NewsMay 10, 2017 4:12 PM ET6,004 views

Machine Head: Rob Flynn 50th 'birthday bash' announced

A special birthday show has been announced for Robb Flynn, frontman of San Francisco Bay Area metal veterans Machine Head. The event is set to take place at the Oakland Metro on July 22nd, and will feature a slew of special appearances in addition to the guest of honor, Flynn. Machine Head has released the following statement regarding the event:
"Yes ladies and gentlemen, this July our fearless leader Robb Flynn will officially be a Quinquagenarian?! "- In Led Zeppelin terms, that's halfway up the stairway to heaven! - In fact, at 50, he'll spend more time trimming his nose hair than his head hair! - Hell, the best form of birth control for Robb at this is point, is nudity! - At 50, he's entered the Stone Age... gall, kidney, and bladder. - He's seen it all, done it all… but can't remember most of it! - That's right, his back goes out more than he does! - Turning 50 means he's so old that "doing it three times a night" is how many times Robb get's up to pee! - At 50 he's stiff in all the places he doesn't want to be, and needs a pill to get stiff in the places he does! - Christ, his wild oats have just turned to porridge! "Ba Da Bing! "In honor of the inglorious occasion, the youthfully challenged yet chronologically gifted frontman will be celebrating with a concert performance on Saturday, July 22nd at The Metro Operahouse in Oakland, CA. and features a cavalcade of D-List rockstars, has-been's, and never-was's, such as Fuckin' Joe Cabral and Robb himself. "The debaucherous, alcohol-drenched event will likely be viewed by future generations as "the greatest show of all-time", and is sure to make him an official charter member for the "Old Farts Hall of Fame"! "He only turns half-a-century this year, don't miss this once in a lifetime event! "Tickets go on sale this Friday at noon California time."

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