i hate being alive

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zordy 6/13/2018 4:16:48 PM
i swear to god this sukks so much ass
zordy 6/13/2018 4:17:16 PM
id kill myself right f*kkin now but then the world wins so im honestly just existing in spite of god
julesitsjeni 6/13/2018 4:17:43 PM
How is in in spite?
zordy 6/13/2018 4:17:54 PM
all i do is work and i dont know why
zordy 6/13/2018 4:18:23 PM
because the world wants me to kill myself, including god--thats become pretty evident
zordy 6/13/2018 4:18:37 PM
so im just existing in spite of god wanting me to kill myself
zordy 6/13/2018 4:19:46 PM
i want to die but its so hard to just leave shit as it is because i feel so f*kked over by everything. its like if i kill myself then they win, but at the same time i dont want to be alive.
zordy 6/13/2018 4:20:45 PM
i cant take 2 steps in life without getting f*kked over, its like 1 step forward--and then 3 steps back
wee_bastid 6/13/2018 4:22:33 PM
it's okay zordy, the world doesn't give a fck about you. take solace in that.
zordy 6/13/2018 4:23:31 PM
ive called the suicide hotline but that shit is honestly a joke. if you just want somebody to talk to then they cant really help you, they can only help you if you are on the stool about to hang yourself because then they can send the police. i never get why people tell everybody to call the suicide hotline lol, its not like those people care about you its just their job
wwjd 6/13/2018 4:24:34 PM
How does the world win? I doubt anyone cares
zordy 6/13/2018 4:24:49 PM
wee_bastid 6/13/2018 4:22:33 PM
it's okay zordy, the world doesn't give a fck about you. take solace in that.


i know which is why it sukks so bad to kill myself. i had so much to give and all i got was f*kked over and isolated. idk how it got to this
zordy 6/13/2018 4:27:49 PM
wwjd 6/13/2018 4:24:34 PM
How does the world win? I doubt anyone cares

thats my point, ill die and it doesnt even matter because the world crushed me and won. they think im a worthless piece of shit, and clearly i am since im killing myself. its become evident everybody wants me to kill myself. i cant even keep a therapist, ive lost so many because they just cant even deal with the existential crisis that i live. i cant see it in their eyes that they have no idea how to actually deal with my problems. its like they cant even take hearing about my life because its that depressing
zordy 6/13/2018 4:29:21 PM
the world has no idea how to deal with zordy and i cant deal with the world
julesitsjeni 6/13/2018 4:30:18 PM
I'm genuinely sorry you feel that way.
Generally, no one will care about you like you do.
There are ways out of the rat race but none of them are easy.
But the easy things arent really fun. Like giving up.
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