His balls finally dropped and how his barks sound more like Whoops than Woofs

Shut up, bitch.

Stupid mother f*cker.

Dwep Bush league shoe_salesman. Give it up.

I made my bed nice this morning.. then I was taking a shit and I heard my dog come up stairs.. I'm mid log and I hear him jumping the bed, and he starts thrashing it.. I'm yelling no!! But I can't do anything because I'm on the toilet!!! I finally finished and my dog pulled all the covers off the bed and built himself a fort with the pillows, and he was sleeping right in the fort

Your dog hates you.