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Any touring band members want to get married for health insurance?

3/31/2012 7:18:49 AM PT   comments [26]

This is one of the stranger submissions we've received via our contact form in recent years, but it seems somewhat practical, right? Perhaps in addition to being mutually beneficial, a love connection will be made.

Here's the original submission:

"This is totally random, but do you guys know a touring band member that needs full health insurance?... in exchange for marrying me. I'm in the military and I want to live off post and I have to be married to do this. I would prefer a touring guy because if they ask where he is I can say 'touring' :) Thanks either way... I know this is random. Love you guys!"


If you're game, let us know, and we'll pass your information along to this pragmatic young lady.
Comments
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 7:25:33 AM
Throw in some anal and you got a deal
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 7:26:04 AM
nudes first
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 7:27:51 AM
insurance isn't hardcore
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 7:34:11 AM
No ButtHole, No Care
xxryanxx   posted 3/31/2012 7:42:24 AM
I'm not in a touring band but desperately need health insurance. Do I still have a chance?
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 7:49:00 AM
Id have to see her first. But I'm game.
withoutashield   posted 3/31/2012 8:29:31 AM
Yeah well listen lady, they could be playing BF3 all day and you could still say they're "touring."
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 8:35:45 AM
AHAHA BF3>COD
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 9:21:18 AM
what a dumb*** #1 i am in the military and this is frauding the government with a contract marriage.....u do what u want, i don care but posting it on the internet...evidently she is not very smart...sure marry her...wow
Chicken_gang_bang   posted 3/31/2012 9:50:15 AM
I already have insurance
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 10:12:26 AM
It's a trap!
ineedsalt   posted 3/31/2012 10:38:50 AM
army chick? i dunno... but if you can hear that little pop when it goes in the poo that could be the way to go
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 12:12:38 PM
Defrauding the government is always smart. Good luck moving up the ranks with ideas like this..remember that all ranks can view what you wrote, and they are.
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 12:58:13 PM
Get health insurance and never have to see you wife? Best thing ever!
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 2:00:08 PM
I read some of the posts from other military members. I am also in the military. I was on a ship where people got caught doing this (fraud marriage arrangements to get more money and live off the ship), and they were kicked out of the miltary for this along with having to pay a bunch of money back to the government.
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 2:01:32 PM
If she is in the military there is 99% chance she looks dumpy as hell. No pics necessary.
slut   posted 3/31/2012 2:56:59 PM
I bet she listens to Hatebreed too. Eww
anonymous   posted 3/31/2012 3:51:03 PM
is lambgoat arranging marriages now...chances are if someone actually follows through with this, your not going to get laid. Although i can't picture an argument coming out of this considering your both complete strangers, who have nothing to talk about.
bastardmaker   posted 3/31/2012 7:30:42 PM
what if I'm just a touring homeless guy?
anonymous   posted 4/1/2012 7:40:25 AM
Since lambgoat admins know who this is, they should forward her name and email to the general contact email for her branch of service. Im sure that this will make her first line supervisor's day.
anonymous   posted 4/1/2012 10:03:30 AM
Gimme some face sitting and we have a deal.
withoutashield   posted 4/1/2012 1:03:28 PM
lol @ Lambgoat admins.
anonymous   posted 4/1/2012 3:44:44 PM
Emmure likes this
anonymous   posted 4/1/2012 3:46:31 PM
Lambgoat is a match maker
snoopy2   posted 4/1/2012 3:58:37 PM
Ask justice from TUI next time those faggots goto Germany
anonymous   posted 4/3/2012 4:17:35 PM
TITS OR GTFO