Well I'm screwed

seriousloser 9/13/2017 12:33:23 PM
So last night as I was going into my gfs house, her cat ran out the door and down the street. We spent nearly 4 hours looking for it before we decided to give it a rest. It's nearly impossible to find a black cat at midnight.

So, this morning I wake up to go get some donuts, and as I'm pulling away I hear BUMP BUMP. At first I thought I ran over a rock or something so I keep going down the block, then I remembered the cat was outside and it had started raining overnight. I go back to check and surprise, it was the cat. I ran over the fcking cat. Right over the spine. I freak out and check on the cat. It's twitching. I realize I can't leave it there because that's where I always park and she would figure it out. I go to my trunk and get a bag and scoop it into the bag.

At this point I'm not thinking straight. Anxiety takes over. I start driving, with the results of the scenario playing out in my head. Next thing I know I'm at Dunkin' Donuts. I toss the cat in the dumpster and get my donuts and head to work. A few hours pass and my gf calls me and tells me she came home from work early to look for the cat and saw blood all over where my car was. She starts bawling and asking me if I hit the cat. Of course I deny it and I tell her I saw another car park there after I pulled away.

Now she won't answer the phone or respond to my texts.

I'm screwed.
easyhateoven 9/13/2017 12:40:33 PM
Hahahaha
cervical_lancer 9/13/2017 7:48:26 PM
Who keeps bags in their trunk?
celine 9/13/2017 7:58:30 PM
I think the funniest oart is that this goober idiot keeps coming up with 3 paragraph "jokes" for the rare possibilityof a single positive reply. Its like, holy shit. The guy behind this gimnick is a real person who spends hours, days, weeks doing this shit for no applause, no one requests it... its fcking amazing
celine 9/13/2017 7:59:22 PM
Its crazy how this place attracts aspies
f1amingo_man 9/13/2017 8:34:27 PM
During my peak gimmick days I worked on my stories 10 hrs a day 7 days a week, there were maps and charts all over my walls, notebooks and notebooks filled with timelines, I even had to go from full-time to part-time at my job just to make time for it all
seriousloser 9/13/2017 8:55:43 PM
3 paragraph threads are due to the average goaters attention span. Any longer and they don't bother with it.

Also, the bags are in my trunk because when I go through the self checkout at Kroger the bags stick together.

And here's the update: she came to my work and apologized and is still very sad and emotional about not knowing where her cat is, so I took her out to Smashburger and bought her some lunch then went to the pet store and got guilted into buying her cat toys for when it comes back home.
Spent a few hours looking for it too, but fortunately for me someone said they saw the cat a few blocks down.
tomdelay 9/13/2017 9:13:12 PM
Stay strong homie

Good sex in your future
seriousloser 9/13/2017 10:48:50 PM
I found a cat that looks exactly the same up for adoption. I might go pick it up tomorrow.
kort 9/13/2017 11:52:41 PM
nice!