Enabler frontman accused of physical, sexual abuse

"It was a painful writting process." Why, because you had to remember all those other holes you put your dick into and know it finally closed off the opening to your favorite one? Because you had to remember what it was like to see the person giving you shelter and feeding you laid out from the concussion you just gave them from hitting them over the head with about twenty pounds of vinyl? Because you remember how awkward it was when our drummer started asking questions about where the giant bruises on my thighs came from during the summer time? Are some of those things painful to recall?

"I implore you all to read her testimony, one of years of physical abuse by Jeff, one that I can tell you for a fact is not hearsay. The first tour I went on with Enabler, I had to drag Jeff out of a club in Brooklyn because he slapped Amanda in the face over an argument they had over an incident they had the night before in Lowell, MA that ended in Jeff throwing a temper tantrum and punching out the windshield, throwing everyone personal bags (including mine) out of the van, kicking the tail light out of the van, and taking a huge shard of it and trying to cut his wrists in the venue parking lot. One of the last moments I had with Enabler, we were on the highway coming back from Winnipeg, and a very heated argument ensued between her and Jeff over an argument that was on going from the night before. Enabler's then drummer, Ryan, was driving, with Jeff in the front, and Amanda and I in the backseat, and at some point, the argument set Jeff off in an explosive way. I had to pull him off of her after he flew into the back and started trying to choke her out, Ryan unable to pull the van over. As soon as I thought he calmed down, I let him go to head to the back seat, but he instead jumped him and started full on wailing her in the face and body, again having to pull him off of her. We were all in a horrible position where we could have died that day. We were all forced to have to act in a way where we made Jeff feel comfortable, because we were scared of ending up dead. Cooler heads hardly prevailed. Everyone quit their jobs in Enabler after that tour."

"Let me start by saying, I do not condone physical violence of any kind to any living thing, period. I do not condone rape whatsoever. Anyone who is aware of anything of that nature going on, I urge you to remove yourself from the situation immediately and contact the authorities if need be. "Secondly, to anyone who would deal with things by starting a witchhunt online rather than deal with them at the source or take it directly to the authorities - you are absolutely in the wrong. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, and in today's climate it's very easy to believe everything you read on the internet without knowing exactly what happened between two people. "The last thing I want is to drag anyone's name through the dirt. I've read through Amanda's post many times, and it's pretty contradictory of itself. The thing I want to know is if I was truly abusing her and I truly did rape her in the manner that I'm accused of, why did she beg to stay in the band when she had been asked to leave multiple times? Why weren't the authorities involved? Why come out now when the new album is to be released in less than a month? And why the hell bring up songwriting credits in a post that is accusing someone of rape? "I thought that both of us had moved on with our lives, me continuing my work with the band, and her starting a new life with someone she met while on the road with the band and moving onto future musical endeavors that are more fitting to her abilities. I guess not. This is a blatant attempt to ruin the band's name, a band that she played in for 3 years and played 200+ shows with. If this was really going on the whole time the way that she portrays it, why would a person put that kind of blood, sweat, and tears into a project with someone that is capable of these things? "Relationships go bad all of the time. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I was in the right all of the time. I was wrong in a number of things I did, for which I have owned up and apologized directly to these people, but the things I am accused of here are not accurate. "As far as Enabler goes, all shows are off as of now and the band is on an indefinite hiatus until this is cleared up. I cannot risk dragging anyone else that I have a close working relationship with into this mess. This is my problem and I am the one who has to deal with it."

JL: "Let me start by saying, I do not condone physical violence of any kind to any living thing, period. I do not condone rape whatsoever. Anyone who is aware of anything of that nature going on, I urge you to remove yourself from the situation immediately and contact the authorities if need be " AD: So you agree, I should have quit a long time ago and you should be in a jail cell? No wonder you have such great self loathing or said things about lyric content being inspired about dwelling in your own personal hell - you have committed these acts which you avidly do not condone. JL: " "Secondly, to anyone who would deal with things by starting a witchhunt online rather than deal with them at the source or take it directly to the authorities - you are absolutely in the wrong. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, and in today's climate it's very easy to believe everything you read on the internet without knowing exactly what happened between two people." AD: I didn't start a witch hunt, you're no magik maker, and no one's hunting for you. If they were, you're pretty easy to find. And don't worry, the authorities will soon hopefully be involved. I'm very sorry I didn't involve them years ago, once again I'm glad that we're in agreement that they should be included. Seeing as you and I are the source, perhaps if you would have dealt with as promised (seeking anger management and therapy) this wouldn't be happening. As far as the internet not knowing what happened between to people - perhaps you shouldn't have started speaking in half truths about it or using it to sell records if you didn't want to be corrected. JL: " "The last thing I want is to drag anyone's name through the dirt. I've read through Amanda's post many times, and it's pretty contradictory of itself. The thing I want to know is if I was truly abusing her and I truly did rape her in the manner that I'm accused of, why did she beg to stay in the band when she had been asked to leave multiple times? Why weren't the authorities involved? Why come out now when the new album is to be released in less than a month? And why the hell bring up songwriting credits in a post that is accusing someone of rape? AD: The last thing you want is your own name dragged through the dirt. What I have said is only contradictory if you twist it, and you are not allowed to do that to my words anymore. You raped me once. Afterwords you kissed me on the cheek, saying "I'm sorry, this is all I have now" while I just laid there crying. It was after a brutal fight, and I was already just laying there in a ball with my knees pulled to my chest. I was mentally drained and in physical pain due to mother nature visiting, it was my time of the month. It was very easy for you to slide my underwear down (I was wearing a skirt) and easy for you to enter, as I was menstruating. the fight was already taken out of me, all i could do was say no over and over. not interested in make up sex, ever. It happened before I knew what you were doing, and thank god it didn't last long. All the other times I consented to your consistent pressure and begging because it was easier to put out and shut up than to deal with the mental and physical torment I would be put through after saying "no". Though you never seemed to mind, even though I made it perfectly clear that I didn't want you and told you over and over again that you made me feel like a whore. You also made it almost impossible for me to have any kind of contact or relationship with another person, you were my only option. I never begged to stay in the band, it was you who begged me, and who continued to offer my spot back to me months after I quit, at the least asking me to do five year" all hail the void" anniversary tours with you. The authorities weren't involved because you repeatedly engaged in and threatened self harm - and whenever I told you that was my next step you would stop. I gave you way too many chances. I came out now because you were using personal pain and suffering to promote your new album and it made me sick. And as for the writing credits, see above. Oh, you also owed me $5,000 dollars, and I wanted that back. JL: " "I thought that both of us had moved on with our lives, me continuing my work with the band, and her starting a new life with someone she met while on the road with the band and moving onto future musical endeavors that are more fitting to her abilities. I guess not. This is a blatant attempt to ruin the band's name, a band that she played in for 3 years and played 200+ shows with. If this was really going on the whole time the way that she portrays it, why would a person put that kind of blood, sweat, and tears into a project with someone that is capable of these things?" AD: I am moving on, but you are wrong if you think life ever magically starts anew. What you have put me through haunts me every single day, and complicates my new relationship, which was something good to come out of me staying in a horrible situation. I have no current musical endeavors, and what the fuck do you mean by "more fitting to my abilities"? This is no way in an attempt to "ruin" you, though that may be a side effect. People don't like supporting people who have done what you did. If you had read my initial post, like you say you did many times, you would recall the two main reasons I stayed. 1, I am a stubborn capricorn who does not give up, and who does not give away that kind of blood, sweat, and tears easily. 2. I always believed that you could better yourself and you could rise out of what you were doing. I went through an absolute personal hell only to be proven a fool. Maybe I'm slightly masochistic, I care more about playing music and pursuing what I love than my own well being. I didn't think I had anything else. JL: "Relationships go bad all of the time. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I was in the right all of the time. I was wrong in a number of things I did, for which I have owned up and apologized directly to these people, but the things I am accused of here are not accurate." AD: Your past apologies aren't shit if you think they were enough and don't continue to feel remorse. I'm not accusing you of anything, I am telling the truth, and it is what it is. JL: "As far as Enabler goes, all shows are off as of now and the band is on an indefinite hiatus until this is cleared up. I cannot risk dragging anyone else that I have a close working relationship with into this mess. This is my problem and I am the one who has to deal with it." AD: There is no one else to drag into a mess, and if you feel that way perhaps you should have been honest with the reasons why you lost your whole band with your new "team" and you wouldn't have to be worrying about any of that. I hope you take the time of your hiatus to seek the help you need, I wish it didn't have to reach such extremes for that to occur.