your lyrics?

Anything. Typical things from relationship issues and day to day shit to crazier things I might read about or witness, fantasies you dream up, whatever. Most are just abstract emotions, more trying to evoke a feeling from the lyrics instead of a concrete message. Finding words that go together that make you feel a certain way not necessarily paint a direct picture. The Perfect Design was about killing someone you loved so that they could never be with anyone else and then realizing that you wanted them back but now can't have them. Sunshine The Werewolf was originally about an article I read about people called "Gift Givers" and "Bug Catchers," people who try to give or catch AIDS deliberately. I changed it a little bit to make it more abstract so that it can be related to as a relationship song too, but it originally started as that. It works on both levels. Feeling can be derived from anything, not just the lyrics but the actual phonetics of them, the consonants and vowel sounds of them are just as important I think.

saw_in_your_colon: Most embarrassing on-stage moment for the band?

I don't know really. The benefit of being in this band because of the way we are onstage is that if I fall off the fucking stage or something, which doesn't happen often haha but still, something like that, it's not as embarrassing as if Chuck singer-dude from Coldplay fell off the stage. It's honestly worse just to forget a lyric or something.

frenetic_amnesic: Is Dave Mustaine REALLY clean?

You know I couldn't really tell. We aren't really a bro down band so it wasn't like we were trying to get bombed with Dave Mustaine but I didn't see him drink or do anything. He had a pastor walking around with him on tour and riding on his bus, I think to help keep him on the straight and narrow path. The amount of visible drug intake on that tour was surprisingly low, but then again like I said we don't really hang out alot anyway so if there was blow being hoovered off of 50 year old metal moms in the back of a Fear Factory bus I was probably sitting on a fucking laptop eating a hotdog.

truthsayer: Anyone at your shows get burned this tour? Did they try to get any handouts for it?

Yeah, some kid complained to the club about his hair burning. That's the last I heard about it though, but I'm sure I'll get the lawsuit papers soon. It's about that time. I'm due.

LOLZ: What is your typical diet while on tour?

Lots of water, Gatorade, and food that doesn't go bad easily or can be easily cooked in a microwave. Tuna fish, bread, bagels, peanut butter and jelly, protein bars, apples. We are all also pretty into hot dogs. Check out the Ballpark Grillmasters, and these little microwave roast beef dinners by Hormel. Fucking unbelievable. Truck stop/waffle house/Ihop food is always a staple as well, I'll go to those places and order ten scrambled eggs no problem.

clevelandhardcore: Did you have to pay alot of money to use the Aphex Twin song?

We actually didn't at all! I don't think he even knows about it. Or maybe he does, who knows? Not me. I think we tried to ask him for permission but then couldn't even figure out how to get ahold of him. He is a pretty mysterious individual.

trapped_in_texas: Greg, do you remember holding my hand when you guys played in OKC recently?

It was a tender moment that I will cherish forever.

trapped_in_texas: Why is Ben so freaking short?

I don't know! Don't be deceived though, he is a fierce little jew. A lot of ferocity in that little kosher frame. He's like the little dog you see that you think is nice but then scares the living shit out of like all the marmadukes and dobermans. The little dog you won't pet.

d00fus_maximus: If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

I don't know man. I think any tree would pretty much suck. Standing in one place forever, in the hot, in the cold, little bastards climbing all over you and breaking off branches. I would have to say a cactus, so people leave me the fuck alone, but then again it would be too hot. I don't know.

clevelandhardcore: Do you ever get sore throats on our?

No but every now and then I get a little bronchitis, but Robitussin CF will knock it out every time.

willy_wanker: Do you have any plans to record the NIN - Wish cover? You doodz rip that song up.

Nah, I don't see any reason to. That song is pretty straight forward and perfect the way it is, and mine and his singing voices are too similar to make it worth redoing. Thanks! We haven't played it in a couple years now.

frenetic_amnesic: Really though, I'd like to know what being on Gigantour was like. Do you dig Megadeth?

I think Rust In Peace is one of the few perfect thrash metal albums of that period, along with ...And Justice For All and Reign In Blood. I definitely wore that album out when I was a kid. They lost it after that though. That was their perfect album. Gigantour was pretty bizarre. We had never done anything like that in the US. Never really done a metal tour like that. Gigantour was like this for us: we get there, stage hands and production people treat us like shit because they know we are gonna make their lives hard for 25 minutes a night, we go onstage, 4000 forty-five year old dudes who still live in their mom's basement and collect swords and dungeons and dragons cards give us the finger and yell faggot at us, we throw equipment at them and instigate them in any way possible, people that work at the arena are horrified and come running toward the stage to try to get us turned off, we are done, people boo, we stuff ourselves with catering.

frenetic_amnesic: Is the new album really going to trump Calculating Infinity?

The new album is gonna be ridiculous. I can promise you that. Chris and Ben have been writing shit they can hardly even play and then practicing it until it's blazing fast.

eadup: Do you guys ever find it hard to find the energy and passion that's found in your live set when you're playing for a small or uninterested crowd? or do you do you guys pretty much feed off each other?

One of the things about this band that is great is that we pretty much polarize people. Crowds are rarely uninterested. We will make them interested if they appear bored. Trust me, when someone is yawning and doesn't seem to care they will when a mic stand flies by their head or when they are being choked, or when they realize one of us has been staring at them for five straight minutes. We feed off each other and for me off of the lyrics alot but a crowd is great whether they hate you or love you. Both are fun.

eadup: Who are the most fun bands to tour with?

Any band that we are already friends with. We don't tour with many bands more than once though because what's the point, so you just go in hoping that the other bands aren't assholes. In the end we are pretty self entertaining though and really only care about slaughtering when we play so we don't really give a fuck if dudes are cool or not. It does help time go by though if they are. We have had alot of fun with most every band we have toured with. It's nice when people take their music seriously but don't take themselves too seriously.

ghetto_paul: Do you have any trouble with vocals on any particular old DEP songs that may keep you from playing them live?

No. We are capable of playing anything at any time.

jedstylesux: Do you guys ever plan on releasing anything good? If so what type of music will it be and why the consistant lackluster din?

Probably not.

Check_Your_Vital_Signs: Are you sick of every shitty band you play with asking you to watch their sets?

If they are worth watching I will. I'm not sick of it if they are shitty because then I just won't watch.

clevelandhardcore: Are you looking forward to the new Ringworm, which came out on 10/18?

I didn't know it was coming out, but yeah I'll listen to it. They are pretty interesting.

jedstylesux: How much better is Scissorfight? Infinitely?

How much better than what? Than they were? Than we are? Than your mom? Oh! "Your mom" never gets old.

march_of_flames: What are some of the bands in music right now that you disrespect/dislike the most? What are some of the new bands coming out that you respect or like the most?

There are alot of bands I respect, not necessarily new. New bands I like? They aren't super new but Breather Resist, Pelican... I don't know. I listen to more old stuff honestly than new. Not many people come out with something great right out of the gate. As for the other half of the question, there are plenty of bands I dislike, far more than I like, but disrespecting is a different issue than disliking. I disrespect bands that are pretending to be something. This whole shit with bands acting like they are Motley Crue or Guns N' Roses at their most decadent, acting like they party so much, it's such a fucking joke. I can't believe kids buy into it. I don't need to harp on one or two bands anymore, I've used bands as examples before and it's easy to find those interviews. The point is pretty clear. Stop pretending you rock so hard and party so much. You are a liar. You don't fight and fuck and drink non-stop, and your music is for 12 year old girls. What type of asshole writes shit like that? Do they really like what they play? It's hard to believe. It's music so that middle school girls who liked boy bands two years ago can fool themselves into thinking they are listening to "hard" shit now.

Captain: What happens when you fuse the brutalness of death metal with the emotion of hardcore?

Is this a trick question? Like Nile mixed with Terror? Floor punching mummies? I don't know.

Captain: You guys and Shat - was the 2002 tour REALLY that debauched?

It really was. All assortments of perversion were definitely witnessed on that tour. We watched a girl piss on Jeff Wood's face while he was lying on a street in front of a church, then she threw up spaghetti all over his face and he started eating the noodles. We saw a girl put a drill with a dildo on it inside of her and turn it on, the "drilldo." Those are just two of a very long list. Seriously the list of unspeakable occurences from that tour is unreal. There is nothing I could ever see that would be shocking now, all because of that tour.

junk: What's the most insane thing you saw Mustaine do during the Gigantour?

This story is insane but not in the way you would expect. One day we were all in the catering area of this club, fuck what was it, the one in Milwaukee, Eagles Ballroom? I think that's it. Well in the catering room there were all these collages on the walls with pictures of musicians on them. Right in the center of one there was a big picture of glory days James Hetfield. Like 1987 Hetfield with the white ESP explorer, roaring like a lion. Mustaine walks in and starts looking at all the collages, gets to that one, and just stares at the Hetfield picture for like 3 minutes. We're all like holy shit look look he's gonna have a fucking freak out or a break down or something. Then he walks over to an open window, leans on the windowsill, and just stares out the window for 15-20 minutes. It was pretty intense. Just the shit that must have been going through his head. He was obviously affected. It was crazy just seeing 25 years of metal history colliding in that dude's head.

d00fus_maximus: Have you ever known one redheaded drummer that could keep a beat?

Yeah I have.

john_doe: How long will it take for your guitarists to heal, and will this delay the recording of the new record, and when is the record to be released?

Ben's surgery is a 6 week recovery time, and Brian will take a little longer, but it won't stop them from writing just performing, which we aren't planning on doing during that time anyway. You can never say for sure when it will be done, but we are hoping by the end of 2006. We have a pretty good amount of loose ideas right now and a few pretty fleshed out songs.

john_doe: You dropped off Gigantour early because of Ben's arm injury, and you've also mentioned that the crowd was not very responsive. what additional negatives were there doing a tour like that, and what were some of the positives (working w/ Mustaine, Dream Theater, or any other of the bands)?

Well there weren't any real negatives, we like playing in front of people who don't "get" us. It's fun and adds extra weight to the aggressive and confrontational vibe that our music and performance already has. Positives were playing with and learning from sick musicians like the guys in Nevermore, Dream Theater, and Symphony X, being on a tour with someone you admired as a kid, and more importantly for us as a band that tour really made us so competitive. We really wanted to crush every show to get under the skin of the people in the crowd who hated us, and coming out of that tour now back into our own environment in the clubs we are still carrying that feeling with us and it has made our shows probably the craziest they have ever been.

john_doe: What direction do you see DEP's music going toward? The last release had more rock, electronics and melody. will there be more of that, or a return to Calculating Infinity? Or will DEP be incorporating more elements into its music?

It's hard to say this early on, the few songs we have done right now are definitely more along the Calculating line, just really intricate and really ferocious, and it seems we are going down that path but I'm sure other things will come out as time goes on. The technicality isn't the main point really and it never has been, it's just a tool to use to get your point across. I hate bands that are "techy" just for the sake of it, it just sounds like emotionless "dink deedle dink" music to me. When people hear us or see us play I want them to feel something. Feel excited, feel pissed off, aggressive, afraid, intimidation, uneasyness. The technicality is just a way of achieving that and when the players in the band are good and put songwriting first of course the technicality and wanting to push themselves as musicians will come out.

john_doe: Will shat ever release another record?

Jeff Wood is working on it now.

john_doe: Do you visit GNC daily?

I don't go there at all.

conduit: Best Sitcom Band? Uncle Jesse and the Rippers OR California Dreams?

I like the Fat Albert gang...just a bunch of guys and a fat cartoon Bill Cosby beating on pieces of garbage in an alley.

conduit: If you could form the ultimate side project with you on vocals, what other dudes would you have playing in said band?

I think I have it pretty good right now man. I couldn't ask for better players than the ones in this band. If I could put together an ultimate band it would be this one. But for fun? I would just want it to be friends since I am already surrounded by sick musicians. Andy from Every Time I Die on guitar (we've talked many times about having a band full of devastating riffs ala Crowbar/Entombed), Aaron North from The Icarus Line/Nine Inch Nails on guitar (because he is an out of control performer and talks massive amounts of shit), Animal from the Muppets on drums (because he's a fucking muppet and hits harder than anyone), and Caleb from Cave In on bass and backup vox (dude has crushing tone and a heavy voice). Honestly though it would still be a side project because I don't prefer any of those guys to the guys in DEP at all, but just to have a band that bashes out massive riffs and a fuzzy thing beating the shit out of drums? That would be the one.

brohammer: What supplements do you take?

None.

brohammer: Obviously you must do some training on the road... what and where do you train?

I really don't do much. Chris honestly works out more than me. He does like 500 push-ups a day and like 1000 jump ropes, in addition to playing crazy drums. He is a fucking cyborg. I just eat a lot of protein and work out a lot when I am home and then just from being healthy on tour I keep most of it. I don't go to gyms or anything like that on tour. I don't want to be sore when we play.

HumanSteamroller: What is your workout routine (detail if you please, I am feeling both curious and aroused)?

At home? I go like 3 to 5 times a week I guess. I don't know how much detail to get into. Lots of heavy basic exercises, squats, deadlifts, cleans. I basically just thrash myself and then eat and sleep alot.

HumanSteamroller: What, exactly, do you have against boxes?

Fuck boxes. What with their lazy ways...lying around and doing nothing. Actually that's pretty awesome. I take it back. Boxes rule.

EveryTimeHeDies: What is your max bench press?

I can't believe all these types of questions. I don't know. I haven't done that exercise in years.

EveryTimeHeDies: Are the songs you guys are writing now really more technical than Calculating Infinity? If so, shed some details on them.

Yeah, they are more technical and definitely more aggressive. Ben and Chris like to write things they can't play and then make themselves get better until they can play them at normal speed, and then over and over until they are ridiculously fast. People always say that Calculating is more "tech" than Miss Machine, but I know for a fact that there are guitar parts on Miss Machine that are harder for Ben to play than Calculating, and the same for drums and bass, and vocally the songs on Miss Machine are way more tiring than on Calculating. Not that stamina has anything to do with technicality. But yeah the songs we have for the next record are pretty out of hand.

Puppies_need_discipline: When is Dimitri coming back?

Are you looking for him? I'll call him and have him come right over. Oh wait, I forgot, he doesn't give a shit about you.

ezstevemcqueen: What's your favorite sex position?

This is ridiculous. If your girl isn't a prude you should like them all. You're gonna blow load eventually anyway, hopefully.

ChemicallyImbalancedSloth: Who do you see as the forerunner in the world of metal right now? Hardcore?

I think it's too diverse for there to be an obvious forerunner. There are alot of good bands.

maudlin: Why the hell do you never play at the Chance in Poughkeepsie, NY?

I don't know?

manbitesdog: Do you ever feel like "tech" music will reach a creative dead end, when all the potential for complex time changes/weird signatures/mathiness will just run out of steam?

Not if people keep themselves from getting trapped into set ways of thinking. Someone new will always find new things to incorporate or ways to think differently.

manbitesdog: Do you think you will be doing this in 10 or 15 years' time, like, say, Neurosis?

If we still have something to say in 15 years time and still feel creatively stimulated by one another and we haven't killed each other yet, than yeah we will.

thefaceeater: If you could tour with any 3 other bands who would they be?

1987 Michael Jackson, Aphex Twin, 1987 Metallica.

thefaceeater: Laguna Beach, yay or nay?

Is that a TV show or something? A place? I seriously don't know.

portslob: No questions... Just thank Liam from Dan, for the free beers at the MA gigantour show.

I'll thank him.

Tim_Diesel: Do you haev respect for those guys because they are capable of releasing an album such as Calculating Infinity?

what?

Tim_Diesel: Did Irony Is A Dead Scene make you want to vomit?

What?

xsamx: Do you guys ever get lost during songs? P.S: Dressing up as My Chemical Romance was hilarious!

No, we don't get lost. As for MCR, we thought so too. The best is that Chris just didn't go with it at all. Dude just took his shirt off and put sunglasses on and socks on his hands. Weird dude, Chris Pennie.

dudecore: I saw you guys at Hellfest 04, were you pissed that Life Of Agony was tuning over your set? It was hard to hear you guys with them getting ready to play.

Yeah that was pretty fucking lame. But then they turned out to be nice on Gigantour and when I asked them about Hellfest they said they didn't even remember us playing before them. Weird.

dudecore: After the release of your next album, who would you like to tour with?

Mogwai, Converge, Dresden Dolls, Aphex Twin, Melvins, Tool, Deftones, NIN, Breather Resist, Pelican, Neurosis, Meshuggah, there are alot of bands we would love to tour with, but it's hard to get everything to work out.

say10: How many more pop songs will be on the next album?

How many more lame "trying to be offensive and shitty but not really achieving that goal" questions are you going to ask?

say10: How does it feel to know that Miss Machine is worthless and forgettable compared to the impact Calculating Infinity had?

Oh, I guess one more. How does it feel to know the time you are spending on here is in turn making your life worthless and forgettable? This little exchange was fun. You obviously hate everything our band has done post Calculating Infinity. It's alright man. There are other bands to listen to. Lets flip it and talk about the impact the album you made has had. Oh wait.

KoreanKibbles: Will you ever tour with Psyopus?

Perhaps, we've played together before.

KoreanKibbles: Do any of you ever listen to Philip Glass?

Yeah, I like a lot that he's done, particularly Glassworks and the Candyman Soundtrack, but I think I am the only one.

mydixiewrecked: What exercises/rudiments does the drummer due to warm up?

It's non-stop man. He hardly ever stops playing. It's ridiculous honestly. He has his practice pad and sticks with him at literally all times, or he will do the rudiments at an insanely high speed on the lid of a fucking water bottle, which is insane.

mydixiewrecked: If you could kill anyone, would it be?

I don't have anyone premeditated offhand. It would probably be wasted in a spur of the moment killing like someone in traffic or something, or the redneck neighbor of mine that insists on mowing his lawn at 8am like three times a week. Die neighbor.

xmh: Do you remember the Garbage Pail Kids movie?

Of course!

didITbykillingyou: What's up with CD cover art/who picked it?

We all decided on it. It was done by our friend Brian Montouri.

didITbykillingyou: Did you hook up with any of the nurses from the Unretrofied video?

No, I didn't.

2scene4u: Are there any pics of said dressing up as MCR?

I haven't seen any.

RobertRedford: Will you come back to the Chameleon Club in Lancaster even though security was a bitch? Great show by the way! It was great to see you guys on a smaller stage!

They probably won't let us come back. The owners pretty much told me that I was never welcome there again. I had nine security guards circled around me trying to fight me outside of that show. They were so strict there. Not really necessary at all. They were the biggest dickhead security guards of all time. Thanks for coming though! Hopefully you can see us when we play in Philly.

Cory: How come you don't play "Wish" more often? You obviously still love NIN.

We have enough original songs to play right now and have a hard enough time deciding between which ones to play. We don't really have enough space in our set right now for a cover. We'll think of a new good one when the time is right.

Cory: Is your music in any way actually based on math or is that just a bullshit moniker that the music media made up? Is there a differential equation that somehow dictates time changes and chord progressions? If so, what is it? If not, do you think this is possible? In the future will this be how all music is made? Will robots take over the music industry and will their light show be aimed right at the eye level of their human fans like yours is?

Hahahah we really tried for so long to make our light show as uncomfortable to look at as possible, but we realized that it was too much when we started noticing people turning around while we were playing, telling us it made them nauseaus and so forth. Now I guess we can just settle for it being complementary haha. That math shit is all bullshit. We hate the whole thing. Math-rock, math-metal, it's all bullshit. You can break any style of music down into mathematical things like time signatures. It's a sad time when just because people can play their instruments and are doing something creative with that ability that they are considered "math" music.

steve_cannae: Have you ever been on tour and made someone in another band you were on tour with shit their pants? I wanna know if we're the only one.

HAHAHA, no I don't think so. You have an exclusivity, my friend.

TTU: Why was Dmitri really kicked out the band? He needs to make an appearance again I'm thinking.

It was a mutual decision. There is enough about that for you to read somewhere I assume and I am the wrong person to ask. He makes appearances at the New Orleans Steakhouse in Woodbridge New Jersey. Go there and stalk him. Everyone is there from time to time and our old manager owns it. Dimitri is there alot though, drinking and eating crab legs.

blackpower: Guitar solo VS Werewolf. Who would win?

Who is playing the solo? If it's a werebear, then the wearbear wins, Altered Beast style.

biohazardfiend: What are your current favorite music releases?

I haven't really been playing anything new a lot. The last things I got that I really liked were the new Fiona Apple record and the Team Sleep record.

biohazardfiend: Any chance of you and Patton together on a song in the future?

Doubtful, but I guess you never really know. I doubt it though.

john_doe: Do you ever get tired of the stage 'antics' (breaking amps, boxes, throwing shit, lighting fire), or are they just a consistently honest reaction from performing live? Do you feel that new fans identify you as 'the band that fire-breathes' or 'the singer that shit on stage' or 'the band that breaks stuff?' What were you thinking when you jumped off the Jones Beach stage into the water?

They are an honest reaction when they happen, it's not some kind of gimmick. You do what you feel like doing when the music makes you feel like doing it. We are excited by this music even when crowds aren't into us. I definitely am wary of being in the position where people expect that out of you but we have brought it on ourselves. I would love to play a whole show where we all sit in rocking chairs or something or on stools just so that people that come just to see me throw a cymbal or spit fire can be bummed out. I'd like to think our ability to play these songs is also important, but I understand. We talked about all this recently and when the day comes that the music doesn't make us want to perform the way we do now we will more than likely just stop performing and just write records. Sometimes before we play I think to myself "this sucks, half these people are here just to see us jump around like monkeys and break things and be completely out of control, but I don't really feel like doing that right now," and then the second we start playing, the music almost always makes me do all that, haha. The Jones Beach water thing just happened. I don't really even remember consciously thinking about it, I was just all of a sudden in the water, and it was like being in the fucking Star Wars trash compactor.

Cory: Did you realize that when you set your shit on fire at Hellfest 2k2, you started a chain of events that ruined the sound for the rest of the weekend?

No, I actually didn't realize that. Sound dudes were pretty pissed about that though. That was the best Hellfest we played though in my opinion.

scared_to_death: What do you think about New Jersey as a state? Most people on Lambgoat seem to hate my location!

It's a nice state, I'm not too into the whole idea of one big suburb, which is pretty much what New Jersey is, and the not whole "not being able to make lefts" sucks, but it is an overall pleasant enough place and there is plenty of 24 hour eating which is great.

scared_to_death: Do you ever listen to your own band on CD in your free time?

I've listened to Miss Machine maybe twice in the past year, and Calculating about the same. Just to brush up on a song we haven't played in a while before a tour or to see how it sounds after not hearing it for so long. I recently listened to Miss Machine after not having heard it all the way through for almost a year and it was good to hear. We are proud of that record and when I listen to it it makes me think of how long it took to write and record and it makes me excited to make a new album, which we are in the early stages of doing, but it also kills me to hear the things I wish I/we would have differently, but there's nothing you can do about that unless you are crazy like Axl Rose and choose to never allow something to be finished.

didITbykillingyou: Oh, and just so you know... you're the one "celebrity" my girlfriend is allowed to bang.

That's pretty weird. You should keep her on a tighter leash, man. Don't ever ever allow that sort of thing. If she even so much as thinks of another guy you should execute her.

The_Legacy_Virus: Are you currently writing with John and Spylacopa, and when can we expect something?

Yeah, the Spylacopa thing is a slow moving and pretty ambiguous project. Due to the amount of time Dillinger takes up in my life right now and due to a recent computer crash that wiped out my non-backed up main hard drive I lost all the Spylacopa shit that I was working on, which really made it hard to start back up on it again. We are gonna get it going though. John has been working really hard and now Chris Hornbrook the drummer from Poison The Well is involved too so I'm sure they have been bouncing ideas back and forth. I am excited about the possibilities of this but just need some time off to spend more quality time on it. It's gonna be a Massive Attack type of vibe I'm gathering, but we're not gonna put anything out that isn't good, I don't care how long it takes.

LEX_LUGER: How is Mike Patton in general? Is he an egotistical asshole because of all the projects he's done, or is he like everyone else?

The times I have met him he is definitely a very quirky and opinionated person, but also very nice and supportive of us. He is a normal guy you can have a conversation with about the Lakers or something like that, but also very eccentric.

killa: How can you guys play perfectly every time if you don't practice?

We do practice, but most of our practice time is spent working on new material. We brush up on the songs we already have maybe once or twice before a tour if we haven't played them in a while, but we all practice individually a great deal. Nobody would show up to practice before the beginning of a tour out of shape. It would be extremely disrespectful to everyone else.

killa: How do I get your size, quickly?

Eat all day. My height? Chop your legs off from the knees down and then attach your feet to the stumps.

youisretarded: You guys obviously had specific intentions when picking Unretrofied as your latest video, considering the song represents barely anything of your actual sound... are you going to deny this?

There really wasn't any point in picking a video that would only be shown in front of the video audience that already knows about us, the Headbangers Ball/Metal Asylum type of audience. They have seen what our crazy stuff is about and already made their decisions. We picked Unretrofied because it allowed us to get in front of people who maybe haven't heard this type of thing before, maybe they'll buy our record, maybe they'll like it. If they buy our album and hate the rest of the songs then obviously we aren't for them. We're not easily pigeonholed and most people don't know how to handle that. You never know though, there might be someone who heard Unretrofied and bought Miss Machine and then from that single action ended up having a whole different world of music unlocked for him/her that he/she didn't even know about before.

Ash: If you could replace one band member with a naked porn star for the rest of the tour, who would it be (both band member replaced, and porn star replacement)?

Oh fuck, I don't know who I would replace, and I am not up on porn star names so I don't know who I would replace him with! Who is that deep throat whore? The one who goes all the way down? Fuck what is her name?! I don't know. I have a girlfriend who I'm sure will read this. I'll be yelled at for answering even this much of this question I'm sure.

nug: How do you feel about the current position that our government is taking in order to subsidize farmers? Is the Brannan Plan more effective, from an economic standpoint, than the Farmer Support Plan it replaced?

What are you talking about? The Brannan Plan hasn't been in existence since Harry Truman tried to get it to pass legislation in the late 1940s. It was defeated almost as soon as it was introduced.

TheScare: I saw you guys at Croc Rock in Pennsylvania with some shitty emo band, you made fun of them for your entire set. I always wanted to tell you how hysterical that was. So thanks for that.

Yeah that was a comical night. That club apparently double booked our night with local band night and then when we got there insisted that both shows be combined. So we ended up having like 8 bands play before us, all little kids and their parents. And then we go on and parents started rushing their kids out the exits. It was a good time.

TheScare: Singing on the new CD, did you take lessons? Will there be more singing on the new CD?

I haven't taken lessons myself but any time we are on tour with someone who has taken lessons they usually recorded them with a minidisc player, and then I take their lessons and warm-ups and put them on my Ipod so I can learn from them too. They have definitely been helpful. I don't know if there will be more singing or not, no songs we have written so far require any, or have made me feel like it would be appropriate to do so.

SwampLord: Any upcoming tours that don't feature shit bands like Horse the Band?

Hahaha, I don't really know anything about them other than that they seem to like Nintendo and they have a keyboard...are they terrible? Every other band on that tour is pretty fucking legit, so hopefully they turn out to be too. We went through a lot of options that weren't possible right now before we arrived at the Dillinger/Hella/ Bronx/BTBAM/Horse lineup, which is definitely still an awesome show. It covers a lot of ground musically. Us and the Bronx have always played great shows together.

EARTH: What song do you find the most difficult to perform live and why?

This is gonna seem weird but Phone Home is the hardest because it takes so much wind. It's pretty much non-stop vocally from the time I come in until the end of the song, and by the time you get midway through the bridge after the second chorus, it's seriously fucking exhausting. There are some hard stamina parts in Good Dogs too.

EARTH: Approximately when do you expect Mr. Benoit to be full recovered and back with the band?

Not until 2006. He is gonna more than likely miss the rest of the touring for this record. We just want him to make sure he is completely recovered so he can come back and not have any problems performing the way he is accustomed to.

Puppies_need_discipline: Do you listen to much grind?

I like Discordance Axis and Agorophobic Nosebleed, if you consider AN grind.

wyldweasil: What happened with Adam Doll and how's he doing these days?

Adam was in a car accident. A fender bender where the car was barely damaged but Adam was leaning forward to get a CD out from under where the car stereo is and because he was in that position when he hit, it caused a separation in his spine literally smaller than the width of a hair and now he is paralyzed from the armpits down and has limited use of his hands. He is in good spirits considering the severity of his accident. We all wish there was something that could be done and I'm sure in time there will be. Not under this Presidential administration though, and slower now that Christopher Reeve died. There isn't much money being put into research now and no big spokesperson to raise awareness. Sucks.

mobab: Do you get in trouble for being a monkey and climbing all over the place at shows? Like in OKC recently?

All the time. We rarely make it through a show without getting some money withheld from us for something. So far on this three week tour we have been banned from three clubs, fined over $3000 dollars for damaged or burnt equipment or breaking fire codes, and countless security people have tried to fight me. It's pretty ordinary at this point. We just expect it now.

chrisd: Are you or anyone else in the band doing stuff on the side as far as music projects go? Will you guys ever be like a Norwegian black metal band where everyone involved is in 37 other bands?

Aside from me and the Spylacopa thing, which is really vague as it is, no not really. Liam is technically in Starkweather (I think? It's not that active of a band), and everyone writes tons of music that we don't use for Dillinger that maybe we can use for video games or movies at some point under a different name, weird electronic stuff.

cactus: Are you going to stop making shit music?

You have a pretty bad-assed plant as a username. You are excused.

sacralplexus: Did you get in any trouble for taking a shit on the stage in Elizabeth, NJ about three years ago?

Yeah, they told us we were never allowed to play there again. Then we did when we played Hellfest '04. Happens all the time. "You'll never play here again!"... then later when they want people to come... "Will you play?" We did get permanently banned from that radio station that put that show on, WSOU or whatever.

din: Most embarrasing sexual experience?

I tried to put this super high intensity numbing cream on my dick so that I wouldn't hurt my girlfriend when I put it in her asshole, but it was so powerful that I lost all feeling in my dick and then just lost the hard on. Super bum out.

marching_band_rules: I know you're rather outspoken about bands you dislike...care to shed some light on some labels you're not too fond of?

Majors who know nothing about music, and now thanks to the Internet and the rise of indie labels and the falling apart of the industry due to file sharing, have no idea how to make money either. Fuck them.

kenwregget: Based on insider sources, who gets more tail, you or Howard Jones? Do you take pride in being less pudgy than him?

I don't know about how much tail he gets, but I have heard that Howard Jones' dick is like a fucking baby's arm holding an apple.

new_york_lesbians: Aren't you glad you agreed to answer a bunch of retarded questions posted by a group of jackoffs?

Sure, haha. It's better than a typical interview. "Where did you come up with the name?" Hey asshole, don't you know I wasn't in the band then? And couldn't you already find that out somewhere else?

new_york_lesbians: Do you know Richard Simmons?

No!

theforeverfight: Do you ever plan on having sex with a woman on stage?

Absolutely nobody wants to see that. And if they did, no anyway.

evilgyro: Do you guys ever feel like you set such a benchmark with Calculating Infinity that you'll never write another album that good?

Nah, we still have alot of things to say musically.

evilgyro: And are you going to reemburse me for setting my gel laden hair on fire (which quickly spread to my sleeveless Misery Signals tee and girls pants) when you blew fire all over me in Portland?

Absolutely not.

new_york_lesbians: If wild emu hunting season were open, would you be for or against it?

Emo hunting season? That would be more like it. A small island, bands like Fall Out Boy, and me with an arsenal. Hunting dudes down like the Predator.

MarginError: Wasn't there supposed to be a live DVD in the contract with Relapse? I'm talking an actual DVD, not random unmastered clips like what came with Miss Machine.

We have two DVDs in our contract and are working on the first one now. We are taking our time because we want it to be a quality release, not just some thrown together collection of random shows. We want shows on it, but we also want some kind of coherent thing, the way the year and a half in a life of Metallica thing was. Something you can just put in and watch without it going back to the menu every five minutes.

Ash: You might not know about this, since it happened when Dimitri was still in the band, but if other guys are around, ask them if they remember Krazyfest '99, when Dimitri's mic flew off the cable and damn near killed my friend when it hit him in the head, then ricocheted and hit two other kids, sending them to the hospital.

Yeah everyone remembers. Apparently he was swinging it by the cable and it flew off at a ridiculous speed. I've heard this story many times. Everyone was really happy to not get sued becuase apparently dude's head pretty much exploded.

chrisd: Does it bother you that tech-scenesters whine and cry about how Miss Machine isn't 40 minutes of straight chaos and br00talness? or do you not give a flying fuck?

Don't care.

timmorseisgay: Where did Penny go to school for his drumness and why doesn't Vader give him free shit?

He went to Berkley but for synthesis not for drumming. He is pretty much self-taught, but he is relentlessly self-taught. He never stops trying to get better. Vader gives him free sticks.

jedidiah: Do you think that singers are always expendable? I mean face it, Dillinger would still be the same without you!

Absolutely not...and no they wouldn't.

oilpoilo: Do you guys sorta just scuffle for fun while on stage, or does it get serious sometimes? I remember Ben storming off stage once because he got pushed to the ground by someone else.

There have been a lot of times when there is definitely a little seriousness involved, where it gets a little uncomfortable feeling. It ends as soon as we get offstage though. Ben stormed offstage at that show if you are referring to Great American in San Francisco because he had a massive concussion prior to playing that show and got six staples in his head literally a few hours before taking the stage, and then while playing got kicked in the head by a stagediver. He just lost it and freaked out, hockey check/plowed Liam off the stage, and then walked off because he needed a break because he thought he was going to pass out from his head being banged up.

heart_means_everything: When are you guys coming back to London, ON cause that last show with the End blew everyone away.

Aren't we coming there in early November? I don't have the dates in front of me and am not online while I'm answering these, but I think we are coming then.

oilpoilo: When you're in San Francisco, I've seen Mike Patton on the side a few times. Why doesnt he come out and do a song with the band anymore?

I don't know...we aren't touring for the Irony release anymore and it's been done now a couple times in San Francisco. No need to keep bringing out the same surprise.

Fraulein: I weigh 185. How far could you throw me?

I don't know.

axl_bundy: You said Slipknot fans were giving DEP a shitty response when you opened for them. Why are you doing shows with them again?

It wasn't the worst reaction ever, we got worse when we played with System Of A Down and when we did this Gigantour thing over the summer. Slipknot kids like Slipknot because it's the craziest thing they have ever heard. They are the kids that like "crazy" shit compared to kids who like Disturbed and Staind and what have you. They have never heard shit like us before. They may like it, and it may open them up to other bands they wouldn't have known about, and then hopefully they'll stop dying their hair blue and wearing size XL shirts and giant wallet chains. We want to expose as many people as possible to what we're doing, even if they hate it. It would suck to think that in ten years some kid that would have liked us never even got the chance to hear us. Not everyone knows where to look. You have to bring it to them sometimes.

thisheartscoma: Greg, what is your favorite Nine Inch Nails Song?

Probably the live version of Terrible Lie.

thisheartscoma: Who is hotter, The Locust or Dillinger Escape Plan? Speaking of that tour, who were the guys in the joke band that opened?

I guess it depends on what you're into, and there wasn't a joke band on that tour.

topsecret: Did you guys have contests with the musicians in Dream Theater and Megadeath to see who could shred harder? If so, Who won?

Those guys are good players. It's funny because there is stuff those guitar players do that we would be like "fuck that's crazy," but then they would think the shit Ben does is crazy. Chris smokes their drummers straight up though. Not a matter of opinion.

emoxfag: What the fuck happened to you guys. I mean... 4 incredible albums then a NIN record. What the fuck?

I don't know man... I don't know. Sorry to let you down, buddy. I really doubt that you can imagine NIN playing 90% of the shit we play though.

tony: How many members of the band are vegan/vegetarian? I know three of you ate at the vegetarian restaurant my wife worked at a few years ago here in Atlanta. You guys were on tour with Darkest Hour and were nice enough to put her +1 on the guestlist for the show. So thank you.

Liam is the only one (he is vegan), the rest of us are pretty solid meat eaters. You are welcome about the guestlist.

tony: What is your favorite episode of the Simpsons?

I don't know them all, the Tomacco episode was pretty awesome though.

frenetic_amnesic: Now that you guys have gotten a bigger fanbase over the past few years, do you prefer playing larger shows (a la Gigantour) or smaller club shows?

Smaller and medium sized by far. Anywhere from 300 to 1000 capacity are the most fun.

DrinkinOxyge: Thanks for always coming back to the Philly/NJ area and playing small venue shows for all of us old fans. We really appreciate it. Doesn't it feel good to be doing what you do and making good music that you care about, and to actually be successful at it, despite the fact that jealous idiots will always try to bash you for it?

We love that area and feel a very strong connection to it, Philadelphia, Baltimore, New Jersey, New York....they are where we are from. We will never stop playing shows at places like the Church in Philly or the Ottobar in Baltimore. As for the second part of your post, it does feel good. We really put everything we have mentally, emotionally, and financially into this band, as well as almost all of our time. It means a lot to us and we are very fortunate to be able to be doing what we love the most and actually affecting other people with it as well, realizing other people enjoy it and can relate to it.

agent_friday: I was curious as to how you write songs. Is there a certain formula that works for you guys? Does everyone have equal input? Or is there one or two core songwriters?

Ben and Chris write the bulk of the music, they start with either riffs and guitar parts or crazy rhythms or patterns that Chris comes up with. The rest of us contribute a little music, but they are the bulk. Brian comes up with a lot of coloring and shading type of things, and Liam of course the basslines. Liam always says that Ben and Chris build the house and the rest of us are interior decorators...that's pretty accurate. Vocally I write everything. Anything goes really. There isn't a real pattern we write in. Ideas can come from anywhere. We do have some tricks that we use to get new ideas or to get us to think differently that I don't really want to reveal though, because then other people will start mining those same things.

xTheseBrokenArmsx: Your thoughts on Ion Dissonance?

I don't know much about them. I don't really listen to much music that is considered "tech." I just don't really care for it nine times out of ten.

slothpiece: I was just talking to Zach and Todd from Team Sleep and they said something about doing a little something with you. Any idea what the sound of that material would be like?

I have no idea but yeah me and Chino have respect for one another and we are about to tour with Zach's band, Hella, so I'm sure something will probably come about. I would be very excited. I really like a lot of shoegazery shit like My Bloody Valentine, Slowdive, Ride, things like that, which Team Sleep seems to be into as well. It will be cool if it happens.

die_die_die: What color thongs do you wear on stage; do they ever pop out a little when you're "moshing" up there?

I wear the ones that your momma left at my place. OH! The "your mom" thing seriously is always a classic.

Hooker: Watcha benchin these days?

I don't bench anymore, I get nothing out of that exercise.

Hooker: Are you a fan of Reb Beach's guitar playing?

Reb Beach is a fucking monster. He was playing with the Whitesnake touring band and we saw them play last November and he was just ridiculous. Such a good player. The solo in the Winger "Seventeen" song is completely out of hand.

sweetZOMBIEjesus: What do you squat?

There's a real exercise. 450 highest. Not anymore I imagine. That was like maybe in the fall of 2003. We've been on tour so much since then that I'm sure 315 would feel like a ton.

ryu_vs_ken: Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn, or Army of Darkness?

Army of Darkness man! The real question is the one posed by your name! Ryu or Ken? I used Ryu for so long, seriously from like 1992 til like last year, when I then switched to Ken, and I honestly think I like him better. That slight speed advantage and the wider dragon punch make all the difference. There's a guy named Biggie on the west coast that if he reads this...stop running from the showdown.

THETURNON: what do you think of Montreal and French Canadians?

We always have great shows there. It's a good place. Speak english though. The whole refusal to speak English thing when you live in North fucking America is absurd.

say10: Do you know martial arts?

A little. Enough. I can't believe your question wasn't about how terrible we are now. I like you though. You are my favorite. So mad. So much obvious hatred behind your first two questions. I don't even care that you apparently hate us now, it's actually kind of awesome.

eaglesbecomevultures: Iron Maiden or Judas Priest?

I'm not a fan of either.

hall_of_wax: Awhile back there was a Suicide Girl who said her sexual fantasy was (direct quote) "to have all the guys from Dillinger Escape Plan jack off on my face at the same time." Was this ever an official offer brought to the members of D.E.P.?

No?! Ben says he knows of this though.

carexinxslaughter: How do you guys take showers on tour... stop at some dudes house and ask?

I don't really. Not a lot at least. I've gone 19 days. Some clubs have them, or truck stops. As long as you dry off and change socks and underwear everyday and wear deoderant you can go an absurd amount of time without showering. Great idea though! We should just start rolling up to random houses and seeing how many of them would let us shower.

redandblackink: How do you explain what you do (the music you play, the stage show, etc.) to elderly members of your family? I'm wondering if they just know that you play in a rock and roll band, or if they know exactly what you do.

They just know it's a rock band and we leave it at that. They are too old to see us play, and their hearts would probably freeze and never restart if they ever heard it. They just think it's like Ozzy or something. They're just like "oh, we know about hard rock...like that ozzy character or Alice Cooper, we went through that with your father." Ok grandma.

redandblackink: What question do you wish you would never have to hear again?

"What was it like working with Mike Patton?" I didn't work with him dumbass. Or "Where is Mike Patton?", like we cart him around in the back of the bus or van so he can hop out and chirp and squeak over one song in our set. Or something along the lines of "being the new singer." I've been in the band for over four years and longer than Dimitri at this point. Those questions rarely happen now though. It's been long enough.

simmia: How big are your pythons? Mine are 14.5 inches... impressed?

I don't know, man haha. Pythons? So amazing.

34t4v461n4: What is your politcal stance? How do you feel about the situation in Iraq?

I don't feel the need to declare Republican or Democrat. Better to be an independent than to just support a party blindly. I am definitely more liberal than conservative but yeah, no need to lock into it. I definitely feel that it was a mistake going into Iraq but there is no easy way out now. Do we swallow our pride and admit the mistake and back out leaving them to sort themselves out like Vietnam, after we have ripped their country to shit? Or do we stay there and insist we are riding the whole thing out regardless of losses? It's a tough call. A lot of countries are going to pass us in a lot of other areas because of the amount of resources we have concentrated in that area right now.

TimThesillyJew: Did you ever listen to Indecision? If so, would you rather cover "Purgatory" or "Hallowed Be Thy Name"?

No, never listened to them.

din: Does Dillinger get any cute groupie chicks? Or just d00ds?

It's a lot of dudes. Not many chicks. Sometimes, but rarely. We aren't Motley Crue. The girls that are super into us though are always fucking crazy. Like super stalker crazy. There are however some casual/normal girl fans that aren't heinous. They rarely talk to us though, and we don't go searching through the crowd or surfing through Myspace trying to find chicks in the area that are into our band though like some bands do. Pretty lame.

InvalidSacrifice: Vodka or Gin?

I don't drink.

ese_bauber: What is your favorite brand of scotch to drink?

See above. But if this is some kind of reference to Anchorman...funny movie.

timmytimmylowlow: Is The Ape really your nickname?

Yeah, it was given to me by Aaron of Icarus Line/NIN and Brian Benoit.

Fenton_D_Daxter_the_IV: How aware has the band been of the "I still haev respect" copy-and-paste and how often do you hear people say this IRL?

What?

carlthetruth: Do you think Cadillac Williams is the best running back in the NFL? Would you like to see John Gruden with his shirt off? Will I get AIDS anytime soon?

I have no idea who those people are...and about the AIDS, probably not. It's pretty hard to get if you're a dude. Don't believe the AIDS hype. Shit is like getting struck by lightning unless you get some HIV-ish blood in you.

vinny_berbiglia: If you had to pick only one of each (kill fuck or marry) any one of the following who would get what: Gordon Conrad? Matt Jacobson? Tom (your old manager)?

Tom is one of my best friends in the world. He taught me that throwing full barrels of trash out the door onto the highway was ok, and in fact keeping people employed, and by not doing it you are costing people their jobs and keeping prisoners from not having things to do. He is full of bits of twisted wisdom you are at first appalled by but then somehow make sense. We have a lot of amazing stories together. Tom spent three years of his life running around trying to explain my actions to promoters, keep us from not getting paid, keep me from getting kicked out of England, etc, all for basically nothing. Thanks Tom. I wouldn't kill, fuck, or marry any of those three though. Fuck it. I'd marry Tom. He'll be rich soon. He owns a restaurant. I'd marry him and then divorce and take half.

Kevl: At the Saratoga Winners show (10/6/05), why did you not risk your safety along with the crowd's and jump off the little rafter thing? You looked to be contemplating it, and common sense took over!

That thing was fucking high man. People would have ran to save their necks from being broken, like I would if I were them, and then I would have probably broken my neck or something. Not that it matters. You're right. I should have followed through. Fuck that! You would not have done it either. Shit was high.

likewoa: Do you think Will Smith lost it after "Willenium"?

Will Smith is a clown, but I have to say that Hitch movie was funny, but more because of the fat white dude. A fat white dude is a guaranteed laugh, but they all die. Will Smith is super annoying though. Not a fan. Never been a fan.

jedstylesux: Why the hell is Unearth headlining?

They sold a few more records than us, and even though that doesn't really equate evenly to crowd draw, we agreed for them to play last, even though it is supposed to be billed as co-headlining. We have equal playing time and equal billing in most clubs. It works out good for us because we play to the most people every night.

likewoa: Biggest animal you've hit in your car?

A dog. Actually four at the same time. It was raining hard and they all ran out in front of me, strays, and my brakes locked and I hydroplaned and slid into them. They all limped away. None of them died on the spot. It sucked man, I felt like shit even though there was nothing I could do. I almost beat that by nearly hitting a homeless crackhead once who literally ran out in front of me like a zombie from 28 Days Later. I stopped just short of him and he fell down anyway in front of the car, which sucked because I couldn't see him anymore and was half expecting him to just pop up next to the driver's side window and scare the shit out of me. He just got up and literally kept walking like nothing happened. Lots of cracked out bums in Baltimore.

andrewwar: Any new material to be recorded soon?

We do have new stuff but aren't going to record it until we have the whole album ready.

sndwch78: Is it true you guys are the only Relapse band that gets royalties? How did you pull this off?

We don't get royalties. We're still trying to figure out how to pull that off.

portslob: Do you think you could survive the bird flu pandemic?

I would find a way. I'm not going out like that. Not a chance. If I were about to die of bird flu I would definitely go try to fight a lion or something.

xfathersgunx: You guys recently played Santa Cruz, Ca. First off I'd like to apologize for all the human garbage that swarms the down town area... Where did you guys dine? There really is some excellent food here. What did you think of the crowd... primarily garbage people?

I don't think that we ate out that night. I wish I would have known there was ass kicking food though. I don't know if they were garbage people or not man, but I am now officially into the term "garbage people" haha. I don't really remember. That's the show where the kid claimed his head caught on fire though.

ChemicallyImbalancedSloth: Slipknot/Unearth/As I Lay Dying. Thoughts?

We are actually on that tour right now. As I Lay Dying replaces us in 4 days. I don't care. I don't listen to any of these bands. I answered the Slipknot question earlier. We will take our music to everyone who will hear it. It's a good opportunity to confuse a massive amount of people.

butlerianjihad: When you go off stage would you mind playing the end theme from the Incredible Hulk TV show starring Bill Bixby, because you remind me of Lou Ferrigno? Could you also pretend to hitchhike the whole dramatic time?

Me and Ben were dying at this. Because that song is so fucking sad and it makes you feel so bad for him. We may actually do this. This question ruled. I remind you of a six foot tall monstrous deaf dude? Awesome. We are all actually laughing out loud at this prospect. I am gonna find that fucking song and download it as soon as I can.

Cory: Do you guys actually get groupies? I've always wondered if there were girls who waited around to have sex with Headbangers Ball bands.

I kinda answered this earlier...actually not kinda, I did answer this earlier! No. Just weird dudes who show up with handlebar mustaches who will try to pay you a hundred dollars and let you shave their head and write on it if you let them hear a new demo. This actually happened. I think we wrote "I'm an asshole" on his head and I can't remember what song we played him. It was like three years ago. We just get weird obsessed lurker dudes who creep around asking us whether Mike Patton has a pet fetus or "is it true you surfed a flaming guitar cabinet down the Ohio River?", or "what do you think of the significance of the shitloidian scale when it's played in this time signature?" Weirdos. However there are definitely girls in the crowd sometimes you can tell are scene whores and would probably "bang"... girls that stand in the front in skimpy clothes and whore paint that obviously know nothing of ours, no words, no parts, but I could give a fuck and I think they are all horrified of me anyway. They start off in the front of the crowd trying to wink at you and smile and then when a bottle explodes in front of them or a headstock narrowly misses their heads they leave and are never seen again.

deathinthewilderness: With respect to your live shows, how important is consistency in terms of vocals, is there a conscious effort to replicate the records (vocally) or is every show a chance to try something new?

I definitely keep the vocals where they are supposed to be, but yeah, I try to bring them more to life live. After you play songs so many times you start to do different things just to keep the songs alive and fresh to you.

deathinthewilderness: Also, in terms of vocals, would you say you concentrate more on the lyrical sphere or more on the vocals as the "fourth" instrument (i.e. Tool, Meshuggah)?

I used to always concentrate more on the sound of the vocals, as an instrument, and I still think that the sound is more important, because that is what you are hearing all the time regardless of whether you are reading along or whether you are consciously paying attention to the music. The way a word sounds can mean just as much as what it actually means, and can hold just as much weight. Lyrics are important though. It should make you feel something when you hear them or read them. It's just I think that the sound of them is more important. When the sound of the word and it's meaning both carry the same feeling, that's the perfect fit. That's the real challenge when writing lyrics.

jerseyislame: Do you think you guys are "rock stars" now?

No way.

jedstylesux: Don't you get mad when you see the rapper The Game is getting ready to start his own record label when he had one stupid song?

At least he is admitting he can't bank on staying rich off of his musical ability for long.

xfathersgunx: When you guys tour through California, do you stop at every In and Out burger that you see? Do you know the secrets of In and out? Ask for your burger 'animal style' and they put grilled onions and special sauce on it... few know that you can do this with your french fries too.

We do stop at every one we see, and no we were not aware of the secrets. I am fascinated by this revelation though.

Dimitri_from_Paris: You guys are considered to have slight death metal influences in your sound. Would you say that you are inspired by death metal at all? If so, what death metal bands do you or the guys in Dillinger dig?

Me and Chris and Liam loved Death, particularly Human through Symbolic. Also Malevolent Creation, Suffocation, Cynic (Sean Reinert had a big influence on Chris' playing, Paul Masvidal on Ben's), Believer, and Atheist...and Six Feet Under for total comedic value. You have to hear Graveyard Classics. It's an album of covers sung by dude from Cannibal Corpse. When he bellows out "Purple Haze" it's seriously fucking tear inducingly funny.

commishgord: At the Rochester show, you made a pretty hilarious shot at Slipknot, saying something along the lines of "We've got to play with those guys soon." Did said show happen yet? And on a related note, how do you act/feel when touring with a particularly terrible band? Such as Trivium?

The Slipknot thing wasn't so much directed at them as it was directed at the obvious hilarity of us playing to their crowd. We played with them today, and I made fun of people wearing masks and halloween makeup, and Slipknot was watching. It's all in fun. They have a lot of respect for us, and like them or not it's crazy that they sold that many records sounding like that, and it is a definite spectacle when you see them play. I'm not a fan of their music, but they are all extremely nice guys and very legit fans of our band. As for Trivium, they're just kids man. They didn't even talk to us the whole time. I'm sure they were just trying to make sure they were taken seriously since they are all so young, but whatever. I'm not a fan of their band, but yeah, the president of Roadrunner asked us really nicely if we would take them on a couple dates, they played first as doors were opening, no big deal. I know I have a big mouth and usually let it rip but I'm gonna hold back on this one. It's hard to talk too much shit about them. They're just kids, and it's not like they were assholes, they were just super green and just didn't really say much and I don't like their music. Not really offensive to me at all. Not worthy of getting verbally ambushed.

john_doe: Do you think Green Day was truly deserving of its Grammy, or was it just because all of Hollywood and the music industry have heavy anti-America/George Bush sentiments, which Green Day conveniently coincided with the release of their CD and thus made it popular?

Yeah, I think that the anti-Bush thing had a lot to do with it. It's so fashionable and trendy to hate Bush and be outspoken about it, but it's so inoffensive now that there's nothing punk rock about it. It's almost more punk rock to be a musician who says he likes Bush. I don't think Bush is good by any means, but that's such an obvious fact that it's like thinking you are being ballsy by saying Limp Bizkit sucks. We know, dudes, we get it. It's not really a big deal when you take aim at obvious and easy targets. If they had balls they would talk shit about MTV but that's where their money comes from so of course they wouldn't. I mean come on...a Grammy? For American Idiot and whatever that Dawson's Creek sounding song is they have out now? Their sudden hard political vibe is a fucking joke. Acting like they are Rage Against The Machine circa 1993 or something. They played the industry and tons of kids though and won, and I will probably work at McDonalds in ten years and be hearing their songs over the PA, so whatever.

midget_knife_fight: Did somebody teach you to blow fire, if so who?

No. It's not terribly hard if you practice a little. But the shit you put in your mouth will cause gum cancer eventually, so I am already probably fucked.

throwthegoat: Are you coming to Nashville any time soon? Oh yeah, I heard that you once caught a guitar to the eyebrow and almost lost it. Is this true?

We were just in Nashville! Literally a couple of weeks ago. Yeah I got my eyebrow lifted off by Brian's guitar in Canada once and it was literally hanging on by a thread, like a dangling caterpillar. Totally disgusting. I didn't have insurance and didn't have time to sit in the emergency room anyway because we would have missed the next night's show so I just poured super glue in the cut and pressed the eyebrow back on and put band aids all over it and it worked!

Warrmageddon: what bands do you guys play with that you actually like?

Um...The Locust was awesome, ETID and Poison the Well are great at what they do, Zao and A Life Once Lost are both great at what they are doing....not bands that I particularly listen to a lot, but bands that I respect and think are good at what they do. We played with a Japanese band called Mono before and that was amazing, I really like them, although hearing them on CD is no comparison to seeing them. Melt Banana in Japan was great. I like a lot of people we've gotten to play with in the past like Converge and Mastodon. A lot of bands at European festivals like the Pixies, Meshuggah, I mean fuck we've played festivals with the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and George Clinton and DJ Shadow. Whether we actually like the bands or not we always try to make sure we are playing with bands who are credible and respectable and diverse, so we don't become affiliated with garbage and so we aren't pigeonholed into a certain scene. By doing that we've created a credibility for ourselves and consequently the ability to play with a lot of different types of bands that other bands that come from the scene we come from couldn't play with.

vegans_taste_good: Which label do you think is most consistent with putting out quality CD after quality CD? Relapse does not count.

I don't really think there is any one label that puts out nothing but good CDs. I can't imagine liking every single thing a label puts out. Jade Tree is pretty reliable. Death Row?

hangthedj: what do you think of the Cure? What do you think of the Smiths?

Some great songs, not into all of it. The songs that are good though in both cases are really good.

thetruth: How does it feel to forever be in the shadow of Dimitri?

I'm not. Two thirds of our audience now was formed post 2001. It's almost 2006 now. I don't feel that expectation at all anymore.

rat: What cities do you absolutely refuse to play in?

None.

rat: What do you guys do between shows on tour?

Sit on laptops like total dorks. Talk on the phone. Work on music. Read. Play video games. Eat. Workout. Find hilarious ways to amuse ourselves. Like fucking with people that don't realize they are being fucked with, trying to steal absurd things from truck stops like 4 foot tall framed posters of bears and eagles, typical shit. Wait, wrong answer. Bro, we lay pole and snort blow and get fucking wasted and get into fights nonstop! I wake up every day and kick a different ho out of bed than the night before! And she is in a different city than I got her in! Rock and roll brah!

jebus: How awesome is that curly headed kid that knows all the songs on your So. Cal dates?

Pretty awesome.

jebus: While playing Marvel vs. Capcom 2, do you prefer to play sprite characters (Wolverine, Spiderman, etc.) or slower characters (Zangeif, Blackheart, etc.)?

Fuck those large oafish characters, it's all about the sprites. I will wreck most people with ryu and spiderman. Hadouken!

crestfallenphoto: Will you guys play my basement in Boston? If so, what do you dudes want for dinner?

Sure. As for dinner? Just cook like fifty hamburgers and hot dogs and make sure there are plenty of all types of condiments, and a trough of ice cream and gallons of whole milk.

bigscarymonster: First off, I think you're awesome as hell. Secondly, being that your vocals in DEP are so much more appropriately executed than Dmitri's were (i.e. you sing on tempo), does it take you forever to fit everything in? It must be a pain to memorize the structure of the song and to judge where to add vocals.

Thank you. Yeah, it takes forever to memorize the music, it sounds a lot crazier before the vocals are there. Vocals make it easier to remember. Once the vocals come it helps anchor everything. But yeah, it is hard to memorize the structures, but then deciding on phrasing and where to scream and what's appropriate is even harder. It can take days worth of hours just to get one fifteen second part to where I want it. Very frustrating and time consuming, but in the end very gratifying.

Dooder: Did you enjoy the pizza I gave you backstage in Detroit a while back? Can you really smell whores?

Yeah....and can't we all?

UrkelBot: Do you enjoy your soup in a bread bowl or just in a regular bowl?

I have honestly never had soup in a bread bowl believe it or not. I'm pretty low budget. I just eat it microwaved or straight out of the pot. Soup is an awesome concept though. Just tossing everything in a pot and cooking it - plants, animal parts, rocks, shit, whatever you find. Stew, soup, whatever it's called, it's awesome. Ben just walked by and mentioned that I'm missing out and really need to get into the whole bread bowl thing.

UrkelBot: How do you feel about your songs being put on soundtracks (Underworld) and such?

Well, when we heard the Underworld soundtrack was being put together they already had people like Maynard Keenan and Nine Inch Nails and David Bowie involved, so we were obviously stoked and agreed. Then the soundtrack ended up not being finished by the person who started it and the final tracklisting had shit like Trust Company on it. And then the movie sucked. Actually, I never even saw it, but Werewolves fighting Vampires should in theory be impossible to fuck up, but I heard enough bad reviews so that I didn't care anymore. I'm sure I'll see it someday. Oh well. Wasn't a loss or a win. Just a whatever. Some kids heard us because of that and got into us though, so I guess it was good? We thought maybe some crazy gothic gash would start showing up at shows but that didn't really pan out.

ohiogrinder: Is God real?

I don't know. I don't think so in the Western omnipotent being sense of the word, the paternal figure. Who knows. Who cares? It's kind of a pointless quest. Nobody will know anything until we are dead, and then unfortunately once we know, we will never be able to tell anyone.

SETHDLH: I heard from someone I know, that knows you, that you enjoy picnics. Is their truth to this?

I honestly don't think I have ever been on a picnic in my entire life, which sucks, because the concept rules. Sitting in the forest stuffing yourself with cold chicken? I'm gonna go ahead and vote awesome.

XOmeletX: Why on earth hasn't Zao broken up yet?

The power of Christ compels them. Seriously though, I don't think they should at all. Dan's voice is one of the most ripped off in all of "the scene," especially young bands I hear. They need to just put out a great album and get everyone healthy and keep playing.

FudgeYourYankeeBlueJeans: I saw you guys recently in Norfolk, Virginia. You were climbing around the amps like you were gonna jump off. The only person to ever jump from there or the balcony was the lead singer of Taproot. How does it make you feel to know that hes tougher than you? P.S. Thanks for playing Mullet Burden.

You went to see Taproot? Take off two points. You are bros with dudes who paid to see Taproot? Take off one point. You are welcome for playing Mullet Burden. We'll always play it. That is one of the songs we'll never not play.

StreetForce: When you played at Vintage Vinyl in NJ, you jumped up onto and ran around on top of the CD bins. Did they charge you for anything you broke?

Yeah. It was a couple hundred dollars in broken CDs I think. Whatever. Who cares. We're never gonna be rich from this anyway.

viva_las_alaska: Ever thought of destroying in Anchorage, AK sometime, I make real good money and could probably pay the expences to get you dudes and equiptment up here! I got about a dozen of my fiance's hot friends that would totally fuck you dudes? This is not a joke.

It would be awesome to go up there, but yeah, the expenses of getting there are too high to make it worth it. But make good on your offer and get us up there. Get us there for free, we don't care about getting paid, we just wanna come and fuck shit up with wolves and ice sloths and eskimos. Eskimos. Like indians, but north. Cold fat indians. Various members are pretty curious about the fiance's friends.

sXe_is_dumb: Where can we hear your "audition" recording for DEP?

I have it on a cassette tape somewhere, if the tape still exists. I think it's at the bottom of a cardboard box full of other unmarked cassette tapes. I'll find it sometime.

onemanfistfight: Warped Tour 2005 - Buffalo, NY - Do you remember yelling and the security guard and calling him a "dumbass fat fuck"? I do. What was that all about?

I don't remember that...that was when it was pouring down rain right? I can't remember now. That shit happens all the time. "Fat fuck" is a great insult to anyone who is even remotely overweight because chances are they have a complex about it. I'm sure he was either being an asshole to a kid in the crowd or something like that or yelling at me because I may have grazed him with a piece of equipment of something. Those dudes are all so ready to fight. They get all puffed up and ready to beat up little kids but then they always turn around and shit their pants when monitors and drums and shit are falling past their heads. Not all of those guys are douchebags, but a lot of them are. Who applies for that job? Assholes that want to have an excuse to rough people up. Well, I have an excuse for random objects that may happen to hit them, and then they don't know what to do, especially when they realize that I would kick most of their asses.

Thanks a lot to everyone for taking the time to make comments or ask questions, regardless of what they were. This was fun to do and now because this was like forty pages long I don't ever have to do another interview again. I'm just gonna refer all interviewers to this URL. Hopefully we'll see some of you on tour.