Home > Albums > Article

Crotchduster Big Fat Box Of Shit

12,351 views
1. True Nature of Williams 2. Big Top Williams 3. Cain Sings The Blues 4. Let Me Into Starfish Land MP3 5. Mr. Indignant Erection 6. Mammal Sauce 7. Jogging In Hell 8. Stars Ingenious Cooter (Live) 9. Crotchopus
2004 Willowtip Records
Our score 9

by Cory
12/22/2004

I don't think there is an accurate way to designate a numeral to Crotchduster's Big Fat Box of Shit. It is as if Capharnaum's Jason Suecof channeled every ounce of humor and metal from his being into one tremendous platter of music that's as disturbing as it is hilarious and random. Much like Dave Brockie and Mike Patton before him, Suecof has stretched the definitions of metal and even music to create something so entirely ridiculous, it's either inane or genius. I am personally inclined to lean towards genius, but let's explore it a bit further. The basic "formula" for the songs on this record is to cram as many random musical vignettes as possible into one song. That could include everything from impressions of notable metal bands to rapping to goofy circus music and more. While this could've easily been terrible, the execution is just too damn good. It's like the metal album version of the best sketch comedy you can think of. It seems that besides his obvious talent manifested in Capharnaum, Suecof has a musical knowledge and versatility that is only made more apparent through the humor inherent in its delivery. Description of the music is pointless. There is a twisted imagination behind this record that ensures no description could ever do it justice. I can say that the production was spot on at every point on this record, no matter what style of music Crotchduster was playing. The funk, showtunes and power metal sounded just as good as the blastbeats and growls. 99% of the lyrics deal with some sort of filthy sexual activity and the rest involve killing the Dutch and Boba Fett. Bottom Line: If you like metal and don't laugh your ass off at this record, you're probably wearing corpse paint, panties or a little military cap right now. As long as you don't take yourself, metal or sex too seriously, Crotchduster's Big Fat Box of Shit will crack you up, make you cringe and, most importantly, press play again and again. Don't think about it too hard. Just go with it.

Comments (55) post new comment
mrwong_ 12/22/2004 12:09:40 PM

First Post


vegans_taste_good_ 12/22/2004 12:23:30 PM

great cd, i love it much


anonymous 12/22/2004 12:44:13 PM

im not going to say it sucks but it certainly isnt for me and it sucks really bad


hotaction_ 12/22/2004 1:41:53 PM

i got this a month ago and now i dont ever need to buy another cd again. BEST CD EVER


Jack12_ 12/22/2004 1:48:59 PM

9/10? That's just sad...


xcorruptx_ 12/22/2004 2:13:26 PM

seriously...first you say you've never listened to disembodied, then you say that this garbage should be a 9/10. Its getting harder and harder to trust your reviews....


anonymous 12/22/2004 2:17:00 PM

eh, def. not my bag...


Cory_ 12/22/2004 2:17:01 PM

My official score for this album was a question mark. The "9" was attributed by Mr. Lambgoat himself. If you have an issue with the score, take it up with him. I'd say if we were ranking humorous metal albums, this one would be a 9. I don't compare Billy Madison to Seven Samurai, but enjoy both equally for what they are supposed to be. Get a clue.


Jack12_ 12/22/2004 2:34:28 PM

Get a clue? What are you my twelve year old sister?


Mark_ 12/22/2004 2:50:09 PM

10/10


Cory_ 12/22/2004 2:53:45 PM

Yes. I am your twelve year old sister. Get a girlfriend so you won't have to come into my room at night and pleasure while I'm asleep. It's creepy, you f*cking loser.


thatguy_ 12/22/2004 3:45:05 PM

my twelve year old sister should not here this


paradigm_ 12/22/2004 4:02:43 PM

leave the guy alone. god forbid somebody has a f*cking opinion.


twodegreesbelow_ 12/22/2004 4:08:14 PM

first 3 inches of blood, now this crap? cmon, man. you should know better.


orion_ 12/22/2004 4:15:05 PM

"It's not about reviewing good music, it's about scoring scene points with the labels" - Cory


volta_ 12/22/2004 4:15:27 PM

wow, cory, what an ass. regardless of what anyone thinks of the album, you should have a little more respect for your readership.


Cory_ 12/22/2004 4:18:46 PM

Alright everyone I apologize, you were right and I was wrong. But please don't make me give up my scene points.


hotaction_ 12/22/2004 4:24:15 PM

you guys are all douschebags. if you cant appreciate this album then you are either taking it wayyyyy to seriously or its time to turn in the scene hat and start pimping out your ride. relax.


a_new_religion_ 12/22/2004 5:15:53 PM

this the best song ive ever heard. 2 thumbs up!!


yousuck_ 12/22/2004 5:16:43 PM

the music, no matter what style, is played expertly on this cd. and thats a fact. if you cant accept that then you have no idea what music is. the fact is, the lyrics are funny. so shut the f*ck up


nightmare_ 12/22/2004 7:22:31 PM

this cd is awesome


Ohhhhh_ 12/22/2004 7:31:56 PM

His readership? You only have a select few who actual comprehend what reviews are and what they are meant for. f*ck the stupid little number at the top, all you kids do is compare. "Dude this got a 9 and 'my favorite band' got a 5?" Just read the damn review if you want and make your call, but don't make judgements on scoring when bands are NOTHING alike.


anonymous 12/22/2004 7:32:40 PM

the music, no matter what style, is played expertly on this cd. and thats a fact. if you cant accept that then you have no idea what music is. the fact is, the lyrics are funny. so shut the f*ck up posted by yousuck () on 12/22/2004 5:16:43 PM


dutchstep_ 12/22/2004 8:54:00 PM

definitely a fun and hilarious CD but a few of the songs are just boring. but the last track and "mammal sauce" own all. the mail reading at the end of the CD is worth the money you'd spend on it.


nig_ 12/22/2004 9:16:53 PM

low brow gay humor, it's just as funny as team america world police


you fucking idiots_ 12/22/2004 9:25:42 PM

Wow, you guys need to get a life. Do you realize your starting an argument over a band called Crotchduster. I could go on, but I have better things to do.


vegans_tastE_good_ 12/22/2004 9:47:52 PM

the humor may be childish, and such. but i think it is funny, i would rather listen to this than some wigger in a bandana screaming about scene unity or some fruit in tight pants screaming about some girl cutting herself.


dogg_shit_ 12/22/2004 11:26:03 PM

brilliant album!!


anonymous 12/22/2004 11:30:58 PM

"the humor may be childish, and such. but i think it is funny, i would rather listen to this than some wigger in a bandana screaming about scene unity or some fruit in tight pants screaming about some girl cutting herself." ha ha ha ha!!


Cory_ 12/23/2004 12:08:33 AM

The comment about "scene points" wasn't even me. If I wanted to get in good with labels, I wouldn't trash records frequently AND I would probably give their real albums good reviews instead of their fake ones. I thought this shit was funny, and as I stated before, I DID NOT give it a 9. I won't argue with the score it has. Something that makes you laugh can have as much value as something that breaks artistic boundaries.


Mikey216_ 12/23/2004 12:15:07 AM

This is why I hate putting number scores with album reviews. People don't even pay attention to the words, they just bitch about the score. Quit your whining you bitches.


oh_the_humanity_ 12/23/2004 12:38:52 AM

this record is f*ckin' genious. if you don't like this you either a)have no sense of humour or b)don't appreciate pure mu'f*ckin thrashin'.


Hxcobd_ 12/23/2004 2:52:56 AM

"low brow gay humor, it's just as funny as team america world police" I second that. If this is genius, then I don't want to have an IQ over 10. I f*cking hate this CD, and this band. Willowtip had been on such a roll before releasing this piece of shit. Humorous metal = needs to die


xCERVIX DESTROYERx_ 12/23/2004 9:27:35 AM

anyone who shits on this album is a f*cking retard and obviously couldn't make it through more than 10 seconds of a single track. the number of old thrash references and mock covers, and all the death metal rips are f*cking brilliant.


Lystrom_ 12/23/2004 1:52:39 PM

Seeing as how 99% of the kids on this site download their music for free off the internet, I don't think they have any ground to be preaching a band unless they've actually gone out and boughten the record. (This is where everyone responds with a lie about how they buy their stuff)


leach_ 12/23/2004 2:00:04 PM

dude, that guy just said 'boughten.'


orion_ 12/23/2004 2:07:03 PM

Boughten is a word... http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=boughten


Dude Wheres My Boner_ 12/23/2004 6:00:38 PM

I pre-ordered this album before it came out on Willowtip, based solely on "Mammal Sauce". This whole album is incredible, hilarious, genius, etc. etc. etc. I suppose if I had the "I believe in REAL metal, REAL metal will never die" bug up my ass, I'd probably be a sissy bitch about this album. f*ck everybody, this album is great and one of my all time favorites.


xseanLIFEx_ 12/23/2004 6:28:08 PM

"low brow gay humor, it's just as funny as team america world police" I second that. If this is genius, then I don't want to have an IQ over 10. I f*cking hate this CD, and this band. Willowtip had been on such a roll before releasing this piece of shit. Humorous metal = needs to die" don't flatter yourself. most of the shitheels who post on here don't have an IQ above one, and are about as open minded as klansman. brilliant album, perfect review. get f*cked if you disagree.


anonymous 12/24/2004 8:09:38 AM

yeah this cd sucks and you gays suck for liking it


Shit of paradox_ 12/24/2004 12:56:04 PM

Not Kvlt enough for me...No TrOo MetaL!!!...way too...Underground....


dr. bronz_ 12/25/2004 1:28:32 AM

only a fat jew cripple could write the best album of 2004. highly original and hilarious.


morrissey_ 12/25/2004 12:57:52 PM

I don't look to music for humor. no laugh


XomeletX_ 12/25/2004 9:46:20 PM

Yeah, they're talented. Yeah, they mix 50865967 different genres of music seemlessly. I won't deny any of that. It still doesn't amuse me. I listen to rear c*nt if I want a laugh.


ugly_old_guy_ 12/26/2004 8:04:24 PM

i like how heated an argument you can get over a f*cking toilet humor band called crothduster. dumbf*cks


Cory_ 12/27/2004 4:04:20 AM

i like how this album is just called "big fat box of shit" but i haven't done anything to fix this rather blatant error.


JASON SUECOF_ 12/28/2004 12:31:13 AM

you know what.. i was just tryin to have some fun!!!! not my fault if i dont f*ckin listen to mayhem naked, and check for the most obscure metal album on ebay. lets make out


Neckdeep_ 12/29/2004 1:48:42 PM

You want a comedy CD? Try: David Cross, Patton Oswalt, Richard Pyor, Eddie Murphy, etc. Hell, even Weird Al beats this. But hey, some people think it's funny...I wish I did, but I don't. If you like the riffs in this go buy the guy's real metal band Capharnaum and leave the comedy separate from the metal.


onemanfistfight_ 1/5/2005 6:25:08 PM

Hearing anyone sing "Let me lick your jerk" opera-style is good enough for me.


rat_ 1/14/2005 2:47:24 AM

this record is f*cking brilliant


Seth_ 1/27/2005 9:40:37 PM

This is a great album by really talented musicians. All you people who down it, and call it crap are too hardcore. You need to lighten up and respect something that you yourself could never create in your derivative lifetime.


Bill_ 1/28/2005 8:22:05 AM

Best CD ever. If you don't have it, you suck.


h4unt3dfx_ 9/6/2005 12:34:32 PM

Hahaha, well you do have a sense of humor. This album is incredibly awesome. The randomness is just... it's too fun. One of the best things about this album is just trying to figure out what's going to happen next. It's simply the most retarded thing i've ever heard but it's done quite skillfully. I wish there was a little more metal sound but eh, whatever. Cory, your bottom line comment is quite funny. Kudos.


xAndThenYouDiex_ 12/5/2005 9:19:21 AM

A.D.D.-Core!!! this cd should be committed to memory by EVERY person EVER


dawson_ 1/10/2006 11:35:31 PM

This album is hilarious. It's too bad that sceneXedge kids aren't allowed to have a sense of humour, they might actually appreciate the technicality and the creativity on this disc. Oh wait, my bad. Did I just say scene and creative in the same sentence? Face it, y'all are just mad cuz they didn't make any of their songs sound more like Between The Buried And Me. Cuz, y'know, BTBAM is liekk s0000 d3thXXXcore!!! XMETALX Please. Get off your myspaces and listen to Crotchduster.