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Attack Attack! bassist leaves band

Wednesday, December 12, 2012 7:05 PM PT


Attack Attack! bassist John Holgado has announced his exit from the band. Here you go:

To clear things up in a very cliche manner, Andrew Whiting, Andrew Wetzel, and Caleb Shomo have been and will always be some of my best friends. The reason I decided to leave had only been lingering in my head for the past 6 or so months. If only I had a way to state this reason but it simply is more than just a resolved answer because what is relevant with why I left, concerns the past 2 of the 5 years we have toured as a band. For those who've read this far, you now know I've left, and to the readers who would like to hear what has almost ended and could have taken any relationship I could ever imagined with my friends, family, and especially... myself.

Well those who have continued reading, I could not thank you enough to be open ears to what is to be my first ever attempt to voice what I have to say in the years I've been with AA!

These have been the best and the absolute worst past years of my life and I know that for a fact. Nothing will replace all of the memories I've made with the countless amounts of friends and or what I consider a part of my family that I've been gracious to meet. I, today, for once have reviewed my life in my head in a positive way. I really do mean that. I say that, because what I learned was wrong growing up as a kid, I slowly, so slowly over the years of touring began to think was right. I'm not intending to skew being in a band or touring or anything involving music. I am admitting, and fully embarrassing myself in front of you all because I hope one day, at least one of you will reconsider ever taking what your parents granted you the opportunity with, which is the ability to live.

I today, am admitting that I am was/were/have been/am clinically depressed. Why such a confusing statement? Because my book doesn't end at the first chapter. I would say the first chapter would be first and foremost, distancing myself from something everyone else has in common.. My blood related family and relatives.

My family meant the world to me, they raised me to what they thought was best, patient enough to deal with my flaws, and supported me every single bit of the way to success that I myself would try and reach. What went wrong though? The lack of communication, of myself and to others. I hate to make this public but I come from a split family. My parents tried so hard even though they went through what had to happen to make my brother, sister, and myself happy. What took me away from this seems like touring, but again was myself. Please If you could take anything from this if you've made it this far, is to accept who you are, who you were, where you came from, and what you will be. I cannot reiterate enough how valuable your own identity is.

This is where I chose to embarrass myself.... I am fully aware that anyone could judge me or point fingers and laugh but hey, I'm enjoying my life as of now and nothing will ever bring me below where I've already hit.

I slowly without the guidance of my parents, was doing life on my own at the age of 16, dropped out of high school and hit the road. Your brain is such a valuable thing that everyone is born with, but not a single one would ever be like anyone else's... Unless you have the capability of repetitive negative thoughts. I am saying this because I hope that by reading this, you at least know what really DID happen to me, and how powerful your brain really is.

With these years of touring without a guiding light, I unintentionally trained my brain to accept that the fears in my head, are the fears in front of me.
I cannot even begin to tell you how many days have went by on and or off tour where I have legitimately, lied in bed the whole day looking at the ceiling. Seems so simple to fix right? Just get out of bed and do something why don't you? Well that's where my family again is relevant to this situation. I tell you, I absolutely did not listen to anyone or anything, and excuses became my most comfortable flaw... It literally, and LITERALLY, took me taking a chance at raising a 8 week old pup on my own. My god the first three days were hell. Over and over my anxiety and depression triggered my brain that this is a useless act of selfishness. The dog would seem to never listen. My impatience was already over my head... I did not have a positive chance in even thinking I could make a change for the better.

It suddenly clicked in my head... I simply never listened. That moment was the first step in changing my life, and what felt so good about it, was unselfishly, it was for myself. A ease was off my shoulders but a boulder still remained... And it gets more embarrassing..

For months now I've thought that I was homosexual.

This is where my oh so creative conscience was capable of making me fear what I feared.. I am no way saying that being homosexual is a bad thing but to me, it felt like such an unaccepted way of life by my peers. Oh it killed me until this day that every moment I woke up, someone would publicly acclaim it, and I would... I really don't know. This is in the meantime in my conscience of me laying looking at the ceiling. This is real stuff. I wouldn't have announced this if I didn't intend on bettering myself, or having the smallest chance of helping one of you.

Ill reiterate, train your brain to focus on what you know is right, and not what is and or has surrounded you. Not everyone is perfect so I'm not saying that the people who make it to this will be saved or meet my criteria but hey it's worth a shot because I suffered enough and so badly alone that I would never, ever want to hear what happened to a life I once cherished, to occur again.

The flaws above we're only some of the "identifying traits" that we're so skewed in my head.

Why were my views so skewed? Because of the uncomfortable surroundings I became ever so comfortable in. I'm not saying this to point fingers or hate or burn bridges but I have your attention and this is what I have to say.

Two things I hope you take my advice on with never choosing to disobey. Please....

You are what you are around. You are, what you think.

I wish you could feel my heart beating right now... This is where I knew I confidentially could reveal all of this to you.. Saying everything above was the boulder I have been waiting to get off my shoulders for the past two years.... I've accepted my thoughts which were skewed by flaws, my actions that were unintentionally developed by who I was around.

Since you kept reading, and by now have your attention, I feel comfortable to tell you guys this, Stop cursing.

Think about it, as simple as saying "f*ck that band" will skew the relevance of instead saying "eh, I don't really like them."

Or if you say dude that's gay, You could just not say gay at all and grow up and say something much more positive... This list could go on...

Also... Please surround yourself with what your heart feels is right. If you can't sleep at night, consider your thoughts by the end of the week while your conscience is talking to you before you goto bed, and wake up to the next day intending on being comfortable in a comfortable supportive environment. Your family is what I recommend. If you claim no family then your legal guardian. There's a reason that those people are feeding you everyday... Because they want you to succeed. Some things fear mongers will retreat from.

Do not be defeated, instead try what seems to hurt you in order to make what you know is right. Sacrifice...Whether it's friends...Items, imaginary people...And I really mean that, I'm not smiling after that last point...You are what you think.

All good things come to an end, And now I can finally breathe.

End of chapter 1

You are what you think. Also im not homosexual


124 comments


anonymous
12/12/2012 7:16:14 PM
People who read long statements are stoked.

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:16:16 PM
does anyone care enough to read all of this?

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:18:41 PM
Who fuggin cares

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:19:17 PM
WHAT THE fck DID I JUST READ

12/12/2012 7:19:36 PM
Read all of this. It's hilarious.

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:19:57 PM
Does it make sense to anybody?

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:20:19 PM
Defonceeeeeedddddddd

12/12/2012 7:20:42 PM
i think HE IS A HOMOSEXUAL

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:21:15 PM
This dude must have been drunk when writing this.... right...

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:21:46 PM
He's a homosexual man chocolate.

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:21:55 PM
How do you think you're gay for months and then realize you're not gay?
No disrespect towards homosexuals, but I just don't understand how you could think that you are unless you really are.

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:22:51 PM
This is really sloppy, if he wanted to communicate with his family so much, why wouldn't he pick up the phone or skype with his loved ones? You are what you're around? Not true I bet the rest of the band is shitting bricks having a good time in a band like this.

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:23:40 PM
Seriously is this guy on drugs?

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:23:49 PM
The last sentence made this awesome

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:24:34 PM
I am so confused

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:24:38 PM
what the fck.

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:25:09 PM
LoydChristmas had to have played a role in the writing of this.

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:25:24 PM
Lifeflip.

12/12/2012 7:32:16 PM
Well i'm glad he told us he was not a homosexual, load off my mind

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:32:52 PM
huh.

uh.
um.
Did any of this even go as far to has even decided what looks more like has been?

12/12/2012 7:33:49 PM
The most depressed narcissist in the history of fcking everything. Seriously kid, you're the bass player. No one gives a shit that you quit.

12/12/2012 7:34:30 PM
"I thought I was a homosexual" oh shit that made me tear up! Haha

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:36:58 PM
"you're the bass player. No one gives a shit that you quit." thats not true, bands need a bassist. anyway, this was really interesting.. i hope he has a good life...

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:44:03 PM
That really moved me. I know what he is going through. And, I just recently lost someone to suicide that could not deal with the things that were going on in his head. This is more common than most realize. Help those out in your life who really need it. P.S. Vanflip

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:47:06 PM
Bahahahahaha

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:48:15 PM
first off, that made no fcking sense and was way too long.

second, whats up with all these fools in these lame ass metalcore bands that feel like they need to issue a massive public statement any time there's any shake up in the lineups of any of these bands?

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:48:28 PM
With this flawless grammer who would have known he dropped out of High School at 16...

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:49:05 PM
^ really? that moved you? jesus

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:49:58 PM
im sad > i got a dog > i'm gay > play nice > "i'm not gay"

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:51:43 PM
you incomprehensive negative commentators are a reason why people have trouble coming out with their thoughts. you say you don't care about what this long piece of writing, but clearly you care enough to comment negatively. also, your comments don't help anyone and are worthless. learn to accept people. live and let live.

12/12/2012 7:53:07 PM
apparently dick didnt taste as sweet as he hoped

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:56:03 PM
i don't always have nervous breakdowns, but when i do, i post them on the internet

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:56:13 PM
you people are actually really heartless.

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:56:44 PM
Uh...You are a fckin Butt Pirate

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:57:30 PM
Being in a crabcore band took its toll on his sanity and sexuality lol

12/12/2012 7:57:49 PM
http://www.facebook.com/pa ges/You-are-what-you-think -Also-im-not-homosexual/14 4428195706399

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:58:24 PM
This is absolutely one of the dumbest things I've ever read. Good luck with any real career now you weirdo. Did it ever occur to you that there are some things which shouldn't be thought out loud? And you aren't helping anyone... You are hurting everyone with your horrible writing abilities. Do us all a favor and disappear.

anonymous
12/12/2012 7:58:29 PM
gay.

anonymous
12/12/2012 8:04:39 PM
For months now I've thought that I was homosexual.


^You thought? YOU ARE. Fly away bitch..far away

anonymous
12/12/2012 8:04:45 PM
Christian Kids are pissed.

anonymous
12/12/2012 8:05:28 PM
sagea you gay.

anonymous
12/12/2012 8:05:40 PM
"...dropped out of high school and hit the road. Your brain is such a valuable thing..."

Should've stayed in class, you fckin dummy.

anonymous
12/12/2012 8:10:58 PM
Not well thought out.
At all.

anonymous
12/12/2012 8:14:27 PM
you incomprehensive negative commentators are a reason why people have trouble coming out with their thoughts. you say you don't care about what this long piece of writing, but clearly you care enough to comment negatively. also, your comments don't help anyone and are worthless. learn to accept people. live and let live.

^I accept that you're gay too. Now both of you can get married. P.S. fck YOU ya hippie

anonymous
12/12/2012 8:20:33 PM
If you were a vampire you'd be Count gayula

anonymous
12/12/2012 8:31:37 PM
gay scene kids were stoked, then they were unstoked at the end.

anonymous
12/12/2012 8:31:47 PM
Holy crap. I can totally see this kid killing himself. Sometimes you got to just let Darwinism take place for the good of the people.

anonymous
12/12/2012 8:34:54 PM
SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW SKEW

anonymous
12/12/2012 8:43:58 PM
I despise these types of people. World ruiner.

12/12/2012 8:50:42 PM
tl,dr I got as far as one of the guys names is Shomo and alarms went off..

Skip to the end and "I'm not a queer guise srsly"

fck is wrong with you lil gays these days?

anonymous
12/12/2012 9:08:04 PM
This has got to be a joke.


also i just laughed stuff out of my nose from this huge c-ck load I just took in.
But that doesn't make me GAY

anonymous
12/12/2012 9:16:29 PM
lmfao the vocalist quit too http://propertyofzack.com/ post/37814376934/poz-exclu sive-attack-attack-lose-fr ontman-caleb

anonymous
12/12/2012 9:27:31 PM
reading this really skewed my mind...i think i'm gay now 0.o

anonymous
12/12/2012 9:29:21 PM
wow this guy is such a c*ntnugget

anonymous
12/12/2012 9:37:55 PM
Butt pirate core

anonymous
12/12/2012 10:20:50 PM
HAHAHHAHA 1) didn't take the time to read this, 2) he said he wasn't a homosexual but took the time to explain that in graphic detail which means he probably is a homosexual (and who really fcking cares?), 3) this band should break up and really should have never existed in the first place, 4) Maybe the dude from All Shall Perish should join AA! since he's returning to true death metal, 5) since when is a bassist leaving a shitty band worthy of 10 paragraphs

anonymous
12/12/2012 10:23:36 PM
Excuse me 20 paragraphs, 30 paragraphs...wtf what a dipshit. Think he's the gay boyfriend of the Baroness guy who wrote a fcking book around them driving their van off a cliff.

12/12/2012 10:23:45 PM
when did bassist get an opinion on anything? what the fck?! You are the LEAST important part of the band. Fade away like you should have in the first place. fck this guy, literally, if he in fact turns out to be gay.

12/12/2012 10:24:26 PM
Reminder: god hates gays.

anonymous
12/12/2012 10:29:53 PM
What he doesn't tell you is that he dropped out of high school because he failed English class, not because of the band.

anonymous
12/12/2012 10:33:30 PM
"i don't always have nervous breakdowns, but when i do, i post them on the internet"

DEAD

12/12/2012 10:37:46 PM
holy fcking meltdown hahahahahaha

anonymous
12/12/2012 10:50:10 PM
For months now I've thought that I was homosexual For months now I've thought that I was homosexual For months now I've though that I was homosexual

12/12/2012 11:16:39 PM
All of our little sisters are completely dry after reading this.

12/12/2012 11:25:50 PM
graduate, from, high school, learn, use, commas,












ps so totally not homosexual stop sayin gay

anonymous
12/12/2012 11:35:18 PM
This was horribly written. I sort of get what he was trying to say, but he should have paid someone else to write this for him. Most of this statement is just him saying "please listen to what I'm about to tell you," and then he doesn't really say anything. The points he tries to make are poorly/not at all explained, and this pretty much had nothing to do with reasons why someone would leave a band.

anonymous
12/12/2012 11:59:00 PM
http://memeorama.com/wp-co ntent/uploads/2012/01/que- cat-gif.gif

anonymous
12/13/2012 3:07:33 AM
intolerant bitches

anonymous
12/13/2012 3:08:11 AM
"for 6 months i thought i was homosexual"
...
"you are what you think. also im not homosexual"
nstaadi names

anonymous
12/13/2012 3:08:30 AM
this kid is a unappreciative brat. fck outa here.

anonymous
12/13/2012 3:59:28 AM
TL;DR. Depresed drugged out homosexual quitting a shitty band is a depressed drugged out homosexual quitting a shitty band.

12/13/2012 6:15:49 AM
what the fck...no really what the actual fck.

this kid is a complete dunce. this is what dropping out of high school gets you, you worthless little shit.

guy can't even form a coherent sentence.

whine about your depression all you want, but you get nothing but laughs from this guy.

mind = blown

anonymous
12/13/2012 6:28:05 AM
dude. just stop. please just stop, not a single person on earth gives a fck about your confused sexual preference

anonymous
12/13/2012 6:48:24 AM
I repeat:

LoydChristmas had to have played a role in the writing of this.

anonymous
12/13/2012 7:16:29 AM
i could of summed all of this up in 4 sentances, but obviously his ego didn't allow him to keep his departure message to the point and professional.

anonymous
12/13/2012 7:31:37 AM
I mean good for you to start making more positive steps in your life. However, I would say that maybe proof-reading what you write would also help you. Much love bro!

anonymous
12/13/2012 7:35:50 AM
my fcking brain just melted.

12/13/2012 7:36:09 AM
TL;DR...dude is a bona fide SISSY.

anonymous
12/13/2012 7:47:40 AM
anonymous54 minutes ago
I repeat:

LoydChristmas had to have played a role in the writing of this.


No one cared the first time gay

anonymous
12/13/2012 8:24:12 AM
super gay. If my boyfriend ever talked this much about feelings and thoughts I'd sure and shit dump his stupid ass. Shut up and chop some wood, leave the feelings to girls.

12/13/2012 8:38:10 AM
This sounds like the drunken ramblings of a teenage woman.

anonymous
12/13/2012 8:42:11 AM
16-18 year old kid deals with first real problem in life. Becomes a philosopher. Go finish high school so you can communicate.

anonymous
12/13/2012 8:51:20 AM
You are what you are around? You are what you think? fck you that's total bullshit. That's what someone says who is too mentally weak to truly be themselves.

12/13/2012 9:10:26 AM
You have got to be fcking kidding me. This kid can't be serious. None of that makes sense.

anonymous
12/13/2012 9:37:19 AM
Here's the thing dude, you are depressed. You can clearly see that. You're confused as fck, which probably is due to the fact that you are a homosexual. You haven't come to terms with it and it's eating you up inside. If you think you're gay, then you probably are gay, Which is fine, no one cares. I think you should be seeking therapy to help you come to terms with all of this. Also, everyone has had a rough life, grow up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Come out, you'll feel better.

anonymous
12/13/2012 9:48:38 AM
You are what you think. I've been thinking that I am a homosexual. I'm definitely not a homosexual though

12/13/2012 10:47:24 AM
fck this band lol

anonymous
12/13/2012 11:04:07 AM
10/10 would read again

anonymous
12/13/2012 12:30:43 PM
Started my morning out by reading this. Feeling pretty fcking gay now myself

anonymous
12/13/2012 1:26:03 PM
The actual reason is that his band sucks, so he's pretending to be gay to leave.
cool

anonymous
12/13/2012 1:36:05 PM
he should just hang himself, his stupidity makes him a waste of flesh

anonymous
12/13/2012 1:45:07 PM
kinda serious stuff. Someone get this kid help before he offs himself. Crabcore sucks but a dead kid is worse

anonymous
12/13/2012 1:45:53 PM
Is he really qwitting OMG NOOOOOOOOOO their my favorite band and he's the cutest one Who am I going to pleasure two know

anonymous
12/13/2012 1:47:32 PM
you should pleasure to a Webster's Dictionary and maybe take in some knowledge while you're at it.

anonymous
12/13/2012 2:12:05 PM
He sure talks about homosexuality a lot for not being gay. He says you are what you think right?

anonymous
12/13/2012 3:04:04 PM
what a train wreck of a press release... Dude needs to find himself for sure. I hope in 10 years he reads this back and laughs

anonymous
12/13/2012 4:57:35 PM
EATDAPOOPOO

anonymous
12/13/2012 5:56:58 PM
wow, reading any part of this just pisses me off. Who the fck is this assclown to get all preach-y? As if he's a worthwhile musician at all? This is straight up idiotic. Even for lambgoat.

12/13/2012 6:06:06 PM
I want to read it because it seems like it would be funny, but fck that.

anonymous
12/13/2012 6:09:09 PM
What a terrible fcking dude. Just awful.

anonymous
12/13/2012 7:07:17 PM
nervous breakdown in drop d tuning with trance synths over the top

anonymous
12/13/2012 8:07:08 PM
Dude obviously has some mental problems and if I wasn't too busy laughing uncontrollably I might actually feel bad for him. This is absolute gold.

anonymous
12/13/2012 8:43:04 PM
brains and uh parents and uh stuff, we all have brains! yeah and uh listen to your parents oh and uh I'm gay.

12/13/2012 9:02:42 PM
i feel like this dude is trolling...

anonymous
12/13/2012 10:18:15 PM
Stop cursing? You're fcking kidding right? People take "curse" words too damn seriously. It's just a word. Who decided to label them as "bad" , it's just fcking pathetic. Just like this article.

anonymous
12/13/2012 10:20:38 PM
I like at the end he had to clear it up by saying that he isn't in fact homosexual. Get the fck out of here lol

anonymous
12/13/2012 11:59:48 PM
who let Opie have a computer?

anonymous
12/14/2012 5:48:39 AM
two scenarios:
1. this dude took acid for the first time and had a major life freak out which drove him to hastily write this unintelligible garbage
2. his band mates caught him blowing some dude, hence the novel and the quitting.
16 year old kids are going to read this and think that this is how you're supposed to write. if guys like this are the role models teenagers have then we're all fcking doomed.

anonymous
12/14/2012 7:28:13 AM
Learning that he's not a homosexual after all was a ease was off my shoulders.

You are what you think.

anonymous
12/14/2012 7:41:13 AM
Can't wait for chapter 2

anonymous
12/14/2012 7:55:07 AM
Love how he knew this was immediately going on Lambgoat so he had to say he wasn't gay

anonymous
12/14/2012 6:06:12 PM
dude is definitely gay

anonymous
12/14/2012 8:25:29 PM
everyone..stop wasting your time commenting on JH's statement.I agree, his letter was too long, too disambiguated, and too personal.As someone from his hometown, who also has personal ties with AA!, I implore all of you to show your humanity and just see what's going on in our country right now (CT school, OR mall, etc.)Let's just put everything into perspective and shut the hell up already.John is a very thoughtful person.He's moving on with his life.That's it.

12/14/2012 8:45:50 PM
As someone from his hometown, who also has personal ties with AA!, I implore all of you to show your humanity and just see what's going on in our country right now (CT school, OR mall, etc.)

Hey Dickhead I have a poignant message for you too. GO fck YOURSELF.
As someone with no ties and literally grew up far the fck away from your hometown, you are not special. Just because you knew a couple douchebags who post love letters on this forum doesn't mean shit.

12/14/2012 8:46:34 PM
It's bad enough that

12/14/2012 8:50:10 PM
It's bad enough that you can't turn on the tv or go to fb or twtr without seeing or hearing this bullshit. Sad? Yes. Tragic? Of course. Do we have to stop everything and pretend to care everytime a news story comes out? fck no. People die everyday you c-cksucker, you don't need to cry to everyone about all your feels.

12/14/2012 11:39:04 PM
...dude says he's gay then not gay in the same release..what?

anonymous
12/15/2012 11:14:10 PM
you incomprehensive negative commentators are a reason why people have trouble coming out with their thoughts. you say you don't care about what this long piece of writing, but clearly you care enough to comment negatively. also, your comments don't help anyone and are worthless. learn to accept people. live and let live

-sincerely, the ex bassist of attack!attack!

anonymous
12/15/2012 11:15:56 PM
two scenarios:
1. this dude took acid for the first time and had a major life freak out which drove him to hastily write this unintelligible garbage
2. his band mates caught him blowing some dude, hence the novel and the quitting.
16 year old kids are going to read this and think that this is how you're supposed to write. if guys like this are the role models teenagers have then we're all fcking doomed.

-the most intellegent thing i have ever read on this god forsaken website

anonymous
12/16/2012 1:45:19 PM
you don't care about what this long piece of writing you don't care about what this long piece of writing you don't care about what this long piece of writing you don't care about what this long piece of writing you don't care about what this long piece of writing

anonymous
12/16/2012 4:07:21 PM
to the bass player of the band: stop caring what other people think and go live your life. Have some confidence, seek help, get an education, go work out your problems, you do not need to air out your life online. Best of luck to you.

anonymous
12/18/2012 12:09:27 AM
i'm glad he wasn't high when he wrote this..

anonymous
1/14/2013 11:50:10 PM
I really think this band had some sketchy shit goin on that fcked john and caleb over mentally lol They both had drug problems and had a great/not great year. hmmmm...

anonymous
1/14/2014 3:24:06 PM
"you incomprehensive negative commentators are a reason why people have trouble coming out with their thoughts. you say you don't care about what this long piece of writing, but clearly you care enough to comment negatively. also, your comments don't help anyone and are worthless. learn to accept people. live and let live

-sincerely, the ex bassist of attack!attack!"

also im not a homosexual