Dance Club Massacre Feast of the Blood Monsters

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Reviewed by: Nick   //   Published: 9/13/2007

Why, Black Market Activities, why After a recent string of quality releases for the label, they offer up Feast of the Blood Monsters, the debut full-length from Dance Club Massacre. Feast of the Blood Monsters is two parts nu-grind, one part painfully unfunny themes, and an intolerable amount of less than impressive organ parts. This is the half-retarded offspring of Daughters-style grind and an attempted theft of the brilliance of Cursive's The Ugly Organ. It's obvious that this disc is an intended light-hearted effort, but let's be honest, shit is shit no matter what mentalities lie behind it.

"Dos Mio! El Diablo es Muy Picante" is a keys-heavy intro that plays off of extremely cheesy horror movie sounds. Boring. "Meet Me in the Pub for a Shot of Dignity" is 53 seconds of overproduced and completely uninteresting nu-grind. Trite. "You know... You Kinda Look Cute in the Dark" is repetitive and relies too heavily on already annoying keyboards in an attempt to be memorable. Garbage. "You Bring the Bitches, I'll Bring the Dynamite" is, well, about as good as the song title. Shit. And then there's the closer, "You're What the French Call 'Les Incompetents'," a track plagued by what may be the worst breakdown written since the deplorable garbage seen in a little number called "I am the Tin Man" (see a now-defunct group by the name of In Harms Way for proper reference).

Please stop forming bands like this. Please do not take candy-coated elements of grind and then mix them with trendy metalcore styles and cheesy keyboards. Somebody please cut this off at the source. This is not original. This is not enjoyable. This is a flavor of the year sound that will phase itself out as soon as the "fans" who partake in this nonsense take a small step back and realize the cold, unforgiving truth about this style of music: it is complete and utter shit.

Bottom Line: Why, Black Market Activities, why

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