News•September 26, 2008 11:31 AM ET•4,199 views

The Handshake Murders seek new drummer

The Handshake Murders are losing the services of drummer Jeff King, who is leaving the group "to pursue school and other endeavors." As such, the band is now in search of a full-time replacement. Here's the official word: "We're looking for someone capable of playing most of the material from our full-length 'Usurper'; please send an uploaded video of you playing two out of the three of these songs as TIGHTLY as possible: 1. In The Mouth of Fear / Dissector 2. Bloodline 3. How To Kill "Secondly - we're looking for a few personal aspects: - reliable, easy-going personality - willing to make the move to Fort Smith, AR - has very little personal debt to pay off - doesn't have a creepy/crazy addiction to drugs - doesn't party too hard - drinks alcohol very little or none at all - willing to tour 5-8 months out of the year - willing to work crappy/awesome/crappy jobs between tours when possible, and eventually help with such band finances whenever necessary - technically capable of executing off-time drumming "We are in the middle of our writing process - so consider that this is what most of the band's time will be focussed on. Do note that it will be a considerably different direction than the previous record. If you're interested in becoming a full-time member or have any questions at all, please contact us."

30 comments

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hardware 9/26/2008 8:50:44 AM

I'll do it

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Flamboyant_Cowboy 9/26/2008 9:04:10 AM

I love when bands talk about how different their next record will be, and its still a pile of the same floppy boobs in the same direction.

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withoutashield 9/26/2008 9:16:53 AM

Some of the most fun dudes ever.

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AntArchitect 9/26/2008 9:25:28 AM

you should move Syracuse. I aint got shit to do. lol. Good luck guys!!

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rabedown 9/26/2008 9:25:51 AM

they sound like old a life once lost

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fuckyourxs 9/26/2008 9:33:20 AM

Played with them in CT. Very nice bunch of guys. Sucks to hear they've lost a member.

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Selvin 9/26/2008 9:51:02 AM

good band, good release

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penguinsrock 9/26/2008 10:23:23 AM

Oh my god, I'm an excellent drummer, I should totally move down to fort fck, arkansas and play in this shit band.

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hall_of_wax 9/26/2008 10:41:06 AM

"willing to make the move to Fort Smith, AR"..... GROSS

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Omegaman 9/26/2008 11:04:43 AM

I would jump on this shit, but I have adult responsibilities.

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Woodshatter 9/26/2008 11:08:01 AM

Good guys, won't be hard for em to find a new guy.

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pongo_pigmayis 9/26/2008 11:08:37 AM

i like this band and can play some of their stuff, but ...- willing to make the move to Fort Smith, AR....fcking no way.

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ManTheRamparts 9/26/2008 12:14:53 PM

really good guys. really tight live we I got to do a few dates with them.

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xaepx 9/26/2008 12:46:43 PM

hahahahahaha their guitarist is asian <3

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bigbabyhayzeus 9/26/2008 12:51:13 PM

we reary need a new drummer and some fried rice prease. oh and maybe a protein shake

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2000flushes 9/26/2008 1:28:44 PM

get out of fort smut. good band from a terrible fackin town.

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xperineumx 9/26/2008 1:47:18 PM

Ah, herro!

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stooooopid 9/26/2008 2:37:24 PM

Aaah we no ha no drumma. Sucks fo us! The "personal aspects" they are looking for are wack. Who wants to be in a band that lives in fort smith, AR and not be able to party hard? What else is there to do in AR? Hell if I know.

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eli 9/26/2008 4:46:24 PM

jeff is a cool guy. I used to work with him at jimmy john's.

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chas 9/26/2008 5:04:14 PM

excellent band, excellent people. good luck finding a replacement.

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vannawhitesuckedmydick 9/26/2008 7:08:51 PM

give up. shit band

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severedintwo 9/26/2008 7:50:44 PM

fck gay band doesnt like to party

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fuckyoufirst 9/26/2008 9:16:59 PM

that's a damn shame. heard jeff had a huge dick.

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rat_fink 9/27/2008 12:10:11 AM

i wouldve been a perfect match about 5 years ago. damn you time DAMN YOU

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xjsandsx 9/27/2008 5:43:39 AM

Haha dang, this makes the 3rd round of drummers for this band. Great dudes. One of the requirements should also be, loves to work out in random parking lots and can take the vocalist's chain smoking.

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get__offyourcross 9/27/2008 2:56:09 PM

rabedown 9/26/2008 9:25:51 AM they sound like old a life once lost Robert Meadows does guest vocals on like 2 or 3 tracks off usurper.

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icemonster 9/28/2008 2:34:39 AM

i'd rather die than move to arkansas. too bad, i can play all of your shit c-ck suckers.

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SloppyJoes 9/28/2008 10:08:26 AM

good band, good dudes, sucks for them.

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thetowerofrome 9/30/2008 5:52:49 AM

"One of the requirements should also be, loves to work out in random parking lots and can take the vocalist's chain smoking." hahaha when i saw them with gaza i pulled up and that's exactly what they were doing.

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hang_yourself 10/1/2008 2:28:45 PM

just listen to a life once lost

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