So far I have tried Sitting at home reading Sitting at home watching tv Sitting at home drinking beer These haven't worked.

Sorry I already f*cked em all

I'd rather meet old hot singles. I'm not going to a f*cking club or staying up past 10

go for hot shingles instead

Hot Kraft Singles

I thought there was a Mrs. Belmont. Or maybe Mrs. Belmont is ready to spice things up a bit. Either way, I hear Grindr is the hot place to go.

I just want to meet them. I wouldn't have sex. I'm not pathetic enough to engage in that act

what would you say to them?

I'd say something like " Maybe, before we even begin a deeper discussion about the platitudes of black metal and all of our concerns about the future of the pagan warrior's place outside of the deafening – no puns allowed here, people – realms of Blashyrkh, and definitely before we start throwing around made-up words that we all embarrassingly use in private to describe the eyebrow-curving, elitist authenticity of our darkest loves in this sub-corner of music, maybe we need to recognize all of the things that Deafheaven is not. In essence, maybe the black metal that we've all come to love, or at least fascinate ourselves over, with all of its unreadable logos and black and white promo photos and blasting tempos and indecipherable yet essential shrieking, has been shaped in the formless emptiness that its very existence has bound itself to. The time has come for us to finally let the smoke of Vikernes' handiwork clear into the aether, and let the classic themes of violence and anti-Christianity (as beloved as they are) take their place among the taboos of old. It's time to go a little deeper, I'd say."

Just walk around wearing a tuxedo. The women will flock

I don't

you have to put up flyers with your post count all around town, dummy

My post count sucks now. I was at like 90,000 before

then make it a point that you're looking for someone who will help you grow and nurture you(r post count)

just buy a keurig, assuming you're talking about coffee.