Woodland Coiled Backwards

I am a firm believer in the idea that the first ten seconds of a record can make it or break it. After that disc starts spinning, and you're firmly planted on a couch or some sort of bean-bag chair, chances are the music will either inspire you to continue listening (at least arousing your curiosity), or it will make you want to spit at the floor and curse the day you bought such a horrid thing. Now, I'm not saying that Woodland or their first full-length is a sorry excuse for a record; on the contrary, it ain't half-bad, though it could certainly be a lot better. The first song and title track, "Coiled Backwards", invariably starts out with a very weak, black metal riff. And of course, not ten seconds in, the guitarist screws up. It's not a huge mistake; he just misses a few notes, but it sounds terrible, like they decided to do everything in one take no matter what happened. Furthermore, whether or not this is the style they were aiming for, the "lead" guitar is incredibly clean, almost to the point where it begs for some distortion. I mean, this is supposed to be metal, right "Comfortable Silences", following two rather bland tracks, is much more interesting. Starting off with clean guitar picking and light drum work, the song slowly crescendos into full force. "The Lasting Light"begins with asimilar approach, though the guitar is definitely rigged with some sort of flange pedal. The song, however, snubs out at the end after a very odd and ill-planned break down. Track nine, after another long lull in creativity, picks things up again. It's a little mellow, but there's a lot of erratic double-bass pedal and a very haunting chorus that sounds like something a Catholic church choir should be singing. The album ends on slight bang with "Praying For This Day To Come", an agreeable little ditty that is a pretty up beat and somewhat catchy. Bottom Line: Overall, this record is way too slow for the genre they're attempting to play (which I would say is black metal infused with a dash of hardcore). Actually, if a more appropriate genre name could be given, it would be "D&D-core" (for all you Dungeons and Dragons nerds out there), since the music is presented in such a way that it seems overly dramatic. I have also neglected to mention the vocals until this point, and for good reason: they're more lame than my disabled grandmother. I only say this, though, because Woodland consists of two vocalists who, for the majority of the album, sing the same thing right on top of each other, an effect that can easily be achieved with just one vocalist and a computer. Lastly, (and this one has been bugging me for a while), why on earth did they buy a barcode for something they self-released To the guys in Woodland, take my advice: if Hydrahead doesn't do it, you don't need to either.