AlbumsNovember 29, 20115,284 views

Collapsar Collapsar


1. Death Over Dominion 2. Uno MP3 3. Godzilla VS. Space Godzilla 4. Pray To Thor 5. King Kong Died For Your Sins 6. Sleep Robot 7. Opus 1 8. Robot Wins
2005 Escape Artist Records
Our score 5

8/30/2005

This will be the first time I've ever done this. It takes a big man to admit his weaknesses and I hope I can rely on your understanding when I confess: I don't get it. Collapsar is either total bullshit or some next level of genius- and I can't tell which. To my ears, Collapsar sounds like the practice recording a well-meaning but forgettable local band passes around to find a vocalist. But it's not. Someone actually put this out as a finished product. So what am I to think Is this a miscalculation on the part of Escape Artist Records Did they owe someone a favor Lose a bet Or is this the next big thing and my Cro-Magnon head-holes are too backwards to process this brilliance Excellent parts do not make excellent albums and despite each song having at least one fantastic piece of smartly played metal, this disc proves the point. You may hit REWIND three times to hear a part again, but that's hardly the listening experience I was hoping for. Ideally, I'd be hitting BACK to hear the entire song again. Not the case this time out. For people who need a play-by-play: It's heavy, but not the sort of crushing steamroller thing you may be looking for. It's smart, but not of the guitar masturbation style that's been growing in popularity lately. Here's what it boils down to: if you choose to be instrumental when working in genres that normally incorporate vocals, it's critical that you take the listener somewhere through song craft. That didn't happen here. Basically, it's solid and well-played but lacks the sort of emotional, spiritual or visceral connection needed to pump my nads. No nads were pumped during the listening of this album. Bottom Line: It seems with the hype surrounding bands like Pelican, that instrumental metal will become the next niche people didn't know they needed to fill. Who will be the stars of this scene, I can't say. But I'll assert this much: if Collapar is destined for greatness, it won't be on the strength of this recording. This disc is competently played and worth a listen but not worth my money. Or, I just don't get it.

27 comments

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lol_ 8/30/2005 7:14:40 PM

first post


mORGAN_ 8/30/2005 7:31:51 PM

Noke hare ebar!


RustyPS_ 8/30/2005 8:11:40 PM

The tracks I heard of them I really dug. Hmmm...I don't know.


anonymous 8/30/2005 8:49:45 PM

Once again I read a patrick kindlon review and have no f*cking clue what the album is like. from now on, for the cds kindlon would normally review, just put up the cd art with an mp3. it would be much easier.


anonymous 8/30/2005 8:53:02 PM

after listening to the mp3, much more could have been said about the music and the band. it is more deserving of a better score too.


anonymous 8/30/2005 9:04:15 PM

A blind man knows what this would sound like better than me after reading that review. This kid sucks. Fire him already.


well_ 8/30/2005 9:48:52 PM

"Basically, it's solid and well-played but lacks the sort of emotional, spiritual or visceral connection needed to pump my nads." i.e. It's good but not gay enough....priceless.


no its true_ 8/30/2005 11:28:22 PM

this is just boring.


hotaction_ 8/30/2005 11:32:45 PM

not bad. id have to hear more


xdxmx_ 8/31/2005 2:14:41 AM

not TOO bad... sounds like a weird mix of pelican and dysrythmia... wish the guitars sounded heavier or fuller or just more present. ida given it a 6 based of the one song... maybe a weak 7


jdmcnugent_ 8/31/2005 2:40:23 AM

i fell asleep when i listened to the song. this band sucks. 1/10 (i give it a 1 simply because they went through the trouble to write, record and distribute this sleeping pill of a CD)


richard_ 8/31/2005 4:12:17 AM

when a review starts by basically saying that their review is based off of not understanding the music, i tend not to read it.


frantic_ 8/31/2005 5:47:29 AM

For those not familiar (including the reviewer, obviously) with the works of Don Caballero, this band sounds like a metallized version of it. Unfortunately, Don Caballero pushed the things as far as they go in their genre so this comes of as solid but not too inspiring. Dysrhythmia reference is also correct although I never dug them too well either (too boring).


likewoa_ 8/31/2005 6:32:42 AM

patrick kindlonk couldn't describe the color of the penis smacking him gently on the forehead. "it's heavy... well rounded... all in all a decent c-ck but missing that something"


thegoddamnawesome_ 8/31/2005 7:29:04 AM

shit review. this record deserves at least a seven.


Wayno_ 8/31/2005 7:38:22 AM

My god, Kid. Return this album immediately, pick up the new Bled Album and review that. Wait 5 years and buy this album when you may have learned a little something about what makes music good. The album`s solid....and representative of the scene`s evolution. Period.


Jack the Turd_ 8/31/2005 9:24:10 AM

This guy should not be reviewing music... especially music he doesn't understand. Relying on Patrick Kindlon to provide any intelligence or meaningful insight into any album is a gross miscalculation on the part of Lambgoat.


Erik_ 8/31/2005 10:34:02 AM

Disagree with the review. Excellent band.


SMokeOutLoud_ 8/31/2005 11:42:38 AM

listen to Tower.Of.Rome*


anonymous 8/31/2005 12:10:14 PM

okay, so sorry to hop on the band wagon here, but i have no clue what this is supposed to sound like and i have no interest in clicking the link to the mp3...im lazy...what im guessing is it sounds like pelican? cause thats about the only conclusion i can come to.


john_doe_ 8/31/2005 12:28:40 PM

maybe ash levitt would've been a better choice to review this cd. i think he listens to more doom metal. shit that's on southern lord.


anonymous 8/31/2005 4:26:38 PM

"okay, so sorry to hop on the band wagon here, but i have no clue what this is supposed to sound like and i have no interest in clicking the link to the mp3...im lazy...what im guessing is it sounds like pelican? cause thats about the only conclusion i can come to. posted by () on 8/31/2005 12:10:14 PM" this is laughable..... your too lazy to click on one link, but muster up the energy to form a paragraph about how you are to lazy to click on it?


anonymous 8/31/2005 7:50:54 PM

I thought this was good. Don Cab but heavier is good description. You don't need vocals you need a calculator. Good math rock/metal


panzer_ 9/2/2005 3:31:07 AM

I like it, but I think I prefer Oxes more.


beartraps_ 9/5/2005 9:26:26 PM

this guy gave the symphony in peril cd a 5. that cd is played out garbage. Collapsar definitly has plenty of originality and some awesome riffs. i enjoyed this cd a lot and would have givin it an 8 or even a 9. this dude sucks.


anonymous 9/7/2005 3:34:33 AM

i don't get the pelican reference apart from the fact that both bands are instrumental. this band sounds more like a horribly half-assed version of keelhaul, if anything.


D-Wreck_ 3/3/2008 1:42:27 PM

f*cking amazing