TooL album leaks online before August 30 release

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virus_dot_exe 6/11/2019 4:43:14 PM
one day during my senior year of high school, someone ran into our study hall and told us that they saw a giant turd in the bathroom. they told me where to find it and I was a teacher's aide helping a spanish teacher during her lunch break so we all just hung out, graded papers and chilled. she let us leave to go check it out. what i saw left an image in my mind that I'll never lose as long as I live. It was....THE COLOSSUS.

the piece of poop had the shape and size of an actual football (professional, no nerf shit). A few inches were above the water level and had started to dry, it was obvious that the person who birthed it didn't even attempt to flush it because it'd be futile. I ran back to the class and the teacher gave me a poloroid camera, then I took a shot of it, the only documented footage of THE COLOSSUS. All the people from the nearby classes got out of class to see it, I was sneaking girls in and watching for teachers.

By the end of the period, kids from one of the computer classes had printed out color maps with directional arrows telling kids how to find it, and there was a line all the way out of the bathroom not unlike the line to get on a rollercoaster, kids would line up, pass by and look for a second, laugh hysterically and then leave awe-struck.
Teachers were actually taking their classes to see it, I shit you not.

Eventually it disappeared, the same spanish teacher told me she asked about it and one of the janitors had to break it up with a broomstick and flush it in pieces. I still have the picture taped in the back of my yearbook.
AnalButt 6/11/2019 4:45:07 PM
fourthgradecocktease 6/11/2019 4:54:39 PM
I too have encountered a football shaped shit that rose above the water's edge. Someone out there is doing god's work.
simon_belmonT 6/11/2019 5:16:34 PM
d0t_hack 6/11/2019 5:32:29 PM
Lol thread of the month
godfreyj0nes 6/11/2019 6:58:01 PM
Reminds me of a recent work story. I manage a local community center on the weekends to being in some extra cash. They have a gym, fitness studios, pool, do birthday parties.....etc. Well, one day there was a major scheduling conflict for the birthday parties and nobody could get ahold of our party manager to figure out what was going on. I made the executive decision to move the party to our backup option, one of the fitness studios. The party gets started and our party attendants start to get complaints of a foul smell and people weren't willing to stay in the room for the party. Upon investigation, the bathroom across the hall had a similar football sized shit smeared along the side of the bowl. I flushed it furiously, but no amount of flushing could get it to budge. I call my custodian up and this guy is all business about it. He tripled layered his gloves and picked the thing up and tried to flush it down. The thing was too thick to make it through the outlet and the toilet started to overflow. He grabbed one of his cleaning tools and chopped it up, but the part on the inside was still trapped. At this point the party has cleared out and I'm dealing with some aggressive parents throwing a fit and demanding a refund. At the same time I've got my custodian telling me he flushed it again hoping it would go down and instead it's overflowing into the hallway. Dude requested a spoon and stuck his arm in and scooped chunks out until it finally went down. After that they have a toilet snake on hand 24/7.
easyhateoven 6/11/2019 7:27:36 PM
carveyournamein 6/11/2019 7:57:33 PM
What a shitty custodian.
thetowerofrome 6/11/2019 8:14:20 PM
vagisilcreem 6/11/2019 8:24:10 PM
carveyournamein 6/11/2019 8:26:29 PM
simon_belmonT 6/11/2019 8:35:03 PM
Oh my god
thetowerofrome 6/11/2019 8:37:47 PM
AnalButt 6/11/2019 8:43:11 PM
d0t_hack 6/11/2019 8:48:30 PM
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