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Jonny Craig sells, but who's buying?

2/16/2013 7:29:16 AM
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Troubled singer Jonny Craig is trying to raise $20,000 for a solo EP.
Jonny Craig


If you read the news section on this very site, you may have noticed that Jonny Craig launched an Indiegogo campaign this past week to raise funds for a solo EP. Crowdfunding is an increasingly popular move these days, so it's not a big deal, right?

On the surface, it is indeed standard fare. However, if you know anything about Jonny Craig, it's a curious move. This is the same guy who defrauded fans in a MacBook Internet scam, subsequently entered rehab for drug addiction, was then kicked out of Emarosa, later jailed on narcotics charges, and ultimately booted from Dance Gavin Dance.

I don't personally know Craig. He may really be a good guy; drug addiction is a horrible thing and it can make people do horrible things. But it takes some real hubris to ask fans for money when you have a history so absurdly rife with broken promises. But let's face it, Craig has essentially been forced into this awkward position. He's burned almost every bridge in sight, even alienating his most reliable ally - Rise Records.

Desperation without humility is a recipe for intrigue, and here we are. Jonny Craig asks fans for $20,000 to record and release a solo EP. He does this via a poorly recorded YouTube video in which he dons sunglasses and puts his boots up on the table, all in the shadow of a MacBook. If that's not a big "fuck you" to the haters, I don't know what is. Not only that, but some of the perks offered for this campaign are straight out of the "I'm a superstar" playbook. If you contribute $150, Craig will call you and sing to you. Craig says, "Pretty awesome, right?" No, not really. And not suprisingly, only one person has claimed that perk. Chip in $250, and Craig will post a YouTube video in which he personally thanks you. OMG, a public video in which Craig talks directly to ME?! No dice; 0 out of 25 claimed thus far.

If you have some real money to burn and you adore Jonny Craig, you can spend $500 to have dinner with him. 0 out of 10 claimed. For $1000, Craig will sing few songs for you a cappella in "your own private performance." Of course you must be in a city on his upcoming tour. So basically, you'll be shoved into a dressing room, stand there and watch Craig sing two songs, then you're out. Does this guy think he's Frank Sinatra? 0 out of 5 claimed. In fact, only a single big ticket item on the perks list has been purchased - somebody paid $2,500 to perform on one of the EP's tracks. But that says more about the person who paid the money than it does about Craig.


Twitter


His fans are purchasing some signed EPs, magazines, and t-shirts, but these are inexpensive, small risk items. As of today, February 16, a total of $8,365 has been raised. That's a repectable amount, but this is Jonny fucking Craig. The guy was supposed to be an indie star. He has 79,000 Twitter followers, whom he has bombarded with mentions of this campaign for the last several days. 79,000 followers, complete scene media saturation (Alternative Press, Absolute Punk etc.) regarding this campaign, and only 190 people have put money on the table? Jonny Craig is out there selling himself, and very few people are buying.

There are still 37 days left for the Indiegogo campaign, and he'll probably reach $20,000 eventually. But I'm confident that Craig thought he'd already be there at this point. I suspect he was hoping for some Protest The Hero type action. As you may recall, Protest The Hero raised $125,000 in little more than a day (they eventually got $341,000). Four days in, and Craig is struggling to raise one tenth of that number. Craig may have an inflated ego, but he's not stupid. He chose Indiegogo over Kickstarter for a good reason - if you don't meet your goal in Kickstarter, you don't get a dime. With Indiegogo, you can still get your money, albeit with an increased fee. Craig can't afford, neither figuratively nor literally, to walk away with nothing in this case. He's out of options.

I hope things work out for Jonny Craig. I hope he turns his life around, puts out a solid EP, and becomes a responsible, contributing member of society. But I wouldn't bet on it. And it doesn't appear that even his biggest fans are betting on it either.


Comments
anonymous   posted 2/16/2013 8:20:14 AM
Smack dealers are stoked.
anonymous   posted 2/16/2013 9:27:00 AM
If read
anonymous   posted 2/16/2013 9:48:45 AM
typo in the first two words? seriously? hire me.
anonymous   posted 2/16/2013 10:04:16 AM
he's a piece of shit
anonymous   posted 2/16/2013 10:23:11 AM
That 20G's is going straight to dope and hookers
anonymous   posted 2/16/2013 12:47:10 PM
Life flip.
anonymous   posted 2/16/2013 4:06:21 PM
i knew this piece of garbage, people would drive 6 hours from where we were just to say hi/give him drugs/suck is infected dck. he was one of the reasons my buddy ended up in rehab and almost died in a car accident. i will forever look down on this jerk, he will forever be a fiend of some sort in my eyes, he is an abomination.
anonymous   posted 2/17/2013 1:55:30 AM
Anonymous, you're hired!
GenghisJohn   posted 2/17/2013 11:33:14 AM
I hope he realises what a f*cking junkie failure he is and ODs on heroin bought using money that was supposed to fund his "EP". This gay deserves no less
ineedmoresalt   posted 2/17/2013 1:11:59 PM
anonymous posted 20 hours ago
i knew this piece of garbage, people would drive 6 hours from where we were just to say hi/give him drugs/suck is infected dck. he was one of the reasons my buddy ended up in rehab and almost died in a car accident. i will forever look down on this jerk, he will forever be a fiend of some sort in my eyes, he is an abomination.

you mad bro? but seriously, that dude is sketchy
anonymous   posted 2/17/2013 2:23:06 PM
How does this dude still have a mac?.....
anonymous   posted 2/17/2013 6:04:42 PM
"troubled singer" lol
anonymous   posted 2/17/2013 7:00:09 PM
Scenesters jumping at the opportunity to use pejorative "sketchy" are stoked.
GenghisJohn   posted 2/17/2013 8:01:46 PM
give this f*ckin junkie cash to fuel his demise, then scratch your brainless heads and wonder "why?"

gay has to die and obviously begs it.
anonymous   posted 2/17/2013 10:23:19 PM
my new shits got that making of a legend feel... haha... i do not think you can be in dance gavin dance and become a legend.
anonymous   posted 2/17/2013 10:51:56 PM
i guess he has to buy a band, so he needs to pay them, so a good portion of the 20 is used there. one can make, and release, a solid ep for under $7000.
anonymous   posted 2/17/2013 11:51:46 PM
http://www.youtube.com/wat ch?v=3cwie8OyulI

This is the gay that payed $2,500... He can't even get out of falsetto. Hahahahahahahaa
308   posted 2/18/2013 3:38:26 AM
I'll beat his stupid f*cking ass
anonymous   posted 2/18/2013 9:37:50 AM
"he was one of the reasons my buddy ended up in rehab and almost died in a car accident." dude don't say that. ya he may be sketchy as f*ck but your friend apparently forgot to just say no
anonymous   posted 2/18/2013 4:49:11 PM
In all honesty I believe in second chances. I don't see him as a scumbag, just a guy trying to get his life together and get back on track with his career. and he's not the first artist I've seen who's had to raise money to put out a? new EP or album. If you like Jonny then help him out.
anonymous   posted 2/18/2013 5:17:59 PM
"If you like Jonny then..."

Well, that settles it, then. No one could possibly LIKE this enormous gay, could they? Guys? G-guys?
anonymous   posted 2/18/2013 5:57:00 PM
This e.p will be Johnny's magnum opus when it's released. Then we'll see who's laughing last you bunch salad tossers
anonymous   posted 2/19/2013 7:26:51 AM
it probably will be his magnum opus. and it'll be comparable to kidz bop 11 at best. I can't even think of anything shitty enough and unsuccessful enough to compare this dipshit to that would be comparable. Kidz bops sells. Johnny Craig doesn't, never has, and never will. But I'm sure he'll pinch off a loaf of shit that his teenage twitter followers will eat up, and he'll brag about his 1,500 "self-generated" record sales to anyone that will listen at his local bar until the day he dies.
anonymous   posted 2/19/2013 9:51:33 AM
f*ck this loser. If I ever come across him in Sac he's getting smashed. Paybacks a bitch kid.
anonymous   posted 2/19/2013 10:26:54 AM
i would contribute if one of the perks was something like '200$ - hit jonny craig in the face with a claw hammer'
anonymous   posted 2/19/2013 10:30:38 AM
another confirmed sociopath. add him to the list of recent entries with Manti Te'o and Lance Armstrong. apparently there's no shortage these days
anonymous   posted 2/21/2013 12:19:01 PM
I've been in a band and recorded a professional quality full length cd for about 1,000 dollars. f*ck jonny craig
anonymous   posted 2/22/2013 8:52:45 AM
hey jonny where's my macbook
anonymous   posted 2/22/2013 12:58:17 PM
Why would people donate money to him after what he did the last time?
unbrokenmuffin   posted 324 days ago
i think all of you are pieces of sht for putting yourselves in a place where your higher than jonny.. everybody makes mistakes and are fcked up in some way. jonny, see you in atl bro. do your thing. your an amazing artist and have earned your right to be an asshle.. btw new sht is amazing and i will listen to you as long as you make music.
anonymous   posted 50 days ago
His new album is amazing, I guess he used the money to make a new album, I believe in Jonny, I've never been addicted to drugs nor taken any so I would not know how it's feels to be addicted, ya'll think jonny is a horrible person, but it's not him that's doing all the horrible things he did, if he was sober he would of never scammed anyone with mac computers, it's the drugs that make people do stupid stuff stop bringing up the past and look foward to the future..