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story time: getting saved by cocaine in london's camden town

evil_hero 122 days ago
one of my best friends is a british dude "bob" i met randomly in portland when he was visiting a distant uncle for a summer. we ended up being great friends and traveling all over the world and the US together with 3 of those trips being when i went to england to visit him. i like england a lot, its basically like the US experience but reskinned and some added DLC. my 2nd time there also coincided with a euro tour by a couple american hardcore bands i knew in passing. bob and i planned to go to see the tour in amsterdam and then a couple days later back home in london and we knew we were going to get seriously f*cked up. so we fly to amsterdam and spend a few days before the show getting stoned in various cafes. the normal tourist shit. my friend from germany and her boyfriend come meet up with us and we're getting super stoned. my german friend ends up buying a few grams of coke off the street but i abstain from it. they do a few key bumps and tuck it away for safe keeping. it seems to be really really high quality. the tour rolls through, we hang out at the show, get f*cked up, the bands get hotel rooms later and we all get super super f*cked up. its a great time. we party until the sun comes up, me and bob get zero sleep and catch our morning flight back to london to recover for a few days until the tour package gets to london. we get back to bob's and unpacking our suitcases when he realizes he accidentally smuggled a couple grams of coke from amsterdam to london. we have a laugh about it but we're stoked on the good fortune to have a couple free grams of coke. a couple days later the tour arrives in london and we go down to camden town where the venue is. camden town is a bad ass part of london with dive bars and cool shops that chicks like. its a fun place to get day drunk. so we pretty much get to it. and the show goes really well, we're all having a great time. after it wraps up we all go out to bars in camden town to get f*cked up. now i will mention that the drinking age in london is 18. so as an american drinking over there, particularly at bars with a younger crowd, it feels a bit thrilling and wrong to be getting shitfaced with 18 year old chicks. but i am never one to question other cultures. but anyway after the show at the bar i end up chatting with this 18 year old model chick. its going absolutely perfectly. shes asking me about my tattoos, i'm impressing her with tour stories and showing her photos of amsterdam canals. i am 100% certain i am going to smash this chick out. but i take it too far with the drinking. i start getting fuuuckkeddd upp. my other friend in london (an american chick who moved over there) is helping me out. trying to keep me on the level. and the model chick is like desperately holding onto me lmao as i'm getting hit with the spins, feeling like i'm gonna vomit, speaking incoherently, the whole 9 yards that come prior to blackout. theres a tiny voice in the back of my mind thats like drink some water, bang this 10, figure your shit out. it doesn't help though, i get a huge glass of water and immediately spill it into the model chick's purse. her entire purse is a big swimming pool with her phone and shit floating around like a rubber ducky in the bath. shes f*cking devastated. shes upset. shes making a scene with her friends, trying to dry it out. i feel like i'm watching this from 50 feet away i'm so f*cked up. but shes still wanting to follow through on banging some tatted up american dude so shes not holding a grudge. she says we need to get out of here, we need to find a bag of rice. i'm like cool, let me find bob. i find bob in the bar and tell him i need to leave, we need to fix her phone so i can smash. hes like dude you are in no shape to do any of this. i'm 95% of the way to belligerent but i somehow calm my rage. i insist, i am banging this chick tonight. just then i start throwing up standing at the bar with bob. but only release a little and calm it back down. but the bartender sees and throws me out. bob follows along with the model and my other friends and some of her other friends. we go to tesco down the street and get a bag of rice and head over to one of the random people's flats that we were with. chicky rices up her phone and meanwhile bob is trying to keep me on the straight and level but i am far too gone. one of the other chicks notices and shes like hey do you want to go lay down upstairs in our spare room? im like yes now would be a good time. its probably 4am at this point. i lay down in the room, spinning like crazy in the darkness. chicky comes up and is saying nice things to me i cant understand but she seems disappointed. i feel like shes going to leave for good when she gets up and leaves the room. bob comes in right after her. hes like "mate i'm about to bang her friend. its now or never if you want to make this happen." and in my bleary eyes through the spinning room i realize hes holding out the f*cking bag of coke. i take a massive drink of water, blast two quick bumps and rub some inside my lip. and i lay back down and close my eyes. within moments the fog clears and my stomach comes to a rest. i feel like when theoden king of rohan grasped his old sword. chicky comes back up and i'm a changed f*cking man. i give her a little bump of coke and have her take her shoes off for a foot rub. and the rest is history. after smashing i cant sleep so we get dressed and leave the flat at first light and go up to abbey road studio to take some tourist photos.

skinsuit 122 days ago
TLNR?

its better than your book, read it

skinsuit 122 days ago
Sorry, I don't read your posts.

awww his therapist told him to say that

_d0thack_ 122 days ago
10/10

ej 122 days ago
congrats on the sex

SHUT THE f*ck UP E.... oh, thank you.

_d0thack_ 122 days ago
EH needs to get me outta the house and off work for 2 weeks. Seriously.

evil_hero 122 days ago
bahahahaha. dottie id want to do austin with you. we would kill. i got a story time about austin too. ditching these strippers on the austin river float everyone does, because we found much hotter strippers on the float. so we sent the first strippers down the wrong part of the river into the rapids lmaaooo and floated away with better options

evil_hero 122 days ago
trind watch me publish a book just copy and paste my LG story times into word and sell it to a publisher for more than the gruppe homme is worth

VodkaVeins 122 days ago
Evil_Hero: An Erotic Life

VodkaVeins 122 days ago
Has a woman ever told you that "your balls totally rule"?

withdeadhandsrising 122 days ago
heroic stuff i've never done cocaine and at 35 i feel i don't need to find out about it now

id do some coke still, maybe even try a keg stand, and then do some more coke.