Recent movie reviews/ratings thread

Bucky, just watch Fame. That's all you need.

is it because the monster is a pine tree

I think I was attempting to portray the antagonist as something of a stationary object, hard to move, unable to grow – deadwood.

Safe House - 6/10
nothing special, some good action, ryan reynolds actually isn't that bad.

The Dictator - 7/10
I think all of Cohen's movies are funny, they're fucking stupid but funny movies.

I liked The Dictator too. Even though I couldn't stand Borat or Bruno.

the cabin in the woods was the best horror movie ive seen in ages

fourthgradecocktease 5/28/2012 9:11:54 PM
the cabin in the woods was the best horror movie ive seen in ages

it was pretty sweet.

World's Greatest Dad - 7/10. Robin Williams is friendly and sad and forms something of a person to rally around. Bobcat Goldthwait makes that easy by making everyone else a douchebag. But still. It's a great set-up, it really is, but it stops short of the fences. There's no build-up to that final reveal that makes it seem like it just has to come. Therefore: a fine, competent movie. 



Bronson - 8.5/10. Motherfucker, I loved the fuck out of this. It's like 'Amelie' with a bad guy, which may make it sound worse than it is, but fuck, it fits. There is no way in which I did not love this. Tom Hardy is a fucking star.



Tucker And Dale Vs. Evil - 3/10. Nothing particularly offensive about this, I just ain't find the jokes funny. 



The Hunt For Red October - 5/10. My boy Johnny McTiernan wrings some tension out of the scenario, but only so much.



The Descendants - 7/10. I CANNAE REMEMBER MUH THOUGHTS ON THIS MOVIE. It was reserved, almost too reserved, until that moment at the end when it all came out? Something like that. It's called crescendo, motherfucker.



Gosford Park - 7/10. It's well put-together. I guess that's what Altman does, with all his many parts. He did it again! Yay!




Jarhead - 7/10. It's certainly an interesting movie with all of its middling about. The ennui, as all of the reviewers say. There's just no way to leave this movie without a sense of being unfulfilled because, like, that's what this movie's about, dog.




Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance - 7/10. I hardly remember watching this but I wrote down 7 out of 10, so I'll trust that. I think I got confused by which characters were what characters. Reminded me of 'Blood Simple,' with everything turning bad for everything.

Bronson? More like Dogsh,tson

Dragline, you wrong, bro.

Punisher War Zone - 2/10. Dominic Monaghan is a bad actor in everything but 'The Wire.' Just watch 'Death Wish' over this overblown nonsense.



Ghost Rider 2: Spirit Of Vengeance - 4/10. From the directors of Crank? You've caught my eye, little sparkle. Everything they're good at – style, speed… pretty much those two things, I guess – is good. Everything they're not good at – plot – is not good. Whenever it slows down to speak, it fuuuuucking slows down. Everything you need to know about Ghost Rider is in the fucking name  – we want to see a guy with a flaming skull for a face ride a motorcycle. They make it a plot point to take that away altogether. Just shut the fuck up and give us what we want, you pissants. Now's not the time for clever.



The Secret World of Arriety - 8.5/10. An extremely kind and gentle movie, action bros. My favorite of the Miyazaki family (by far) (and he didn't direct this one!). The most linear of the Ghibli movies I've seen, which I desperately needed from the other Ghibli movies I've seen. Quiet and soulful. A slight misstep at the end ruins the beauty of the ambiguity, but fuck it, I'll forgive it. (And apparently it's not in the original version, just tacked on to the American. Anywayz.)



Hunger Games - 6.5/10. Reads like a good first season of a TV show. I wish it was a TV show. What's the use of introducing characters if you can't grow to care about them and then get sad or joyful when you watch them die? Too many people. What seems like scheming is actually just sincerity. Production value of a TV show, too. Fashion is odd – an amalgamation of things, never its own thing. That's the feel of the movie – a whole bunch of shit crammed into two hours, never finding an identity. Katniss is an easy hero. Make her make hard decisions. Make her fight her way through. Things happen around her.




Cabin In The Woods - 8/10. Hello, friends, do you like to have a good time at the movies?



The Girl With Dragon Tattoo - 7.5/10. A very exciting thriller, I just have no idea why she's so fucking important to the whole thing. It's really more of his movie, isn't it? I mean, she's cool, and she adds some sadness and pain, but some of that's just secondary to the primary. Gripes, that's all.



The Raid: Redemption - 7/10. Less fun than it should have been. Fantastic premise, just wish it didn't take itself so seriously. They should've thrown a little bit of comic book in there. A little more 'The Warriors.' I hope America remakes it!

Mulan - 7/10. It's not really talked about and from that era when people stopped caring, but it's surprisingly good. Its songs, mostly. Eddie Murphy's practices his annoying side-character voice. It's annoying. Jackie Chan sings a super-serious version of 'I'll Make A Man Out Of You' on the DVD extras. 




Crazy, Stupid, Love - 7/10. 'The Kids Are Alright' and 'Hitch.' It's very amiable and sometimes funny, but it's got a sticky-sweet core that's partly icky and partly disingenuous. It's easy not to think about it.



The Avengers - 8/10. Fun as shit. Joss Whedon is the star of the movie, but he's also its weakness – a television director's sense of things. It's all big, but it doesn't look or feel big. Some scenes are outright poorly done. Do you think this motherfucker cares?

Rampart 6.5/10
liked a lot of what they did and where they were going, but it's not something i would ever watch again

Battleship 4/10
honestly, i thought this would be better. rihnna wears a sleeveless hoods shirt and tries way too hard to be vasquez from Aliens. not enough liam neeson.

too on mobile device, but I give:

2001: a space odyssey 4.5/5
The Thing 3.5/5
Red Dawn 3.5/5

Get The Gringo- pretty alright/10
Mel Gibson's new movie. I liked it a fair bit. some things about it I thought were pretty swell. worth seeking out if I were you.

Another Day In Paradise- fairly well/10
I'd probably let James Woods stick my penis his mouth. sure, why not?

The Raid: Redemption- haven't watched it yet/10
have this downloaded. I'll watch it eventually. dollars to donuts....probably donuts. I'm hungry.

Game of Thrones- HODOR/10
Where's her dragons, bro? I like that one guy with the burnt up face.

Ken Park- weenis/10
too many wieners. couldn't stop whackin' it to have an honest review.

Strange Brew- Eh?/10
This is the only movie I'm ever gonna watch in the future. can't really be bothered with anything else.