At All Cost interview

The band as individuals, and as a collective, could always find some silver lining no matter how bad the tours got. Granted, that silver lining was green most of the time, but I always managed to write or make music while "out" that could never be replicated at home, so that was rewarding. In the end, us just being out was far better than working or doing school, so there was always reason to give thanks. But after awhile, that blind optimism just seemed to bottom out, and each tour was just barely worth justifying.

Most of the time, it was because we didn't have another option. Before the majority of those tours even started we knew that it wasn't going to hit like it should, but like I said before, it was either that, or being home, so we always took what we could. In the end, it was our booking agents who tried as hard as they could, but were always coming up empty-handed. "Not enough scans" or some other catch 22 bullshit. Also, we just loved the idea of spearheading what we sought to change, straight at the source, where the battlegrounds were hot. The challenge took it to another level: if you play something different, play it harder, faster, louder than anyone else that night. Prove it to them their way.

Shitty manager making shitty deals with shitty labels. Others were interested, but not enough to put up a contract.

Uhh, sure. I mean we got signed, that obviously must be a good time for a band and its label. They were into us enough to give us some money to make music, but it's novelty quickly diminished. We were part of a massive label, swallowed up with more and more shitty bands. It's funny to think now how we must have sucked, if by association alone.

Always. Truthfully, after every major event that changed that band, I always told myself "this is the last test, just get through this and you're gonna make it." I pieced each step of our history into semi-fictional schema, in which the world or some unknown overlord in a room somewhere was testing us, testing our character, our guts, and our drive. Every time we would rise to the occasion, I always expected to get a phone call saying "you did it, congratulations" and then life would take flight. I guess I'm still waiting. Point being, the things that you go through are what it is that makes you. The hardships that we live are the lessons life gives.

I don't know, there are obviously people out there who bust their ass for bands and really hustle to get them exposure. We had nothing of the sort. Maybe we just had bad luck, but I fucking hate managers - especially ones who don't do shit and still collect a check.

Well for starters, Trey left the band shortly after Circle of Demons came out. He was the brains and hustle of the operation. After he left, there was lack of incentive and direction outside of the music itself. Lack of promotion is another reason and poor choice of tours...there are lots of excuses. Maybe we just took it too far for anyone to still be with it from the It's Time To Decide times.

Let's see...as we began to play hardcore music, there had to be some sort of foundation to build on. By that I mean playing really generic shit. That's why its generic - because everyone starting out needs to learn to walk before they can run. Part of emulating that crossed over into being straight edge. It was never a crew thing or a dogmatic boast, but something that my brother and I found identity in from our parents' alcohol abuse and eventual divorce. I always tolerated others' choices anyways. Eventually, I drank a vodka and red bull the night we were signed to Combat. It was more about a relationship I was going through, but at an important crossroads nevertheless. I never really took to drinking like others and I eventually started smoking grass, which for some reason I still cant find a reason to not do. What followed was a metamorphosis from ignorant hopeful cub, to a wise and skeptical king of the cosmic jungle. That was a dumb analogy.

It's about respect. We took the time to drive hours and hours and go through all kinds of shit to be there at that moment in time, and to have someone write that off with something so trivial as eye-raping a sidekick at a show...well that's just depressing. I'd rather actively flip depression into anger. That way I pour rage unto those heartless souls, feeding them the same bad energy they had given me and thus relieving any hang-ups or regrets of being victimized by their shittiness.

I was outside, in a chair on the lawn, knowing everything I wanted to write about, but needed a way to centralize its idea. I called Mike and said "You know how when we and The JonBenet get together, everything clicks, and no one gives a fuck for all the right reasons. We pillage and drink and rock and just have fun, what is that called?" And he goes, "Blowin shit up dude, Eating Lightning." It made perfect sense. I tried to reinterpret the meaning so as eating was injesting and lightning was the catalyst. For me, its about mushrooms, and mind trips, but the metaphor serves the greater idea.

Hmm. I never really thought about that. I think everyone kind of knew we weren't moving, so no one really knew what we were doing. I just felt like "hiatus" keeps our existence relevant and at the same time describes our absence. Call it what you want, were just taking time to breathe and figure out things after such a long road.

We don't have one, not that I'm aware of. We're outcasts of some sorts, that's for sure. I don't care, quote Refused: "I'd rather be forgotten than remembered for giving in."

Mike joining Darkest Hour is amazing for everyone, but it does put a hinder on any steps we might want to take with At All Cost. I know that outside this new venture of his, he is always willing to jam, and that's important, because he still believes in it. He's just got other priorities now. We haven't played in so long, but we had already written some new songs before all the Darkest Hour news happened, so I couldn't tell you. Mike is gonna be busy writing a new record with Darkest Hour, but I know when we get together again, shit will click like it always has.

It's always been something I do for fun, for enjoyment, and when I was in town off tour with At All Cost. So now, its become my (and AAC's drummer, OZ's) sole stage outlet, which is kinda shitty. While its good to have fun and we love playing music, Cost has depth. It has real emotion and it has a high that cant be replicated by doing dance music. But I love it and will always make music in hopes that one day someone will give some overdue credit.

Have faith that one day we will play again and reclaim the crown in this Kingdom of Shit.