Wikipedia tells me that there are an estimated 55,000 human deaths annually from rabies worldwide (most in Africa and Asia). I suspect Elstner did a little research online and quickly decided that he shouldn't screw around. Either way, apparently concerned for his well-being, Elstner followed up with health officials and reported the following:
"Rabies Control and CDC people are telling me I need shots, specifically for the reason I imagined: it could've been saliva AND I slept in the same house with it, could've bitten me in my sleep! What?! I wish I was making this shit up. My info and story were just now faxed to the CDC in Atlanta. Whaaaat!?!?"
The following day, Elstner posted the following update:
"So the rabies saga continues... Currently in the emergency room at St. Luke's to start rabies vaccination. Such a long dumb story. Extremely slim odds that I'm at risk, but,... With rabies, you have a short window to get treated, and beyond that, it is incurable and 100% fatal. Having said all that, I feel like I'm getting treated for a unicorn bite. Bunch of nonsense."
Sadly, Elstner passed away four days later. Ok, just kidding, the dude is fine. We're glad he survived. If nothing else, he'll have something to talk about if he ever appears on a talk show.42 comments
Post Commenti guarantee you, especially after hearing about this, that bruce wayne is indeed NOT stoked.
That is incredibly random, well glad he's OK
slut5 minutes ago Cancer Bats/Torche Piss In Your Eye Tour 2012 I would enjoy being at that show and listening to that music.
have fun dealing with the HORRIBLE side effects from the vaccinations in like 15 years.
Bastard factory is unstoked cuz lambgoat released this story first.
shit like this should be in the news fck that crazy mook who shot up his college that was funny but this is fckin hilarious!
Actually, some Pagans believe that being sprayed with bat urine is quite a blessing. In traditional Pagan culture, the bat is heralded as I am so full of shit. Good luck with the rabid eyeball, broseph.
should have peed in that chiodos/asking alexandria/i miss her so much my eyes cry urine for her haircut
a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye a bat urinated in his eye
a better way to do this is to catch and kill the bat and have it tested for rabies instead of getting the treatments. if you dont have insurance theyre like 5000$. something similar happened to me, so i killed the bat and brought it to the health department. this dude is retarded if hes spending all that money for this.
^ that guy doesnt give a shit that some anon dude on lambgoat gave him survival tips. go play with the little thing thats fuzzy down there
This goes to show how music is played by pussies now. Ozzy bites off their heads and this turd gets bit by them.
slut 12 hours ago Cancer Bats/Torche Piss In Your Eye Tour 2012 THIS.
I guess Alice Cooper forgot his Depends that day
HOLY fckING LOL @ cancer bats/torche and sunbat is pissed.
Just die already holy crap Torche your eyes on fire
xbumpx16 hours ago sunbat is pissed. hahaha
anonymous1 day ago This goes to show how music is played by pussies now. Ozzy bites off their heads and this turd gets [pissed on] by them. gold help me.
Sweet baby Jesus this whole thread is gold! Gold damn I didn't mean to blaspheme.
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awesome story.