AlbumsNovember 29, 201110,219 views

Armor For Sleep What To Do When You Are Dead

01. Car Underwater 02. Truth About Heaven 03. Remember To Feel Real 04. Awkward Last Words 05. Stay On The Ground 06. A Quick Little Flight 07. The More You Talk The Less I Hear 08. Basement Ghost Singing 09. Walking At Night, Alone 10. I Have Been Right All Along 11. The End Of A Fraud
2005 Equal Vision Records
Our score 3


Ever since I got into this whole hardcore/punk thing, some people, mostly assholes, have told me it's something I'm bound to grow out of. That's baloney. I'm gonna stay young til I die, bro, and I feel deep pity for anyone who "outgrows" this. But some things are meant to be left at the gates of adulthood, alongside that moldy pile of rain-dampened stuffed animals. Making out instead of fucking, Saves The Day, and Kool Aid lips are best relegated to pleasant memories of a time before you acquired a sense of taste. Armor For Sleep, will be that for someone some day. But I'm 25 and I've been with women, so really this holds nothing for me. Do you have a younger sibling If they don't listen to hip-hop, chances are they've been caught in the bear-trap of low-grade emo-pop. Ask to borrow anything in their collection, imagine it has over-the-top production. There. You pretty much know everything you need to about Armor For Sleep's What To Do When You Are Dead. It's that sound that inspired a bunch of sadly ill-informed rags to proclaim Long Island the "new Seattle" a couple years back. Over-ambitious in a "not really" sort of way, What To Do... is a "concept" record. 2112 this is not. The whole gimmick is that the song narrator is dead. All the songs are about being dead and missing someone or being missed, which for anyone keeping score means that this is no more a concept record than the "Cuz I Got High" Afro-Man single. Concept records mean there is a theme, it doesn't mean that every song is about the same thing. Armor's last record was a supposed concept record about sleep which made every listener bored as shit and sleepy. What To Do.... is about being dead and did make me want to die, so I guess these dudes know their craft. Bottom Line: Seriously Man, I don't know. Go buy a Jawbreaker CD instead. Unless you're 13, in which case you should pick up this album, kiss a girl/boy this summer and create memories to laugh at when you realize this is the exploitive cock-rock of the emo world.


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xchadsterx_ 6/9/2005 9:00:25 AM

*listens to lambgoat about non-heavy music* *be's dumb as hell* This record is amazing.

what_is_wrong_with_you_ 6/9/2005 9:08:16 AM

I think the review was a bit brutal, but to each their own. I think it's a great record, and I like Jawbreaker as well.

Sean Loiselle_ 6/9/2005 9:09:01 AM

Ah, best review by Patrick.

beardofbees_ 6/9/2005 9:11:14 AM

this review is pretty spot on. I mean listening to bands like this when i was younger made sense, but if your over the age of 18 you need to get a clue, or a bottle of whiskey and a slutty broad

generic_gimmick_ 6/9/2005 9:12:36 AM

I'm 25 and I've been with women, so really this holds nothing for me. Ha

Arnold Rimmer_ 6/9/2005 9:48:19 AM

Massively overproduced and the lyrics are dreadful. The review called it right.

rob_mcfeters_ 6/9/2005 9:55:10 AM

shti f*cking band. good review.

moron_ 6/9/2005 10:15:49 AM

Im 25 and I still like Saves the Day. :/

The REAL Bob Rock_ 6/9/2005 10:19:35 AM

OK, well, the review score is right. This record is a hydrocephalic baby of an album. So +. However, the review, from a literary point of view, is a big ole' shit. Hardly any description of the sound/style of the band/record, instead focusing on trotting out "witty" and "urbane" comments like a coke-sniffing-20-something-media-type would. Bro, you aren't a journalist, and you never will be. Take it from someone who is one. But nice score, though. -TRBR

Papertigers_ 6/9/2005 10:29:41 AM


alex_ 6/9/2005 10:49:17 AM

i think you're confusing journalist with writer. While they both "write," a Rolling Stone album reviewer would not be considered a journalist

The REAL Bob Rock_ 6/9/2005 10:52:30 AM

Touché, alex. -TRBR

Dimitri_from_Paris_ 6/9/2005 10:59:48 AM

While the concept is naive and the production is huge, this album is verygood. The hooks and the songwriting are the best the genre has ever seen and the layers of sound remind me of My Bloody Valentine. While the concept is amatuerish, if you let yourself remember what is was like to be so young and naive, this album will bring you back to a time of innocence and sorrow that moer "mature" bands ignore. Yea, its for younger people. But we are all young once. And this album does it better lyrical

anonymous 6/9/2005 11:19:21 AM

^ are you the old DEP singer?

anonymous 6/9/2005 11:20:08 AM

that was a joke by the way

BigScaryMonster_ 6/9/2005 11:52:12 AM

This review succeeded in making me want to listen to Jawbreaker.

incircles_ 6/9/2005 12:28:25 PM

great review...whether or not you agree, you have to feel where dude is coming from hahaha

beardsly_ 6/9/2005 12:44:20 PM

coming to lambgoat for a good review of an "emo" album is like going to church for an abortion

buckwheat_ 6/9/2005 1:50:15 PM

I love Jawbreaker and I love AFS. Suck it dude.

TheWood_ 6/9/2005 1:50:51 PM

"2112 this is not." Hahaha...this review is money.

thegoddamnawesome_ 6/9/2005 2:00:26 PM

i like this record.

caleb_ 6/9/2005 2:09:17 PM

clever, but being clever isn't your job. reviewing records is.

die die die_ 6/9/2005 2:13:10 PM

Hey Pat, you're a gay, this cd is great, sucker.

vegans taste good_ 6/9/2005 3:11:22 PM

i think pat is one of the better reviewers on this sit, but anyways, yeah this cd blows.

hxcobd_ 6/9/2005 3:25:59 PM

lol'd furiously at this review

retch_ 6/9/2005 4:09:51 PM

shit review. this cd is catchy as f*ck

Ohhhhh_ 6/9/2005 4:25:47 PM

I never really complain about reviews on here, but this CD is great. The reviewer apparently can read and generalize the type of band and their lyrics. Congratulations. They wrote great songs, creative for something so many other bands are doing. And yet you gave Symphony in Peril a 5/10? They're less creative in a genre even more swamped than emo-rock. Kindlon, you're fired.

mattox_ 6/9/2005 4:48:41 PM


panzer_ 6/9/2005 7:34:29 PM

why's this even on here? Must it be pointed out again the logo says "LAMBGOAT: HARDCORE // METAL // SHIT HOLE"? I see no mention of this shitty genre anywhere.

Coley Thrash_ 6/9/2005 7:40:56 PM

I think unless any of you have written the Lambgoat laws you are in no place to tell the reviewer of his job. He can fill the space to promote his own band and you should not be permited to tell him he can't because you're not writing the review.

you_in_hawk_country_now_ 6/9/2005 8:17:39 PM

strangely enough, i'm permitted to tell you to get dead you gay sounding dumbass. this is what the comments section is here for, dumb-dumb.

grindmyass_ 6/9/2005 10:11:02 PM

This is one of 5 or so bands of this style that I feel are even worthy of playing music in general. They are ridiculously good, which is a feat in of itself considering the confinements of thier genre. It's overemotional and sappy, sometimes even cheesy, but what do you expect from music of this sort? More accurate review:

yeah sure_ 6/9/2005 10:20:47 PM

this is exactly the kind of review I've grown to expect from, they just are incapable of reviewing anything that isn't metal or hardcore or some crappy paste of the two, you guys really shoudn't have wasted your time reviewing an album you innevitably wouldn't like. Future reference, either that or learn to f*cking expand your musical tastes.

grudgecityhxc_ 6/9/2005 10:24:11 PM

this band sucks. they deserve a shitty review like this. and when i say shitty, i mean the review itself is actually shitty. but the record still sucks.

troy_ 6/9/2005 10:42:15 PM

What To Do.... is about being dead and did make me want to die, so I guess these dudes know their craft. that's funny. i seriously laughed out loud.

har_har_ 6/9/2005 11:26:24 PM

A 3??? I think this is being a little generous

jason_ 6/9/2005 11:43:47 PM

anyone who tells patrick kindlon that he needs to expand his music tastes first needs to realize that they have a previously-unknown case of down syndrome, and then that patrick has one of the most eclectic music tastes i know of.

anonymous 6/9/2005 11:52:06 PM

ecclectic tastes? he basically says he's too old to even bother trying to discover different music other than punk rock, do you have dyslexia? "im 25 and i'll never stop liking punk rock, this new music is too emo...etc.etc." i do think this album is ok at best but seriously wrong guy to do the review.

anonymous 6/10/2005 12:15:30 AM

Seriously man, this review was not helpful at all in describing this album. All it is is an attck on the genre it falls under, but no details as to what it sounds like. AFS and this album are f*cking amazing. They have some of best hooks and interesting songwriting structures I've heard. They are just all around great, creative musicians who know how to captivate you w/ their music. I guarantee that if the singer didn't have such a high pitched voice or just a more mature sounding voice in gen

eaglesbecomevultures_ 6/10/2005 4:07:03 AM

I hasten to believe that 98% of everyone defending this album is under the age of 18. Grow up, stop listening to bad music, then come back and maybe we'll take you seriously.

Ppaertigers_ 6/10/2005 4:44:31 AM are a f**king tool

Some Fake Dude_ 6/10/2005 8:01:00 AM

I read this review and cried, cried my eyes out like some delusional gigolo, who took a flight to Vegas only to find himself in some shithole on the east side of Angola. What am I supposed to do? I read this review and I enjoyed the album and when this guy didn't agree with my opinion I got pissed. I just can't stand it when I like something and someone else doesn't. Like chocolate chip can anyone not enjoy the idea of marrying chocolate chips and breakfast? I mean, shit man, cooki

nick_ 6/10/2005 10:51:20 AM

wow, um dude you spent the whole review trying(and failing) to be a comedian, instead of reviewing the album. Being with women has nothing to do with what music you listen to, and I severely doubt that claim to begin with. So, what, guys that are cool listen to what? your favorite bands? do us a favor homo, give up

yeast infection_ 6/10/2005 1:34:24 PM

never heard AFS, before. I think this is a really well written article. PROPS, except where u mention it's okay to buy this if you are 13. I don't get that. make a better suggestion for a 13 year old's purchase, like an old record (N.P. Scum, Melvins, G's Streetcleaner, Venom, etc.)

Mike_ 6/10/2005 4:05:37 PM

So typical for some reviewer of lambgoat to give this album a horrible review, its not metal or hardcore UH OH. Honestly get bent, this album rocks.

zero_x_potential_ 6/10/2005 8:59:13 PM

i like the first song, the rest is meh

itsjordan_ 6/10/2005 9:28:47 PM

"WAH, I CAN'T STAND SOMEONE TALKING SHIT ON SOMETHING I LIKE AND SINCE THE MUSIC CAN'T DEFEND ITSELF, I'LL COME TO ITS RESCUE" guess what? some people don't like shitty mall-pop-emo-punk, acknowledge that they're a better person than you and get over it.

Dustin_ 6/11/2005 10:10:59 AM

My girlfriend loves this band, so they have actually grown on me a bit. But it's OK....I have her listening to The Hope Conspiracy and 100 Demons now.

yeah dog_ 6/11/2005 11:10:34 AM

itsjordan is right, if the music was any good you wouldnt feel this need to rush to its rescue. basically anyone who posts in the comments section is insecure in his or her tastes. if you like armor for sleep, who gives a f*ck what this dude says? the only reason you post is because you KNOW it blows.

die die die_ 6/12/2005 3:40:54 AM

gay above, you're an idiot. why do people come to the defensive of animals being used for coats, because they must be insecure deep down and actually hate that animals. you're a f*cking male jerk licking gay

this dude needs meds_ 6/12/2005 12:43:24 PM

very serious point-prover above, you sure know how to relate to things that couldnt be more different. also worth noting, you are a MAN defending an album meant for girls who wear NFG tank-tops and you had the balls to call me a gay. whoa, boss. you pretty much illustrated my point better than i could. you rule.

ipoopedinyourcloset_ 6/12/2005 7:34:01 PM

I enjoy girls wearing NFG tank tops more than I enjoy this album

wolfpack_ 6/13/2005 12:22:19 PM

wow shitty band

Chimchim_ 6/13/2005 3:58:53 PM

I just got Exploiting Dysfunction by Cephalic Carnage. Great cd. Is all their shit this insane?

tohereyoumotherfucker_ 6/13/2005 6:03:55 PM

if you ever for the love of all that is holy compare armor for sleep to my bloody valentine again, i will show you what a bloody valentine really is. you probably liked grade anyway. get a clue.

matt_ 6/13/2005 6:49:17 PM

news flash! lambgoat doesnt like emo!! can you believe that? (ex. see also... from first to last, hawthorne heights reviews)

charles cure_ 6/14/2005 2:04:54 PM

i love pat kindlon's reviews. they are never basic or unoriginal. he knows something about music that most of you people hacking this review apart dont know. that thing he knows is this: people like music because they relate to it. what you can or cant relate to depends on what kind of experience you have in life. if you cant get over missing your 17 year old girlfriend because youre both on spring break and you dont have your licens yet so you cant drive to her house everyday and lick the insi

Ace_ 6/14/2005 8:39:28 PM

The funny thing about everyone saying "oh it's lambgoat, of course they wouldn't like emo" is that Pat sings for a band that has been described as "emo." Lambgoat did the band the most justice they could by giving the disc to Pat...the bad review has nothing to do with lambgoat being biased and everything to do with the cd sucking.

Ohhhhh_ 6/15/2005 12:03:49 AM

im older than 18 and bought this, i also got my tampons when i was out. i bet you all just wet your camo shorts with that gem.

dutch_ 6/15/2005 3:42:31 PM

funny review, but seriously. . . Saves The Day is one of the best poppunk bands ever.

What_ 6/17/2005 9:14:27 AM

Why read something you don't like? Are you hungry or tired or something?

Josh_ 6/24/2005 1:58:41 AM

Sure does make sense for Lambgoat to review this...just an excuse to somehow make the reviewer feel elite as he bashes instead of review, while making him feel better about the new band he found on with one song and 13 plays. Damn what a gay.

gwarface_ 6/26/2005 1:39:24 AM

nailed it on the head.

Franky C_ 6/26/2005 2:22:35 AM

ignorant review, put some more effort into telling the audience what the record actually sounds like, rather than attempting clever lines of bashing. It's one thing to dislike the record, but i mean c'mon this is just a bunch of paragraphs that i personally didn't get anything out of.

retch_ 9/14/2005 6:43:19 AM

gay review. this cd is catchy as f*ck

Matt_ 2/11/2006 11:38:38 PM

Im 17, ive been with women and this album just doesnt do it for me. what a pile of garbage.

drew_ 8/13/2006 7:17:15 AM

this band is amazing

WTF_ 9/3/2006 4:02:20 PM

i am on lambgoat and i am seeing armor for sleep right becasue this must be a nightmare!!!

raaaach_ 12/16/2009 12:30:37 PM

This album is STILL catchy as f*ck. Suck it gays.