AlbumsNovember 29, 20115,677 views

The Loved Ones The Loved Ones

1. 100K MP3 2. Chickem 3. Massive 4. Drastic 5. Candy Cane
2005 Jade Tree Records
Our score 6


While I usually get paid the big bucks to find clever comparisons to existing bands, The Loved Ones have done my work for me. Never has a Thank You list been more revealing. Every group listed (minus Q & Not You) seems directly responsible for shaping The Loved Ones sound. Sometimes with great results, as in the Hot Water Music influence in Chicken; sometimes to dreadfully, embarrassingly bad effect like the Against Me!-inspired Drastic. Alkaline Trio, The Bouncing Souls, and Strike Anywhere leave their mark on this album. Take that how you will. For me, it means another middle-of-the-road punk record with occasional highpoints and just as many troughs. If you had to pick a "punk" band to hate, Loved Ones could never be it. They understand the music they're playing (a rarity in this field), and while they dance the line of Warped Tour fodder they never lower themselves to a purely commercial sound. Close. Real close. But not quite. If The Loved Ones were a snack food they would be Combos. There are cheese elements at work, but it is far from being a pure cheese product such as Cheddar Goldfish. Double standards are a bitch. I must hear dozens of metal bands with lyrics that make The Loved Ones' look like a college paper on metaphysics, but because I can actually make out what The Loved Ones are saying during songs, they have opened themselves up to greater criticism. This effort is lyrically lopsided. Some songs speak in plain English about relatable subject matter. Other songs (Drastic stands out as an example) were obviously written by the singer's angst-filled little brother during a poetry exercise in summer school for the disabled. Maximum sing-along, maximum gibberish. There are so many ways to approach the reviewing process. Is it fair to mention members past bands Is it fair to place any expectations on them because of past bands If, in your opinion, it is NOT fair, please skip to the BOTTOM LINE portion of this review. The rest of you: The Loved Ones are former members of Kid Dynamite and Trial By Fire. THIS IS NOWHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS KID DYNAMITE OR TRIAL BY FIRE. If you enter this with the expectation that it is, your heart will be dashed against the rocks, spit upon, and used as a hacky-sack/colostomy bag. Bottom Line: While not original enough to stand on its own and without the virtuosity to make it stand out within its genre, The Loved Ones S/T is still good. Just not great. Maybe next time.


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gptk_ 3/10/2005 11:29:15 AM


anonymous 3/10/2005 11:48:27 AM

^ gay

weightsfootballANdsex_ 3/10/2005 11:59:52 AM

what a horriblely worded review.

ale_ 3/10/2005 12:03:10 PM

that's ironic coming from someone who can't spell horribly correctly

XOmeletX_ 3/10/2005 12:09:40 PM

"There are cheese elements at work, but it is far from being a pure cheese product such as Cheddar Goldfish." Ahahahahaha First post

rob_mcfeters_ 3/10/2005 12:51:27 PM

i think this is a good review. i understand exactly what this band is like now, and i'll stay the hell away from it.

panzer_ 3/10/2005 2:00:43 PM

Garbage. Why is this on lambgoat? It states clearly below the main image on the top left of the screen "Hardcore // Metal" and this is neither. Ugh.

eatavagina_ 3/10/2005 2:36:12 PM

to the douche bag above me...i thought hardcore came from punk? way to keep an open mind. thats so hardcore of you. and whats wrong with liking other styles of music? afterall....lambgoat used to a be a numetal site. gay.

whoa. _ 3/10/2005 3:54:54 PM

this is clearly hardcore punk. if you dont see that you are deaf or 15 years old with a cd collection consisting of Dead To Fall and Unearth.

goobercore_ 3/10/2005 4:03:12 PM

this band is better than he makes them sound... I'd say they're more along the lines of Lifetime, early STD, maybe Dillinger 4, etc... and uhh, there was such a thing as acoustic punk prior to against me, but whatever.. their demo was definitely better though, and a bit less poppy.

sftp767_ 3/10/2005 5:08:54 PM

i think this band rules

Its Tragic_ 3/10/2005 9:17:47 PM

WTF??!! This band doesnt have any noodly guitar parts or hissing vocals!?!?! Where are the unnecessary keyboard/spooky halloween tape sounds? f*ck YOU LAMGAOTS! U JST LOOSED A F4N! Im GOING BAK TO LISSEN TO ATREYU!!!!111111111 and take pictures of me wearing my sisters clothes and smeared eyeliner and poetry and god and the bible.

Sean Loiselle_ 3/10/2005 10:21:44 PM

You're lucky I didn't get this CD to review because I love it. I wouldn't say it's better or worse than KD, it's different and fantastic.

buternestwhatsthatthingy_ 3/11/2005 10:54:04 AM

I love this ep.