NewsFebruary 17, 2010 1:18 PM ET5,228 views

Vital Remains seeks lead guitarist

Providence, Rhode Island death metal outfit Vital Remains is currently looking for a lead guitarist. Requirements include professional gear, a valid passport, a valid driver's license, a clean record, ability to tour "anytime, anywhere," and a willingness to relocate to Rhode Island. Candidates must create a video of themselves performing solos from the songs "Icons of Evil" and "Decristianize." Those chosen for live auditions must cover the costs of travel and expenses for said auditions. Only the person chosen for the gig will be reimbursed. Interested parties should send the videos and any other relevant information and materials here.

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WUTWUTWUT 2/17/2010 10:22:37 AM

give it up gays

southside 2/17/2010 11:01:46 AM

band used to rip.

LoydChristmas 2/17/2010 11:16:20 AM

i can't believe we drove around all day and there's not a single job in this town. there is nothin, nada, zip. Shyea, unless you wanna tour "anytime, anywhere"....pffff.

ChesterTheMolester 2/17/2010 11:47:54 AM

uhhh....ummmmm

Sloppyjoes 2/17/2010 11:56:43 AM

brb Ukulele

fantasmal 2/17/2010 12:01:03 PM

@aol.com lulz

SwampLord 2/17/2010 12:33:59 PM

Who would want this job?

xenosapien 2/17/2010 1:27:13 PM

"Decristianize."

burzum 2/17/2010 1:43:19 PM

Their songs are too easy.

hymenbazooka 2/17/2010 2:54:19 PM

i'll post my video when i get home....stay tuned

DESTRUCTIVE_CORGI_PUPPY 2/17/2010 3:07:53 PM

*PISSES ON WASHED UP HACKS*

the_smile_that_kills 2/17/2010 3:07:55 PM

vital remains cool

ugly_old_guy 2/17/2010 3:23:40 PM

requirements should have said ability to write a better album than icons of evil

lordofthefuckingrim 2/17/2010 5:01:16 PM

stop beating the dead horse. should have ended on a decent note after dechristianize

iatemygoat 2/17/2010 5:09:32 PM

"also must be willing to steal local bands guitars" thanks ass holes.

buttfucking 2/17/2010 5:46:04 PM

haha cover the cost of my nuts you fcking lame jerks. Lose the fckin' big dick attitude. Who the fck would ever want to relocate to Rhode Island to join a band that plays in front of 7 people a night anyways?

stooooopid 2/17/2010 6:28:32 PM

Relocate to Rhode Island? Hahahaha who would?

What_The_Tit 2/17/2010 6:40:07 PM

Impending Doom is stoked!

the_beard 2/17/2010 6:45:16 PM

The only reason anyone ever checked them out was cause of Glen and Dave. Now no one cares cause the gravy train is gone.

philadelphia_breadsmasher 2/18/2010 4:53:29 PM

WUTWUTWUT 2/17/2010 10:22:37 AM give it up gays thought they were good till i saw them. what a horrible fcking vocalist

arson_our_savior 2/19/2010 2:35:42 PM

SUPER WEINER Band NO CARE EVER!

forumdrama 2/20/2010 12:27:48 AM

This just in: Dave Suzuki seeks another lead guitarist to replace the guy who fills in for him live. Jesus.




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