AlbumsNovember 29, 2011•9,785 views

The Plot To Blow Up The Eiffel Tower Love In The Fascist Brothel


01. Reichstag Rock 02. Exile On Vain Street MP3 03. Love In the Sex Prison 04. Vulture Kontrol 05. Rattus Uber Alles 06. Drake the Fake 07. Angry Young and Rich 08. Lipstick SS 09. Lawnmower Love 10. SLC Hunks
2005 Revelation Records
Our score 3

2/26/2005

Man, to be behind the times. To be on the very base of a wave when it crashes, destined to never reach its crest. You are wearing a Von Dutch hat over your faux-hawk. You can't stop talking about this crazy music fest called Coachella. You are clueless. It's adorable, in a way. People take pity on you and humor you, while remarking to themselves "Wow, poor bastard must live in a cave." You can find other lost souls and discuss "totally weird" movies you just discovered, like Donnie Darko or Garden State. Maybe you can even stay up late doing totally awesome "new" drugs like Oxycotin. In your own world, you are the trendsetter. You are on the forefront. You are truly different. But to those of us who didn't come off of farms or kibbutz's or Christian-based home-schooling, this shit just sounds pathetic. It feels like there was a powwow at the Plot house. They finished watching the OC and, after a quick clove-break, discussed the details of the new record. "Let's throw in some aaaawesome dance-y parts! My brother just went to college at Pratt and came back with some of this toootally cool dance punk from Brooklyn!" one says excitedly. "Wait, I just picked up the newest issue of AP. I think there are some good ideas in there... here we go, sing like you don't care!" exclaims another. "Perfect! Guys all we need now is something truly shocking! Something that will set the world on its ear... Something wild!" blurts member #3. "I've got it!" declares #4, "Nazis!... think about it, bro! Everyone hates them. It's ‘provocative!'" From this obviously gifted think-tank comes Love In The Fascist Brothel. This is sassy. This is spazzy. This is boring. Mix the worst parts of what is going on in post punk or "smart hardcore" together, and then make them somehow dumb. Put in the simplest terms possible: it's a brown kaleidoscope. Technically there is a lot going on here, but ultimately it's all the same. They shoot for "ironic detachment" and instead made songs that can really only be told apart by the degree to which they pander, and lyrics that may challenge a very tired 4th grader. When you heard bands like Frail shooting holes in what punk was at the time, it seemed alive and beautiful and natural. On the other hand, when this tripe hits your ears you can't help but feel its calculated attempt to exploit. It would be shameful if it weren't so sadly transparent, like a guy lying about getting hand-release from Giselle. Because it feels as if they need me to comment on the layout to feel validated, I'll humor them. There is a fascist theme at "work" here. But don't misunderstand me. It's a joke. Haha. The band even goes so far as to include caricatures of themselves with vaguely National Socialist-type armbands (way to not go all the way and put swastikas on them, half steppers). It plays heavily on the well-worn "gay Nazi" aesthetic and will really only shock 8th graders and the suits at Wal-Mart. What next guys Kissing one another Shaving one side of your head Dropping out of college Way shocking, bros. If this were 1985 maybe you could get some blowhards running to the PMRC and calling it the downfall of western civilization. But this is 2005 and all you've managed to do is create a layout as quaint and ineffective as your music. Bottom Line: I can't wait for their next album to come out and have Reggaeton elements on it. This is trend-riding garbage, for people who think American Nightmare is Faulkner and The Blood Brothers are Zappa.

53 comments

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xlionox_ 2/26/2005 2:06:31 PM

first post gheyness


anonymous 2/26/2005 2:09:43 PM

holy f'n gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay


din_ 2/26/2005 2:27:37 PM

i loled furiously at the beginning. Grammar error --->Blood Brothers IS.


Wes_ 2/26/2005 2:33:35 PM

hahaha I've never heard this band, but the first few paragraphs are so true, I just sent them to my friend at pratt. Cloves and dance-punk! YEAAAA


rob_mcfeters_ 2/26/2005 2:58:51 PM

excellent review.


eaglesbecomevultures_ 2/26/2005 3:09:24 PM

great review. really well written, though i don't know about an, i always thought they were the new Hemmingway.


din_ 2/26/2005 3:12:55 PM

Funny review too bad it was on how they act rather than how they sound.


izold_ 2/26/2005 3:16:34 PM

if he hates it that much, i have to get it


trauma_ 2/26/2005 3:41:05 PM

What the f*ck is this retard talking about? Worst review ever.


timmypees_ 2/26/2005 3:43:58 PM

what a f*cking gay ass review. thanks for telling us about the record. oh wait, you forgot that part. your parents should kick you out of their house for this


YourMom_ 2/26/2005 3:50:34 PM

This album sucks dck just like the rest of your whining gays. get the c-ck out of your ear and you see how bad it is. and quit crying because someone says it sucks.


socrates_ 2/26/2005 3:51:05 PM

i did not appreciate the "farm" remark


manoman_ 2/26/2005 4:08:57 PM

If I were to give this reviewer a hand job his c-m would be pissed at me due to the fact that it was moving out of it's ball-house and into my jerk. What the hell? Oh shit! I'm on the wrong website again. sorry


incircles_ 2/26/2005 4:51:41 PM

thats f*cking hilarious. hahhaha best review ever.


paradigm_ 2/26/2005 5:15:25 PM

pretty terrible review. what ever happened to actually reviewing the cd, instead of providing a social commentary on new "immature" bands while trying to be funny. yea, we've heard it all before, review the f*cking cd.


yo soy_ 2/26/2005 5:18:56 PM

"This is sassy. This is spazzy. This is boring. Mix the worst parts of what is going on in post punk or "smart hardcore" together, and then make them somehow dumb. Put in the simplest terms possible: it's a brown kaleidoscope. Technically there is a lot going on here, but ultimately it's all the same. They shoot for "ironic detachment" and instead made songs that can really only be told apart by the degree to which they pander, and lyrics that may challenge a very tired 4th grader. " dude, he


DudeMan_ 2/26/2005 5:52:00 PM

I think the review is well written personally... i just think it is inaccurate. It is too easy to dismiss art and bands nowadays as there is an overpopulated cesspool of complete trite shite out for "crazy shock value" and trend-hoppping boredoms. I think the plot is different though. i think they are very relevant and leagues above and beyond whoever you might think their contemporaries are. the nazi schtick is a bit mundayne, I agree. The lyrical content i think offers explanation which you di


wigrammer_ 2/26/2005 6:20:33 PM

awesome f*cking review. this kind of shit is beyond gay. i'm glad this guy told it like it is


picturesofme_ 2/26/2005 6:28:01 PM

you know, I thought I was reading pitchfork media when I clicked on this review. seems accurate. dissing american nightmare, though...for shame.


mindrot_ 2/26/2005 6:45:58 PM

funniest review ive ever read. was this the same guy who smashed highschool metalcore?? haha i love it. maybe if everyone wasnt trying to make hardcore their career there would be less shit bands pandering to highschool mentalities and less "ironically detached" kids sitting in the back at shows being overall pieces of shit.


DeathComesRipping_ 2/26/2005 7:32:46 PM

I agree with those that say this review is shit. I've never heard the band. I know nothing about them, and honestly, i could care less, but there was too much rambling and it comes across as if someone didn't get laid or something. Yeah, "well written," but it was pretty irrelevant to a "review." It was just shit talking. Maybe the band sucks, but you don't have to go overboard and go on a rant about it so you can show off the writing skills you paid to be taught in college. Sorry. Reviews like


platinumdogs_ 2/26/2005 8:05:16 PM

This is a very bad review. Not once was there any sort of detail explaining the "shittiness" of any particular songs. The guy just rambles about how The Plot are sooo trendy and like The Blood Brothers and The OC. Please actually read-up on the band before trying to dismiss them as that. They are not new, they have probably been around for about 4 years, but have been in plenty of crust punk/hardcore bands before The Plot even formed. But you describe this band as if they just decided one day to


matt_ 2/26/2005 8:17:52 PM

whoa, f*ck this pompous reviewer. This guy probably graduated from a local junior college with an associates degree in English lit. This is probably the most unprofessional review I've ever read. He should go back to being a drunk bro undergrad and leave good music alone. This cd is pretty good. Not quite as incredible as the Plot's "Dissertation, Honey" but still an amazing cd. If any of you reading this like different sounding, and jazzy/ non rock sorta music buy it. you'll be glad you d


j_ 2/26/2005 9:20:01 PM

patrick, i love you. this is hilarious.


dutchstep_ 2/27/2005 12:24:01 AM

i stopped reading the review after the third paragraph. ironincally, this seemed more like someone venting on live journal or talking shit on a message board than an actual album review on a respected website. kind of disappointing.


xscottx_ 2/27/2005 12:27:09 AM

Entertaining review.


Cory_ 2/27/2005 1:14:48 AM

the real shitty part of this article is the apparent glorification of Faulkner and Zappa that happens at the end.


holycitybradley_ 2/27/2005 1:31:30 AM

actually having met the guys and having seen them about 4 times, I know that this review is terrible. I generally like Patrick's reviews too. But man, he must have been off his zoloft or something on this one. The band is definately not anyone interested in AP or a von dutch hat. Pretty off point if you are doing an interview to even mention it. Its obvious he didn't look to see if this band had possibly put out any other records because they aren't any "new" band by any means, but one that


k_ 2/27/2005 2:12:30 AM

Dissertation, Honey was f*cking great, the new album was dissappointing compared to it, but this is still a really bad review.


Its Tragic_ 2/27/2005 2:13:52 AM

He didnt at all leave out the music. I figured out exactly what it was going to sound like. Its all there, he just didnt spell it out, and regardless, who wants to hear anything that inspired a rant like that? and...come on, there is an mp3 at the bottom.


idiots_ 2/27/2005 3:46:23 AM

you all know what this shit band sounds like, why do you attack patrick for not stating the obvious? i get a good idea of what it sounds like: shit. because thats how he refers to it repeatedly. regardless if they actually wear von dutch, it was an rearogy you semi-literate dipshits. it is clear that they ARE on this post-punk spazzy bandwagon, because they aren't THAT old, and look at the plethora of other shit bands that sound just like them. wise up, f*ckheads.


to all those...._ 2/27/2005 3:49:38 AM

who feel this is a bad review, i issue a challenge: write a better one. I DARE YOU. you can't. you don't have the wit or knowledge of patrick, nor could you not write 5 paragraphs sucking this band off in one way or another.


mike dikk_ 2/27/2005 3:54:34 AM

You can tell which commenters didn't make it beyond a third grade reading level, because they're the ones who found this review too hard to digest. If you have such enormous problems with reviews why are you even reading a review site? Why don't you just write the names of new CDs on a wall and smash your head against it to see which one you come closest too. Then you can go out and purchase that one and drool on it or whatever it is you people do with CD's. Seriously.


Chulsky_ 2/27/2005 8:51:18 AM

There's a huge difference between a review being difficult to read and one being unnecessarily wordy and off-topic. One paragraph out of five about the actual music is wholly unacceptable for an ALBUM review.


mike dikk_ 2/27/2005 9:58:11 AM

chulsky: I can agree with that, but aren't all reviews on this site around the same length? There's only so many ways you can say something sucks. I think it would be a case of not liking the review style, and Patrick isn't the only person on earth that reviews things like this. Granted, I don't think other reviewers on this site review things in quite the same way, but it's kind of the norm for sites like Pitchfork. I don't think someone should have to compromise their style of writing just bec


xjacixcorex_ 2/27/2005 11:55:28 AM

way to be the most ignorant ever.


Retarded Reviewer_ 2/27/2005 12:22:03 PM

who feel this is a bad review, i issue a challenge: write a better one. I DARE YOU. you can't. you don't have the wit or knowledge of patrick, nor could you not write 5 paragraphs sucking this band off in one way or another. posted by to all those.... () on 2/27/2005 3:49:38 AM And Patrick says he doesn't post on the comments section. What an incredible, pompous ass.


anonymous 2/27/2005 5:56:44 PM

i dont see why it matters so much anyways, shit band. why make a big deal if the review is crap? this band sucks anyways.


godless_ 2/27/2005 6:26:11 PM

hahah yeah these gusy suck ass.. the last song "slc hunks" is them crying about how they got their asses kicked in salt lake for being complete homos.. like spiting and throwing shit at the crowd.. good review


anonymous 2/27/2005 10:16:43 PM

everything this guy said is true. f*ck you haters. 10/10 for the reviewer -100100101010/0 for the flaggol band that sold out and also, i thought it was van dutch? maybe im wrong.


pretenditsfiction_ 2/28/2005 12:13:44 PM

Honestly... this review means nothing. In fact, a majority of the things you read on this site are unimportant. So to all the kids who are upset with this review, just stop. Go to a more respectable source for your news.


I_AM_FUCK_ 2/28/2005 1:16:40 PM

Who is this idiot and why is he writing album reviews? Way to try to validate your own "coolness" by making irrelevant references to everything but the band's music. Based on this review it seems that this writer is far more concerned with proving some gay elitism than making a fair assessment of music. Get rid of this gay now.


charles cure_ 2/28/2005 1:32:09 PM

this site usually has lots of stupid things to say about everything. i think patricks review hits pretty close to the mark on this one. all the people who are saying he isnt reviewing their music, keep in mind what this band looks like and sounds like (and yes i have heard them and seen them play) to bands like this, their image is as important, if not more important than their sound. patrick is reviewing them on their own terms. people are f*cked if they cant deal with their own style being fla


The_Gentleman_ 2/28/2005 6:20:58 PM

Childish review. Keep your reviews to the music, no matter how bad it is (and it is). I don't read music reviews to get an opinion on the current state of your local scene.


anonymous 3/2/2005 10:56:29 AM

probably this dudes best review. if you cant understand that he completely reviewed this cd, then youre not competent.


gfsd_ 3/3/2005 9:27:51 AM

gay shit


XdougX_ 3/4/2005 7:48:01 AM

I met these guys and they are awesome. I don't kno why you say they suck. Actually... I have never met these guys. I just felt left out. They R Teh Gay!111@222!11!!!!!!TWO


krist_ 3/6/2005 6:40:44 PM

this is the worst review i've ever read. you guys will f*ck blow worn out bands like converge, 100 demons hatebreed or any other generic garbage for f*cking everything they touch, so when you hear some originality you quickly pull the trend card. these guys have been making trend setting music for years, and you just reveiw whats cool and if its not on your little list of wow kids like this band roster you throw around some cheesy uninsightful cliches. you guys wouldn't know talent if it was fu


the guy_ 3/6/2005 7:08:34 PM

This is the worst band ever. I hope they die. Damn gays


Jackie_ 3/7/2005 3:54:58 PM

this is f*cking gay ass gay shit. f*cking pssy ass gay queers.


Ben_ 3/14/2005 3:56:07 AM

yeah, ok there you scenster. pull your bandana out of your butt and get off your lip ringed high horse. actually listen to the album and you'd realize the Plot are the best of these post-punk/hardcore bands (whatever you're calling them) around. Better than Mannequin, Transistor Transistor, Stop It!, etc. etc. Stop trying to show off your vocabulary and maybe work on actually reviewing the album


slice your face_ 11/20/2005 9:46:02 AM

the plot - annoyingxcore


Dillon_ 2/13/2007 3:32:36 AM

this band sucks donkey dck, I have never been more offended then when I attempt to listen to this bullshti music